It's Friday, time for a joke.

It's Friday, time for a joke.

This is a discussion on It's Friday, time for a joke. within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; The Ant and the Grasshopper: 2 Scenarios *OLD VERSION*: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying ...

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Thread: It's Friday, time for a joke.

  1. #1
    Distinguished Member Array 4my sons's Avatar
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    Talking It's Friday, time for a joke.

    The Ant and the Grasshopper: 2 Scenarios

    *OLD VERSION*:
    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the wi nter.

    The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

    Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

    The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

    MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

    ************************************************** **********

    *MODERN VERSION:*
    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

    The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

    Come winter, the shivering grasshopper call s a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

    CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

    How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

    Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, "its Not Easy Being Green."

    Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.


    Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

    Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

    Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

    The ant loses the case.

    The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the la st bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grass hopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

    MORAL OF THE STORY: Be very very careful how you vote.
    "fundamental principle of American law that a government and its agents are under no general duty to provide public services, such as police protection, to any individual citizen." [Warren v. District of Columbia,(D.C. Ct. of Ap., 1981)]
    If I have to explain it, you wouldn't understand


  2. #2
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    MORAL OF THE STORY: ........
    How the heck did we ever get like this?!!
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  3. #3
    Distinguished Member Array P7fanatic's Avatar
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    Cool




    I definately prefer the 2nd version but.....
    I thought Nancy Pelosi and John Kerry was accompanied by Hillary Clinton and that it was the ACLU that represented the grasshopper.
    Last edited by P7fanatic; December 8th, 2007 at 10:43 AM.
    "The price of freedom is eternal vigilance." -Thomas Jefferson

    "Liberalism is a Mental Disorder." -Michael Savage

    GOOD Gun Control is being able to hit your target! -Myself

  4. #4
    VIP Member Array goldshellback's Avatar
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    Ya know.....that is as sickingly (is that a REAL word?) true as it is funny!
    "Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008

    (Sometimes) "a fight avioded is a fight won." ... claude clay

  5. #5
    VIP Member Array artz's Avatar
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    LOL.....
    " Refuse to be a victim, make sure there is a round chambered ! "

    Just call me a pessimistic optimist !

    U.S. Navy vet 1981-1992

  6. #6
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    Hmmmmm, the names have changed since the last time I saw it!
    Rick

    EOD - Initial success or total failure

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    Member Array LoneRanger's Avatar
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    Sad but true....
    "You gonna do something about it or just stand there and bleed?" -Wyatt Earp

  8. #8
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    Where's the joke? That's NOT a joke!
    George

    Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. Albert Einstein

  9. #9
    VIP Member Array aus71383's Avatar
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    +1 Socialism sucks. Good joke though. My favorite part was the panel of judges from a list of single parent welfare families appointed by Bill Clinton hearing a case presented by Hillary's law firm....priceless. Thanks

    Austin

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by P95Carry View Post
    How the heck did we ever get like this?!!
    Not voting...
    The last Blood Moon Tetrad for this millennium starts in April 2014 and ends in September 2015...according to NASA.

    ***********************************
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    NRA Life Member[/B]

  11. #11
    VIP Member Array friesepferd's Avatar
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    funny, but true.. so really not funny at all

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