Why Six Year Olds Terrorize Me

This is a discussion on Why Six Year Olds Terrorize Me within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Yeah Six Year olds are great... when they're asleep... I can see it now... I want a Power Ranger I'm hungry I'm bored I'm cold ...

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Thread: Why Six Year Olds Terrorize Me

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    VIP Member Array Euclidean's Avatar
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    Why Six Year Olds Terrorize Me

    Yeah Six Year olds are great... when they're asleep... I can see it now...

    I want a Power Ranger I'm hungry I'm bored I'm cold I'm hot Wheeee I want one of those give me a ride now put me down...

    And it culminates in the child barfing on your head for which you spring $2300 for an ER visit.

    Dear God, I never want a 6 year old. That would consume your entire life. $150 a month alone for the extra health insurance, you'd never get a moment's peace, "Hey Euclidean wanna go break stuff in an alley?" "I sure do but I can't I have a 6 year old"...

    Plus where the heck would I raise a kid in here? Behind the laundry hamper?

    I also remember what it was like for me living making $14,000 a year my first year out of college. It was horrible. Sure I was alive, but it was a terrible quality of life. The fact is I would not subject someone I supposedly cared about to that horrid existence. If I had to support 2 other people, we'd all have a lot less than even that to live on each. I don't mind that happening to me but I ain't gonna do it to someone else.

    But okay let's say you have the kid.

    Then your wife divorces you and takes 65% of your assets with her, thousands of dollars or more and two years in court later you finally get visitation rights but only on Leap Day and only for 30 minutes under court supervision. Of course by this time your 6 year old doesn't even remember you any more and asks you why Mommy says you don't love them...

    Happened to a former friend of mine who got hitched right after we graduated high school. Poor, poor *******. He's now a worthless drunk woman beater with whom I no longer associate with.

    And there but for the grace of God go I.

    Let's see, I believe I can think of three friends within 1-2 years of me, 23-25 years old being the range here, who have been married, one with children, and it was the biggest mistake any of them ever made.

    The one who had the kid wasn't actually the father, he married into it. As a matter of fact he and his wife of 11 months at the time of their separation never had relations according to him.

    All three of them were divorced within 15 months. Sometimes I think I am a mess because of this that or the other but I now realize being an ugly geek is a blessing in disguise. All three of these guys used to be decent sorts and now all three of them are losers. Two of them have been in jail (and deserved it) since their divorce. They're all miserable and they can't think for themselves any more.

    But the one who had the kid is by far the worst of them all. I've never seen a human being fall so far before save for one. I won't elaborate but I believe associating with people like him will only lead to bad things, and I've already said my peace.

    If you've stayed married and I don't care what gender you are, you have my respect for it. I don't understand how you do it. Me? I'm no different from these other guys. I'll keep far far away from 6 year olds and anything that leads up to them.

    Really I have to admit some of the stuff that happened was pretty funny, like my buddy's fiance going through his stuff and throwing away his Sports Illustrateds, his computer games, and his air rifle and them making him carry it all out to the garbage, but the way it all ended sure isn't anything to laugh about.

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  3. #2
    JT
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    Wow, you’re awful bitter for a young guy.

    I never thought I would be ready for kids, until it happened. Now I have a beautiful six-year daughter who I could not imagine life without. My wife says that little girl has had me wrapped around her finger since birth. The two of them are the absolute joy of my life.

    There is a lot to give up and there is certainly financial strain, but it is well worth it. We had her when I was 30, so I was in a little bit better position financially then some, but it was still an adjustment. We didn’t have the heart to leave her with someone else, but my wife couldn’t quit working. So she quit her job at a major accounting firm to work in daycare, so she could work but still be with her. Talk about a huge salary cut.

    It is terrible when you have kids and the parents get divorced. I think it was better when parents use to stay together for the kids. I’m not judging anybody, my parents were divorced. I know it is not always possible to stay together. It’s certainly better to get a divorce than to live with various forms of abuse, be it physical or mental. But if all possible the sacrifice you make for the kids is an honorable thing. And you might just find along the way that there were some pretty good reasons you married the person in the first place. Try to be sure going in to a marriage that this is really the person you could spend the rest of your life with. Especially if you are gong to have kids. Divorce is very hard on kids. I know from experience
    Last edited by JT; August 17th, 2005 at 09:29 AM.
    Blessed be the Lord my rock who trains my hands for war and my fingers for battle. Psalm 144:1

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    I've seen plenty of results of children who were born to unprepared, neglectful parents.

    My cousins have a darling 5 year-old girl who speaks terrible English. When you hear her, your jaw just drops. Her sentences are incredibly broken and almost unintelligible; my 4 year-old niece speaks twice as good as she. Her dad, my cousin, sort-of works, and her mom sits around watching TV all day. The girl is ignored and will interrupt and stand right on front of you talking because that's the only way she can seem to get attention. The parents decided not to marry, because it was easier for the taxpayers to support them if they were considered a "single parent family."

    That's nothing compared to the kids mrshonts gets at his foster agency.

    I love kids. I'm going to wait until I'm absolutely mentally and financially prepared to have one, and that the child will have a stable environment to grow up in. Meanwhile, I'll just have fun with my nieces.

    I love my nieces. The four year-old is a sweet girl, but she has this habit of being the biggest pain sissy. Brush her hair, and she whines that it hurts. Put her pants on, oh - they're too tight, she can't breathe. Strap her in her car seat, and she starts crying, "I can't breathe. It's too tight. I can't...." And then she fakes passing out. You get a nice quiet car ride, but you're worried that observing third parties think you're torturing the kid as you strap her in. Unbuckle her, and ta-dah! Magical reincarnation.

    The 1.5 year-old has decided that pouting by sitting, falling forward, clobbering her head on the floor and remaining there sobbing as loud as she can is the best way for her to direct attention from big sister to her. You look at her sobbing there and almost start to feel sorry for her, and then you notice she's taking "covert peeks" at you and her eyes are bone dry and her face isn't puffy red.

    "Nice try, Jade. That might work on your daddy, but it doesn't work on your Aunt Betty."
    "Americans have the will to resist because you have weapons. If you don't have a gun, freedom of speech has no power." - Yoshimi Ishikawa

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    Wow Euc - this must be your ''cynical stage'' of the week LOL!

    I must admit - now I am a Grandad, I am actually not hyper enthusiastic about spending large amounts of time with the newbies. In fact one regretably I have yet to be able to meet as he is other side of pond.

    I well remember many aspects of my two kid's early years - and believe me ''six'' was no more or less traumatic that many other stages. Each year seemed to bring of course different facets, some good, many not so good!

    In retrospect I would not have missed it all - even if I do think it took a toll on my well being! I do now have two people who are my very closest friends and who also have a close bond one with the other - something very special.

    My relative aversion now to kids is I think very much a ''grumpy old man'' deal - I no longer have quite the patience and resources I used to and so minimize my exposure somewhat

    Bottom line Euc - kids will bring you the lowest lows but also the highest highs - it's like having to experience sadness to really appreciate joy. Most trauma I ever experienced was with other folk's kids - and that's still the case!
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    Senior Member Array Tom357's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Euclidean
    ...If you've stayed married and I don't care what gender you are, you have my respect for it. I don't understand how you do it. Me? I'm no different from these other guys. I'll keep far far away from 6 year olds and anything that leads up to them...
    One day at a time.

    If and when you meet someone with whom you really, truly want to spend the rest of your life, you will understand. You just will. Even then, the best intentions in the world can't guarantee success. A good, solid marriage is hard work, but loving your work makes it much easier. Some people aren't cut out for marriage. That's OK. Some people aren't cut out for kids. That is a blessing for everyone. But I've found that the people who say they don't like kids, often mean "I don't like the way some kids behave" and they turn out to be great parents with well-behaved kids. As a parent, you have a lot of control over and all of the responsibility for what kind of a six-year old you have.

    We chose for my wife to be a stay-at-home mom, so we never had a huge salary to cut. When I married, I chose a profession that did not require frequent job changes, and a job that did not require frequent travel. It has meant we've done without (lots of guns) new cars, a large home, and a wide screen TV, but our kids have grown up at home. When they left for school in the morning, a parent was there. When they got home from school in the afternoon, a parent was there. In an economy increasingly geared toward multi-income homes, ours has been a frugal, modest lifestyle. I think it has made a huge, positive difference in how our kids have turned out.
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    I got married around your age. My first daughter is 8 months now and we just found out Sunday that we have another one on the way. I have to be honest, getting married and having children are the two best decisions I've ever made and I have never regretted it for an instant. Is it hard? Yes. But think of it this way - anything worth that much can't be bought easily.

    People change and sometimes you don't see the REAL person until they are put under the test. Don't blame the kids for their fall. The kid is the victim, not the dead beat dad...

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    JT
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    Quote Originally Posted by joe/OH
    People change and sometimes you don't see the REAL person until they are put under the test.
    I can honestly say that my daughter has made me a much better person. It was weird and cool at the same time. I knew it would be my responsibility to raise her to be a good person. I had no idea that she would make me a better one.
    Blessed be the Lord my rock who trains my hands for war and my fingers for battle. Psalm 144:1

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    Senior Member Array cmidkiff's Avatar
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    I was married at 18... to a 16 year old girl. We had a child immediatly. 3 months later, she took off, leaving me with the child. Over the next 8 years, I was a single father. I would not encorage anyone to follow in my footsteps, but it does build character!

    I then met and married my current wife, accepting her two infant children as my own. We had one more together. I now have 4 daughters, ranging from 9 to 18. I've been married for 10 years, and I'm the happiest married man you'll ever meet.

    If not for that early 'mistake' of a marriage, I would not have had the last 18 years with my daughter. Sometimes these 'mistakes' turn out for the best. I wouldn't change a thing if I had it to do all over, but it's not been easy.
    Liberty is an inherently offensive lifestyle. Living in a free society guarantees that each one of us will see our most cherished principles and beliefs questioned and in some cases mocked. It's worth it.

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    I got married the first time at 27. It lasted 12 years and ended in divorce, thankfully without kids. I married a woman (my current wife) with four kids ranging from 6 to 9 years old. The marriage has been easy, the two oldest kids have been a challenge at times. I would take four 6 year olds before I would take one 13-15 year old that is going through their rebellious years. The youngest is now almost 21 years old and, I find it very gratifying to look at the two youngest ones as responsible adults, with a great work ethic and good sense of right and wrong. The two older ones? That's another story entirely....
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    Member Array Fjolnirsson's Avatar
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    I have a sixteen month old daughter. Nothing can compare to her. She is my reason for everything. It's been tough since she came along, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I get to experience the world all over again, through eyes filled with wonder and excitement. Anything she looks at is fresh and new. My wife and I have been blessed beyond all expectations.
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    It's really other people's small children you end up not being able to stand. It was that way with me when my son was young, socialable and well behaved (he's now a sullen teenage boy). Come to think of it, I still don't like most small children. Marriage to the right person and the willingness to work at it and making the adjustments in your life is worth it.

    While I agree with you that being poor sucks, going through a divorce doesn't mean your life will go down the toliet either.

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    VIP Member Array Euclidean's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cmidkiff
    I was married at 18... to a 16 year old girl. We had a child immediatly. 3 months later, she took off, leaving me with the child. Over the next 8 years, I was a single father. I would not encorage anyone to follow in my footsteps, but it does build character!

    I then met and married my current wife, accepting her two infant children as my own. We had one more together. I now have 4 daughters, ranging from 9 to 18. I've been married for 10 years, and I'm the happiest married man you'll ever meet.

    If not for that early 'mistake' of a marriage, I would not have had the last 18 years with my daughter. Sometimes these 'mistakes' turn out for the best. I wouldn't change a thing if I had it to do all over, but it's not been easy.
    Hat's off to you man. That's crazy. Human beings never cease to amaze me.

    Honestly, here's what I've figured out from all that. For some reason these guys were all too eager to jump in. They were all out to prove to someone (no idea who) how manly they were.

    And man did it bite them in the keister.

    Now what I've never been able to figure out is my parents attribute these disasters to their age.

    But we all know that young age has little or nothing to do with any of it. My parents were 21 and 20 years old for Pete's sake and they're still trucking. They've been at it so long they've seen all their boys leave the house and their daughter isn't long for the nest either. My grandmother was 16 years old when she got hitched and never had any problems with grandpa.

    Then people get hitched at 35 and crash and burn within 2-3 years.

    It's crazy.

    These guys I'm talking about grew up within 6 blocks of me. Admittedly none of them went to college although one of them had a chance to, they didn't go into the service either, they didn't even happen upon a steady job. To be honest how and why they pulled it off is beyond me. But in a lot of ways, I'm the same as any of these guys. It seems most of the comments here indicate the experience made them better people, but these guys became worse people.

    Ain't worth it.

    At my core I think it's actually conducive to better overall living to be married at least for a guy. Why a gal would stoop to such depths mystifies me as it seems the male end of that arrangement seems to benefit the most. I can look at my own parents and realize Mom carries the lion's share of the burden.

    I think that's why all of these guys are such wrecks now. Any time I feel like a loser I think of them and realize while I'm worrying about what option I should pursue for graduate school in the next 2 years, these guys are helpless to do anything beyond the most menial of jobs for the most meager of rewards. They were married and took it for granted and they don't know how to deal with being single again even though they weren't married that long.

    And I realized a long time ago money doesn't make me happy, and I suppose I'm probably not unique in that regard at all, but I've got to admit I have a stick up my butt when it comes to this issue. You're the man, guess what you are biologically worthless once the child is actually conceived. A 15 month old child naturally wants its mother, not you. Your job is to build a life around that kid regardless of what it means you have to do to yourself. Suck it up and all that. I don't relish it but I could do that to myself because I know it's not the end of the world.

    But man alive, I support myself reasonably well, but start doubling all those expenses and then tripling them, it just ain't gonna work even if I starved myself.

    I'm keeping well away from it all. I have a vague notion I want to get a PhD at some point. I have even decided to take a few months to think about whether or not I want to become superintendent certified, a process which takes years, at least a decade if you're quick and lucky. Ain't gonna get there with all this baggage weighing me down.

  14. #13
    Member Array Q-ball's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Euclidean
    Ain't gonna get there with all this baggage weighing me down.
    If you look at raising a family as 'baggage' then you should continue on your path of singleness. My family is not baggage. My job, my guns, my car do not define me. The wife and children I have make up who I am and have made me a better person.
    When I was younger in my 20's I swore "No kids" and blah blah blah. It's a different story now. God has given me the responsibility of raising my children right and I accept that fully.
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    I also am a single parent, 2 girls. Its not as bad as ya think by a long shot. Not to be harsh but, you need to grow up a bit and I believe your perspective will change. While having kids influences my career and life decisions, I would not want to be without my kids. And, yes I could leave em with my ex if I wanted to. I think bottom line is , life is what ya make of it. If ya see kids as a nusance they will be. If ya see em as a wonderful beginning of the next generation they will be.

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    Member Array Fjolnirsson's Avatar
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    A 15 month old child naturally wants its mother, not you.
    The first words from my daughters mouth in the morning are "Daddy?"
    She won't stop until my wife takes her room to room to prove that I am not there. Periodically, throughout the day, she repeats the search for Daddy. When I get home from work, She runs to me with arms outstretched.
    Sure, there are times when she wants Mommy instead, but usually, it's Daddy she asks for.
    As Q-Ball said, if you view a family as baggage, you should not have one at this time. I am a better man for having my family. In every way, they have, and continue to improve both my quality of life, and my interactions with others.
    "Water can flow, or it can crash. Be like water, my friend."-Bruce Lee

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