This is a discussion on Raising Boys! within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; OK - more internet stuff - so probably old to many but - for the few who may not have seen this I pass it ...
January 17th, 2008 12:22 PM
OK - more internet stuff - so probably old to many but - for the few who may not have seen this I pass it on ....... some mentions are true classics
THE TRUTH ABOUT RAISING BOYS
a) For those who have grown children - this is hysterical!
b) For those who have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:
"Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):"
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat , you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (e ven double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Chris - P95
NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.
"To own a gun and assume that you are armed
is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."
- a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.
January 17th, 2008 12:27 PM
My mother in law raised 9 kids, 8 of them boys. I asked her how did she do it?
"Try not to watch too much, it just keeps you awake at night."
If you stand up and be counted, from time to time you may get yourself knocked down. But remember this: A man flattened by an opponent can get up again. A man flattened by conformity stays down for good. ~ Thomas J. Watson, Jr.
January 17th, 2008 01:04 PM
Yep, I have seen this before but forgot about it, thanks for the rerun, I just emailed it to my daughter who has her first child, my grandson, who is now15 months old. I suspect he'll accomplish all 25 items before he's two.
Turn the election's in 2014 to a "2A Revolution". It will serve as a 1994 refresher not to "infringe" on our Second Amendment. We know who they are now.........SEND 'EM HOME. Our success in this will be proportional to how hard we work to make it happen.
January 17th, 2008 01:18 PM
Brake fluid and clorox.......?
"Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008
(Sometimes) "a fight avioded is a fight won." ... claude clay
January 17th, 2008 02:07 PM
(SHERIFF BUFORD T. JUSTICE) "what the hell is
the world coming too"
NRA LIFE MEMBER
U.S. ARMY FT.SILL, OKLA.
January 17th, 2008 02:14 PM
It takes a college degree to break'em;
and a high school education to fix'em!
January 17th, 2008 02:48 PM
January 17th, 2008 03:03 PM
Wo die Notwehr aufhört, fängt der Mord an
(Murder begins where self-defense ends)
January 17th, 2008 03:04 PM
Suggest NOT holding this stuff in your hand! Ask me how I know!
Originally Posted by 22RSSIX
January 17th, 2008 03:08 PM
My Mom has 7 brothers... and they were raised in the middle of nowhere, West Virginia. She tells me that her Mom always said the most important thing to have handy is a can of turpentine.
She used turpentine to treat everything from sore muscles up to and including a wound caused when an axe glanced off the splitting block and into a calf muscle. From what I'm told, it hurts like (heck), but does indeed prevent infection. I know I wouldn't want to try it myself ;)
Liberty is an inherently offensive lifestyle. Living in a free society guarantees that each one of us will see our most cherished principles and beliefs questioned and in some cases mocked. It's worth it.
January 17th, 2008 04:00 PM
January 17th, 2008 04:27 PM
Do you have to use the dry Clorox? I've only got the liquid stuff. No brake fluid on hand :-(
Those things all sounded pretty outrageous - maybe I'm in for a rude awakening, but as of this moment I don't think my boys (aren't born yet) will do very many of those things. The first will learn the hard way, the rest will act right out of fear. (Or so I hope)
January 17th, 2008 04:40 PM
I was watching one of those "survivor guy" episodes and he started a fire on a rhino turd with Potassium permanganate and Glycerine. I couldn't help myself had to do it. Couldn't find the potassium permanganate in town so I got it from Ebay and found I had to mix a little 90% alcohol with the glycerine. Wow does it make a great fire though. I keep a batch in my hunting kit in a couple of pill cases for emergency now. I think I'll leave the brake fluid and clorox alone though. I do have the dry stuff for the pool though, hhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmm
Life member NRA since 1983
I carry a Kimber Ultra Carry II in a Crossbreed SuperTuck. My wife carries a Walther PPS .40 w/Crossbreed holster.
January 17th, 2008 10:34 PM
January 17th, 2008 10:53 PM
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