Best Worst First Date Ever

Best Worst First Date Ever

This is a discussion on Best Worst First Date Ever within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Got this through email and thought I would share it.... If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when ...

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Thread: Best Worst First Date Ever

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array rabywk's Avatar
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    Best Worst First Date Ever

    Got this through email and thought I would share it....

    If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope
    you're sitting down when you read it. This is
    probably the funniest date story ever, first date or
    not!!! We have all had bad dates but this one takes
    the cake.

    Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most
    embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The
    winner described her worst first date experience.
    There was absolutely no question as to why her tale
    took the prize!

    She said it was midwinter ... snowing and quite cold
    ... and the guy had taken her skiing in the
    mountains outside Salt Lake City , Utah. It was a day
    trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all,
    and truly had never met before.

    The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until
    they were headed home late that afternoon. They were
    driving back down the mountain, when she gradually
    began to realize that she shouldn't have had that
    extra latte.

    They were about an hour away from anywhere with a
    rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her
    companion suggested she try to hold it, which she
    did for a while.

    Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow
    going, there came a point where she told him that he
    had better stop and let her go beside the road, or
    it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped
    and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked
    her pants down and started. In the deep snow she
    didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest
    against the rear fender to steady herself.


    Her companion stood on the side of the car watching
    for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and
    refrained from peeking. All she could think about
    was the relief she felt despite the rather
    embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing
    however, she soon became aware of another sensation.
    As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady
    discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against
    the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to
    poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to
    disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was
    quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem
    due to the extreme cold.


    Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor
    of the moment, she answered her date's concerns
    about 'what is taking so long' with a reply that
    indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need
    of some assistance! He came around the car as she
    tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as
    she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out
    laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they
    finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed
    her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the
    situation was, they also were faced with a real
    problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to
    free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy
    metal!


    Thinking about what had gotten her into the
    predicament in the first place, both quickly
    realized that there was only one way to get her
    free. So, as she looked the other way, her
    first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee
    her butt off the fender.


    As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the
    Tonight Show prize hands down.
    Or perhaps that should be 'pants down.'
    And you thought your first date was embarrassing.
    Jay Leno's comment...
    'This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed
    off.'


    Oh, and how did the first date turn out?
    He became her husband and was sitting next to her
    on the Leno show.
    NRA Rifle Coach
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    --- Some of the friendliest people I have ever talked to are gun owners and shooters and according to the gun activists we are the mass murders and felons of the nation???


  2. #2
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    Array pgrass101's Avatar
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    That's a good one
    A real man loves his wife, and places his family as the most important thing in life. Nothing has brought me more peace and content in life than simply being a good husband and father.

  3. #3
    VIP Member Array goldshellback's Avatar
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    there are no words.......
    "Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008

    (Sometimes) "a fight avioded is a fight won." ... claude clay

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    Senior Member Array MR D's Avatar
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    It's official... you owe me a new keyboard....

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    VIP Member Array friesepferd's Avatar
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    wow, thats great.

  6. #6
    VIP Member Array artz's Avatar
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    LOL....
    " Refuse to be a victim, make sure there is a round chambered ! "

    Just call me a pessimistic optimist !

    U.S. Navy vet 1981-1992

  7. #7
    VIP Member Array BigEFan's Avatar
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    Classic!
    Lex et Libertas Semper Vigilo, Fortis, Paratus, et Fidelis!

    "Not only do the people who put their lives on the line to protect the rest of us deserve better, we all deserve better than to have our own security undermined by those who undermine law enforcement." -Thomas Sowell

  8. #8
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    My wife and I really enjoyed this one...thanks!!

  9. #9
    Senior Member Array rangerman2003's Avatar
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    hahha thats awesome
    Calling an illegal alien an 'undocumented immigrant' is like calling a drug dealer an 'unlicensed pharmacist'

    De inimico non Loquaris sed cogites.

    Do not wish ill for your enemy, plan for it!

  10. #10
    Member Array Diesel 007's Avatar
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    Roflmao
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  11. #11
    Distinguished Member Array Dakotaranger's Avatar
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    I guess if you're in that situation and you both can survive the embarassment you can survive the next fifty years.
    "[T]he people are not to be disarmed of their weapons.
    They are left in full possession of them."

    Zacharia Johnson (speech in the Virginia Ratifying Convention,25 June 1778)"The best we can hope for concerning the people at large is that they be properly armed." ~Alexander Hamilton

  12. #12
    VIP Member Array randy7601's Avatar
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    Great story, but most likely a hoax.

    Here' the rebuttal:

    http://www.snopes.com/love/dating/frozen.asp
    Randy
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    Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read. -Groucho Marx

  13. #13
    Senior Member Array rabywk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randy7601 View Post
    Great story, but most likely a hoax.

    Here' the rebuttal:

    http://www.snopes.com/love/dating/frozen.asp
    Well either way, it is funny.
    NRA Rifle Coach
    NRA Pistol Instructor
    NRA Personal Protection In the Home Instructor

    --- Some of the friendliest people I have ever talked to are gun owners and shooters and according to the gun activists we are the mass murders and felons of the nation???

  14. #14
    VIP Member Array TN_Mike's Avatar
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    That is a funny story no matter if it is true or not!
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  15. #15
    Distinguished Member Array morintp's Avatar
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    Thanks a lot. Now I have to clean the spit off my monitor.

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