Raising Boys!

Raising Boys!

This is a discussion on Raising Boys! within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; OK - more internet stuff - so probably old to many but - for the few who may not have seen this I pass it ...

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Thread: Raising Boys!

  1. #1
    VIP Member (Retired Staff) Array P95Carry's Avatar
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    Mar 2005
    South West PA

    Talking Raising Boys!

    OK - more internet stuff - so probably old to many but - for the few who may not have seen this I pass it on ....... some mentions are true classics



    a) For those who have grown children - this is hysterical!
    b) For those who have children past this age, this is hilarious.
    c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
    d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
    e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

    The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:

    "Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):"

    1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep

    2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

    3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

    4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

    5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat , you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

    6.) The glass in windows (e ven double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

    7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

    8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

    9) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

    10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

    11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

    12.) Super glue is forever.

    13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

    14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

    15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

    16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

    17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

    18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

    19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

    20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

    21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

    22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

    23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

    24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

    25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."

    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  2. #2
    VIP Member Array ELCruisr's Avatar
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    Apr 2006
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    My mother in law raised 9 kids, 8 of them boys. I asked her how did she do it?

    "Try not to watch too much, it just keeps you awake at night."
    If you stand up and be counted, from time to time you may get yourself knocked down. But remember this: A man flattened by an opponent can get up again. A man flattened by conformity stays down for good. ~ Thomas J. Watson, Jr.

  3. #3
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    Array ppkheat's Avatar
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    May 2007
    Yep, I have seen this before but forgot about it, thanks for the rerun, I just emailed it to my daughter who has her first child, my grandson, who is now15 months old. I suspect he'll accomplish all 25 items before he's two.
    Helpful hints on pushing back and strengthening the 2A:

  4. #4
    VIP Member Array goldshellback's Avatar
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    May 2007
    Back home in Louisiana !!!!
    Brake fluid and clorox.......?


  5. #5
    VIP Member Array glock27mark's Avatar
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    Dec 2006
    clinton township

    brake fluid/clorox

    Quote Originally Posted by goldshellback View Post
    Brake fluid and clorox.......?

    im bored, ill try it.
    (SHERIFF BUFORD T. JUSTICE) "what the hell is
    the world coming too"



  6. #6
    Senior Member Array A1C Lickey's Avatar
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    Jun 2005
    Quote Originally Posted by glock27mark View Post
    im bored, ill try it.
    You know...I just did a brake job on my truck....I'm pretty sure I still have the excess brake fluid.....

    Now where did that camera go?
    TSgt. Lickey

    It takes a college degree to break'em;
    and a high school education to fix'em!

  7. #7
    Member Array 22RSSIX's Avatar
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  8. #8
    VIP Member Array friesepferd's Avatar
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    east TN
    nice! looks like fun
    Wo die Notwehr aufhört, fängt der Mord an
    (Murder begins where self-defense ends)
    Georg Büchner

  9. #9
    Senior Member Array DrLewall's Avatar
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    Drakes Creek, AR
    Quote Originally Posted by 22RSSIX View Post
    Suggest NOT holding this stuff in your hand! Ask me how I know!

  10. #10
    Senior Member Array cmidkiff's Avatar
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    Jan 2005
    Kansas City, Missouri
    My Mom has 7 brothers... and they were raised in the middle of nowhere, West Virginia. She tells me that her Mom always said the most important thing to have handy is a can of turpentine.

    She used turpentine to treat everything from sore muscles up to and including a wound caused when an axe glanced off the splitting block and into a calf muscle. From what I'm told, it hurts like (heck), but does indeed prevent infection. I know I wouldn't want to try it myself ;)
    Liberty is an inherently offensive lifestyle. Living in a free society guarantees that each one of us will see our most cherished principles and beliefs questioned and in some cases mocked. It's worth it.

  11. #11
    VIP Member Array artz's Avatar
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    LOL.... those are good.
    " Refuse to be a victim, make sure there is a round chambered ! "

    Just call me a pessimistic optimist !

    U.S. Navy vet 1981-1992

  12. #12
    VIP Member Array aus71383's Avatar
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    Jan 2007
    Do you have to use the dry Clorox? I've only got the liquid stuff. No brake fluid on hand :-(

    Those things all sounded pretty outrageous - maybe I'm in for a rude awakening, but as of this moment I don't think my boys (aren't born yet) will do very many of those things. The first will learn the hard way, the rest will act right out of fear. (Or so I hope)


  13. #13
    Senior Member Array ridurall's Avatar
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    Nov 2007
    SW Oklahoma
    I was watching one of those "survivor guy" episodes and he started a fire on a rhino turd with Potassium permanganate and Glycerine. I couldn't help myself had to do it. Couldn't find the potassium permanganate in town so I got it from Ebay and found I had to mix a little 90% alcohol with the glycerine. Wow does it make a great fire though. I keep a batch in my hunting kit in a couple of pill cases for emergency now. I think I'll leave the brake fluid and clorox alone though. I do have the dry stuff for the pool though, hhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmm
    Life member NRA since 1983
    I carry a Colt Delta Elite 10mm in Milt Sparks VM2 with 2 extra magazines on my belt. This is normally worn on a belt under my bib overalls and works great for me. My wife carries a Walther PPS .40 w/Crossbreed holster.

  14. #14
    Member Array aepilotjim's Avatar
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    Nov 2006
    Tulsa OK
    The last one got me.

  15. #15
    VIP Member
    Array srfl's Avatar
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    Sep 2005
    Very funny stuff!
    USAF: Loving Our Obscene Amenities Since 1947

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