You might be a Gun "Nut" if....
This is a discussion on You might be a Gun "Nut" if.... within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; This is an old thread I found in a Florida gun related Forum. I haven't seen it here so I thought you may enjoy it. ...
July 31st, 2005 08:28 AM
You might be a Gun "Nut" if....
This is an old thread I found in a Florida gun related Forum. I haven't seen it here so I thought you may enjoy it. If you think of one, add to the list!
You might be a Gun "Nut" if....
...you have ever loaded a drawer up with so much ammo that you can't open it
...when someone asks how many guns you have, you have to think about it for a minute
...you have ever bought ammo in a caliber that none of your guns fire
...the guns you took to the range cost more then your car
...you carry a different gun every day of the week
...whenever you can't decide which gun to get, you get both
...you get your wife/girlfriend to wear Hoppes 9 instead of her usual perfume.
......you take so many guns to the range and don't shoot half of them.
......you have an extra room in your house just for ammo and guns.
......your home page is set to a firearms related webpage.
--- you count the number of bullets that people shoot in a movie and then scream a top of your lungs BULLSH**!!! when a guy using a revover mows down a battalion of criminals without relaoding.
--- you know more about the Constitution than your lawyer.
--- your wife leaves you and you don't mind. Your dog gets run over by a truck and you barely flinch. But you accidentally drop your favorite gun, gets scratched and you cry a river.
---- if you ever though to do your own "Gun Buy-Back" program. Let's face it, even a Saturday Night Special for a $20 Blockbuster Gift Card is a good deal.
---- if you have more holster than Imelda Marcos had shoes.
---- if you never stop looking for pre-ban hi-cap magazines... even in a supermarket.
---------- if you can field strip any firearm you own hanging upside down and blindfolded
--if you have ever bought a gun to fill an old holster someone gave you. (So many times I can no longer count 'em.)
-- if you have ever bought a gun to shoot up a half-filled 20-round box of ammo someone gave you, because you didn't have a rifle in that caliber yet. Ditto for when someone gives you an old set of reloading dies in some obscure caliber.
--if you have ever accidentally run a pocket pistol through the wash and spin cycles, still in your pants pocket.
-- if you do not own a single fabric-based item (clothing, bags or suitcases) that does NOT set off the explosives trace detector at the airport.
--if you have ever bought a gun that is identical to TWO you already own, because the first two are out-of-production NIB examples and you can't bring yourself to shoot them.
--When buying something with pocket change, you have to pick the dimes and quarters out of a handful of loose ammo.
--if you regularly find guns around the house and in far corners of the safe that you have no memory of buying ... and such discoveries no longer surprise you.
--if you have ever busted a spring on your car from piling too much ammo in the trunk on the way to a shoot.
--For you NFA junkies: You know the birthday of your BATF examiner, even though you can't remember your wife's.
--if you have ever researched a firearm you own to find out the date it was manufactured ... and then thrown a birthday party for it.
--if you go to WalMart for back-to-school supplies, then must explain to your wife why that includes 1k of 9mm Win white box.
--if your dog is "Dog" and your cat is "Cat," but each of your guns has a name. (Well, at least the guns you're closest to -- ya know, the ones you've bonded with.)
----when you say "Damn ! That is a sexy looking piece!", your wife knows you are not looking at another woman.
----- whenever you see a story on TV about a gator spotted in a neighborhood, you think "Crap, there goes another target of opportunity."
----- if your AR, after installing all the new gadgets, now weighs more than a FAL.
---- if any time a wheather person on TV gives the latest update on the hurricane du jour, you wonder if you have enough ammo.
---- if your hurricane panels have shooting ports.
.. if you have to have additional homeowner's insurance specifically for firearms.
... if the cops have ever called Homeland Security after pulling you over
...if you have ever carried more then two guns at once
...when the local gunshop needs an obscure magazine, they call you
...when you call your local rep's office, the guy who answers groans and says "I'll tell him again not to vote for AWB" as soon as he hears your name
...if you have more holsters then pants
... if the movers all groan when they see your gunsafe
...if you spend half an hour bitching about how the good guy in the movie killed 20 badguys firing full-auto from the hip
...if your spend another half an hour explaining how the movie would have been over in 10 minutes if any of the bad guys victims had a gun
... if you regularly just sit and stare at your guns for a while, and the rest of your family doesn't find this strange
...if you reach into your pocket for change at the local 7-11 and pull out loose ammo along with your change.
...if the guy working at the 7-11 knows you and isn't suprised.
---- if you have a poster of Burt Gummer holding an 8 bore rifle. ("Guess you broke into the wrong God damn rec room, didn't ya!")
---- if you can actually take a nap in a gun range.
---- if you felt a knot in your stomach when they showed US Soldiers destroying a cache of brand spanking new AK-74 on the news.
---- if you considered that the cheaply goldplated HK MP-5 was reason enough to oust Hussein.
-----When you mount a tripod, bayonet and flash suppressor to your N.A.A. 22 MINI MAG
------If you do a complete breakdown of all your weapons just to stay in practice - "especially if you haven't made it to the range lately"
------if you find more .22LR than loose change when you clean out your car.
------if your nightstand is stacked with gun rags and firearm technical and reloading manuals.
------if you build a portable reloading system so you can reload in the family room and not miss your favorite tv-show.
---- if the local SWAT teams stop by your house for guns and ammo before heading out to the big bust.
-----you proudly announce to the world that your first born weighs 35,000 grains.
-----you understand exactly the guy above means.
July 31st, 2005 09:08 AM
Good Stuff lot of them apply to me
July 31st, 2005 10:55 AM
...If you notice the gun on the cover of he Dillon's catalog before noticing the girl...
I'm not that far gone yet.
July 31st, 2005 11:54 AM
-----You've actually considered if you have the right caliber, weapon platform, and supply of ammo for the coming zombie invasion...
Well....maybe not a Gun Nut, but a nut of some kind
"I surrounded 'em"- Alvin York
"They're ain't many troubles that a man can't fix with seven hundred dollars and a thirty ought six"- Jeff Cooper
July 31st, 2005 01:08 PM
OMG LOL.......I can honestly answer to 85% of the stuff!! the Hoppes #9 thing wouldn't be a go, tho I've had a lot on my hands and it sometimes is mentioned about the "Cologne" I'm wearing LOL
July 31st, 2005 01:14 PM
(quote from Miggy)
"For you NFA junkies: You know the birthday of your BATF examiner, even though you can't remember your wife's"
I got real friendly with the ATF Examinier that took my NFA forms, I also had a good relationship with the Agents that came to inspect my books.. I always offered coffee and pastry to them, and once, TWO of them came to the shop, and was shocked to see how cordial I was. I never had trouble with my books, but made good friends in the process.
It's also pretty bad that when I can walk into another Shop, the Gun Dealers' customers start asking ME questions, instead of the Gun Dealer, about the products on the floor or in the display cases, or the Employess of the Shop start asking me questions about what they have in the cases, so they can be better informed
July 31st, 2005 06:48 PM
Far too many ring true LOL .
Gotta dash - time for another dash of #9 behind the ears.
Chris - P95
NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.
"To own a gun and assume that you are armed
is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."
- a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.
August 2nd, 2005 02:25 AM
I knew too much - the shop owner hired me part time because I could answer obscure questions and take guns apart better than his 70 year old gunsmith.
Driver carries less than $45 worth of remorse.
August 2nd, 2005 02:58 AM
I've learned this is all relative.
To me most of the regulars here are my "gun nuts" because they can tell me when my Colt Agent was made or what the practical differences are between Brand X and Brand Y or where to learn how to operate a bolt action rifle in CQB and what the ballistics of the latest Wildcat cartridges are and is a 2 piece barrel really that big of a deal and why is it that people at gunshows are so stupid sometimes etc. etc.
To most of the public at large I am a "gun nut" because I'm not scared to pick one up and learn how it works, I know the difference between a semiautomatic pistol and my ass, I own more than one gun, I own evil "assault weapons", I believe I'm responsible for my own personal safety, etc.
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