Why Six Year Olds Terrorize Me
Yeah Six Year olds are great... when they're asleep... I can see it now...
I want a Power Ranger I'm hungry I'm bored I'm cold I'm hot Wheeee I want one of those give me a ride now put me down...
And it culminates in the child barfing on your head for which you spring $2300 for an ER visit.
Dear God, I never want a 6 year old. That would consume your entire life. $150 a month alone for the extra health insurance, you'd never get a moment's peace, "Hey Euclidean wanna go break stuff in an alley?" "I sure do but I can't I have a 6 year old"...
Plus where the heck would I raise a kid in here? Behind the laundry hamper?
I also remember what it was like for me living making $14,000 a year my first year out of college. It was horrible. Sure I was alive, but it was a terrible quality of life. The fact is I would not subject someone I supposedly cared about to that horrid existence. If I had to support 2 other people, we'd all have a lot less than even that to live on each. I don't mind that happening to me but I ain't gonna do it to someone else.
But okay let's say you have the kid.
Then your wife divorces you and takes 65% of your assets with her, thousands of dollars or more and two years in court later you finally get visitation rights but only on Leap Day and only for 30 minutes under court supervision. Of course by this time your 6 year old doesn't even remember you any more and asks you why Mommy says you don't love them...
Happened to a former friend of mine who got hitched right after we graduated high school. Poor, poor *******. :frown: He's now a worthless drunk woman beater with whom I no longer associate with.
And there but for the grace of God go I.
Let's see, I believe I can think of three friends within 1-2 years of me, 23-25 years old being the range here, who have been married, one with children, and it was the biggest mistake any of them ever made.
The one who had the kid wasn't actually the father, he married into it. As a matter of fact he and his wife of 11 months at the time of their separation never had relations according to him.
All three of them were divorced within 15 months. Sometimes I think I am a mess because of this that or the other but I now realize being an ugly geek is a blessing in disguise. All three of these guys used to be decent sorts and now all three of them are losers. Two of them have been in jail (and deserved it) since their divorce. They're all miserable and they can't think for themselves any more.
But the one who had the kid is by far the worst of them all. I've never seen a human being fall so far before save for one. I won't elaborate but I believe associating with people like him will only lead to bad things, and I've already said my peace.
If you've stayed married and I don't care what gender you are, you have my respect for it. I don't understand how you do it. Me? I'm no different from these other guys. I'll keep far far away from 6 year olds and anything that leads up to them.
Really I have to admit some of the stuff that happened was pretty funny, like my buddy's fiance going through his stuff and throwing away his Sports Illustrateds, his computer games, and his air rifle and them making him carry it all out to the garbage, but the way it all ended sure isn't anything to laugh about.