Kids driving me crazy about money
This is a discussion on Kids driving me crazy about money within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Man, is anyone else the least wealthy people they know? That's my only stress causer in life right now.
My wife and I both work ...
January 1st, 2008 05:00 PM
Kids driving me crazy about money
Man, is anyone else the least wealthy people they know? That's my only stress causer in life right now.
My wife and I both work full time and still we seem to have less money than anyone I know. Of course we have 5 kids and a mini van payment along with the rent and utilities. And I seem to have a daughter who has no real concept of this. She doesn't seem to understand that we just do not have the disposable income that most of her friends have. Those friends don't have 4 brothers and all the expense that goes along with having a bunch of kids. But she doesn't seem to grasp that.
I see all these folks who live around here with much larger houses and much nicer vehicles and I wonder what they do for a living and how I can learn to do it.
She wants to go to the mall today. My wife and I tell her that we just don't have the money to go to the mall and blow plus, I don't want to use the gas to get there. Now she's pouting.
Say what you want about the "terrible twos" but I'll take them over the horrible 13 any day.
So, the first day of 2008 seems to be a cruddy one here at our house. A bunch of money in the bank would sure make my life easier but that doesn't seem to be in the cards for me.
January 1st, 2008 05:25 PM
Know what? I've had lots of customers with tons of money with miserable kids who always want more. They were pretty miserable people themselves. Known some pretty poor ones to who were pretty happy. One place we did work for was noted for all it's well off people and the motto there was "Cash in advance, and I mean cash!".
Originally Posted by TN_Mike
Don't let the money thing get to you. I've been there myself and about killed myself to make more and then watched it all disappear in a major health crisis. The daughter will either grow up some and learn or she won't but don't let that determine your happiness. In fact if she sees that her attitude only affects her and no one else I'm bettin' it might change.
I'm also the "poorest" member of my family and facing serious health challenges with my wife but for some reason we seem happier than the rest of them who live on easy street.
If you stand up and be counted, from time to time you may get yourself knocked down. But remember this: A man flattened by an opponent can get up again. A man flattened by conformity stays down for good. ~ Thomas J. Watson, Jr.
January 1st, 2008 05:30 PM
VIP Member (Retired Staff)
It's very hard to get kids to understand the finer points of fiscal management ....... they think the stuff grows on trees.
The thing they seem to least understand is where ''disposable'' income comes from ... they often assume that all monies coming in are for buying goodies - forgetting just what is involved with the total tally - when all fixed outgoings are factored in.
As you find and so do many - what might be left to spend as we wish can often be very little. Life seems to be all bills ..... and not much spare to play with. Been there Mike .. and these days now am cutting back as well - I have to breath some relief now kids are all gone - that is a tough time.
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January 1st, 2008 05:40 PM
Can I tell you about Amway?
Or you can tell your daughter there is a book in the bible that explains it all. It is the book of Job. If she wants extra money, she can always get one.
Sad to say, but teenagers just do not understand that everything is not going to be given to them. Somehow they think it is their right. I had two that went through it. They still ask me for stuff and I tell them to read their bible. (See above comment)
I got tired of walking into a store and having my kids constantly ask for $50 pairs of jeans. The way I handled it was that I figured out how much I spent on them per month. Then I gave them a debit card and deposited that amount in their account every month. They are responsible for all their clothes, entertainment, etc. Now when they ask me for a $50 pair of jeans, I say sure, whip out your debit card. Funny how they buy on sale/clearance now. Then I tied the deposit to chores around the house. I actually saved money because they never did the chores to earn the money to go to the mall. So when they ask me to buy them something because they have no money, I say no and if they want to buy something, they better start doing chores to earn the money. Unfortunately, they haven't quite grasped that concept.
It is all a life lesson and they will finally figure out what you are trying to teach them around 23. Hang in there.
January 1st, 2008 06:27 PM
I raised two daughters, and you're right...that period between 13-17 is rough! My wife and I sacrificed to buy a house in a good neighborhood, which placed my girls in an affluent school district. No way could we compete with the wealthy kids there. My daughters finally got it and are better for it today.
January 1st, 2008 06:32 PM
I am so there with you, Mike. My girl is 13 and the boy is 10, we just back from a couple fo store where they had gift cards, which always leads to "can I get this thing that only cost XX more than I have. Today we just had to say no. Not $2 more than you have of your own. We just don't have it. Then the boy got mad when he saw a $20 in my wallet. They have a hard time grasping the difference between having the money and having the money. Thats $20 of groceries and gas. The worst thing is, I can recall making minimum wage thinking "boy, if I could just make $10/hr. Thats All I need. Well, I've doubled even that and we seem not much better off. One morelicense exam and I should get promoted at work and get another good raise. That's all I should ever need....Yeah, right.
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January 1st, 2008 06:43 PM
There are folks on food stamps who drive much nicer cars than I do, and I'm sure lots of people in "the mortgage crisis" have nicer houses than I do. I'm sure you and I will soon be paying those mortgages for them. Others have made decisions to spend more time at work than I do.
Originally Posted by TN_Mike
I'd still rather be me than them.
January 1st, 2008 07:03 PM
When my kid was 8 he thought money came from an ATM. He never quite made the connection between the fact that BOTH mom and dad had full time jobs and what came out of the slot after you punched in the PIN.
He is a fully grown adult now, working hard for hourly pay. Strangely, he still doesn't quite get it.
Just tell your daughter that you and mom work hard earning the best living that you are able to, and that right now there is no extra money. Don't try to gloss over the fact that the piggy bank is bare, and absolutely do not in any way put yourself or your wife down for not earning enough. You do what you can and that is all the kids can ask of you. It is all you can ask of yourself.
They will grow and learn, or not. But, they won't learn if you extend yourself to give them what they want.
And lots of folks need to remember that a big part of the hurt is the near tripling of gas prices and constant underlying inflation due to fiscal mismanagement. Remember both when you are thinking of candidates you might vote for. Ask yourself, in a serious way, which will do the best job for ordinary folks? Who will do the best job for people like me?
January 1st, 2008 07:15 PM
Yep, it's called debt up to there eye balls for the ones who you think and appear to be living large.
A huge bank account does not make the parent, Mike.
Train and train hard, you might not get a second chance to make a first impression!
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January 1st, 2008 07:47 PM
It's tough. I have two daughters, and remember feeling horrible that I couldn't afford to give them all the things their friends had. But my girls were great and understood we couldn't afford them. But you still don't feel good about it.
January 1st, 2008 08:03 PM
Give some thought to Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. I think he's about the most level headed financial adviser around. Common sense and motivating. I'm not quite there yet but will be by the end of 2008. Although Dave can be little "religious" his principles on financial management are very sound.
BTW, teen girls and boys are a pain in the butt. Stay the course and don't buy in to the whining manipulation and button-pushing guilt trip she puts on. When she whines for more money, reply with "how do you want to earn and save it?" If she wants more money make her work for it. She can babysit, mow yards, shovel snow, or whatever to make it. She can do extra jobs around the house for a few bucks occasionally. Make sure she saves a certain percentage and has a budget.
On another note this is very normal for teens.
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January 1st, 2008 08:29 PM
I'm 21,so alot of my friens have managed to graduate college/get certifications/etc(I graduated vocational school BUT got hurt so had to start at "ground zero" all over again),so here I am working full-time, going to school parttime (VERY challenging),...I do live in a nice house w/one roommate, but still bothers me at times to see folks my age making ALOT more money than I do, driving nicer cars, already having/have children,...etc. I look forward to getting married,and better situated to have children,but I know thats at least several years off for me ,..*sigh*
Hang in there.
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January 1st, 2008 08:39 PM
21??? Here's some advise from someone older than your Dad. If you want money and toys, STAY SINGLE! Two can live as cheaply as one, it just costs twice as much. Throw in a pile of kids, you might be able to buy a Norinco after you've paid for all their colleges.
January 1st, 2008 09:24 PM
Hunger is the greatest pickle. I grew up with next to nothing and worked for anything extra. My 13 year old works around the neighborhood and grandparents for extra money. It's not much but it's a great learning experience.
January 1st, 2008 09:56 PM
+100 on Dave Ramsey.
We sat down with our kids individually and "built a budget" for the household off of our incomes. What an eye-opening experience for a teenager that wants more stuff that costs money! I highly recommend this approach.
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