Another Critter Post

This is a discussion on Another Critter Post within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I've been way busy so I just had a chance to sit, read and finally post some. Scot's Skunk story is great and hard to ...

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 23

Thread: Another Critter Post

  1. #1
    VIP Member
    Array Miggy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Miami-Dade, FL
    Posts
    6,258

    Another Critter Post

    I've been way busy so I just had a chance to sit, read and finally post some. Scot's Skunk story is great and hard to beat but I did have an encounter with nature this week.

    My house is small with no garage and within an association so I keep my work area on the back porch and everything covered with plastic tarps or grill covers. Last Wednesday I went to my workbench to get a screwdriver so I remove the tarp, open the first drawer about a couple of inches and I find it full of leaves, twigs & pieces of paper.

    I know, those of you who are country saavy would have caught immediately on but yours truly is a city boy so I stood there wondering how in the heck all that stuff got in there. I pull the drawer farther out and I feel resistance, kinda soft like a sponge was blocking the drawer. Again I go "what the heck?". The I see this ugly, small & repulsive pink claw coming from under all that stuff followed by an ugly long Grey tail...... POSSUM!!!!!! AGHHHHH!!!!!! A darn possum is nesting on my screwdrivers! Next thing I hear is this Evil BG hissing or whatever is that they do at me and man I lost it: You do not nest on my tools, you do not threaten me, you are going to go sleep with the fishes!

    I star opening and closing the drawer violently and suddenly the resistance was gone. I suspected the PBG (Possum BadGuy) might have dropped to the lower drawers so I got a 3 foot long metal rod and carefully started to check every drawer while thinking about how convenient suppressed weapon would be in an event like this. The PBG was not in any of the drawers so I carefully slice the pie around one side of the work bench and then the other... Voila! the sucker was hiding on the rear of the bench and again hissed at me.
    That did it! I had to get rid of the darn thing so I devised a shorter version of those sticks with ropes you see animal control use and went after the PBG. After about 10 minutes of me getting the loop close, the PBG avoiding it, the PBG hissing even harder and me screaming like a little girl, I looped its head and pulled tight. Boy that thing started to buck and whatnots. I just kept pulling harder and harder trying to get it out of the rear of the bench till PBG gave away.

    PBG still twisting and turning and now I realized that I did not think all the way through: I have a ticked off possum in my hands and how the heck I am gonna get rid of it? I can't just let it go, I don't know if it will come after me. So I am musing possible course of action when the PBG stops acting up and just hangs there.

    Now, I know I am a city boy but Mama Miggy did not raise any fools and I have heard the expression "playing 'possum" and since I had the original item in my hands I thought I better hold on to it for a while longer. I called upon my wife to come out but somehow she developed a grave case of deafness because no matter how loud I called her, she would not come out.

    So I am there in the middle of my porch, all alone facing a nasty enemy and totally lost on what to do next. All of the sudden the foulest of smells hits me and I realized that PBG had lost control of its bodily functions. I start to feel sick to my stomach and the only thing I could do was to run down to the lake's edge and toss the sucker with all my might into the water.

    PBG never came back up so I am guessing I sorta overdid the choke hold. Also the choke tool was made out of a piece of curtain string and a flat rod that was used to secure the drawers of my workbench and since metal does not float regularly, I am thinking PBG is nicely anchored at the bottom of the lake.

    The aftermath is still hitting us. After 2 gallons of bleach, the smell still lingers on the back porch floor. It was also a shock that there is more smell coming out of my work bench (and it came as a nasty surprise, I was not expecting it and got a good breathe of it) so I am this close to get the plumbling torch and "disinfect" all the hard and nasty way.

    I hate possums!
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

  2. Remove Ads

  3. #2
    VIP Member Array goldshellback's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    OKC; by way of St. Mayberry, GA
    Posts
    4,750
    That is a great story Miggy! I mean thet's FUNNY!
    "Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008

    (Sometimes) "a fight avioded is a fight won." ... claude clay

  4. #3
    VIP Member Array artz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    2,351
    Rotflmao ! LOL...that was good... HaHa !
    " Refuse to be a victim, make sure there is a round chambered ! "

    Just call me a pessimistic optimist !

    U.S. Navy vet 1981-1992

  5. #4
    VIP Member Array friesepferd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    east TN
    Posts
    2,341
    poor poor possum

    .... just kidding.
    Wo die Notwehr aufhört, fängt der Mord an
    (Murder begins where self-defense ends)
    Georg Büchner

  6. #5
    VIP Member Array swiftyjuan's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Madera, CA
    Posts
    2,488
    Thanks Miggy, you made my evening!
    John
    Assault is a behavior, not a device.

    "Don't never take no shortcuts." Patty Reed, Donner Party

    Lifetime NRA member

  7. #6
    VIP Member Array AZ Husker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Phoenix
    Posts
    4,244
    Granny and Jethro would've cooked him up with some collard greens...

  8. #7
    VIP Member
    Array Miggy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Miami-Dade, FL
    Posts
    6,258
    Quote Originally Posted by AZ Husker View Post
    Granny and Jethro would've cooked him up with some collard greens...
    AGHHHHH!!

    I cannot fathom the idea of that animal served as food
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

  9. #8
    VIP Member Array AZ Husker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Phoenix
    Posts
    4,244
    Yep, giant grey rat.

  10. #9
    VIP Member Array BigEFan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Central California
    Posts
    2,045
    I've seen some around here that make a lot of dogs look small. I absolutely hate them.
    Lex et Libertas — Semper Vigilo, Fortis, Paratus, et Fidelis!

    "Not only do the people who put their lives on the line to protect the rest of us deserve better, we all deserve better than to have our own security undermined by those who undermine law enforcement." -Thomas Sowell

  11. #10
    Moderator
    Array Rock and Glock's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Colorado at 11,650'
    Posts
    12,382
    Great story for early in the morning! Start the day out with a belly laugh that just rolls on!

    That hissing sound is something else, eh?

    Thanks!

  12. #11
    Distinguished Member Array kazzaerexys's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    1,838
    Hilarious. My brother's g/f had put out a humane trap to snare one of the local feral cats, in the hopes of taking it in for spaying. Well, sure enough, she caught something---as it was reported, a very 'funny looking cat' with the little pink paws and long grey tail. At the point she decided to try and shake it loose from the trap, the rest of the story runs pretty much like yours, including the incredibly foul byproducts!

  13. #12
    Moderator
    Array RETSUPT99's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Central Florida
    Posts
    44,644
    Miggy,

    I'm sending your name to PETA...throwing that critter out on the street during this 'cold' Florida weather is heartless...
    The last Blood Moon Tetrad for this millennium starts in April 2014 and ends in September 2015...according to NASA.

    ***********************************
    Certified Glock Armorer
    NRA Life Member[/B]

  14. #13
    Assistant Administrator
    Array P95Carry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    South West PA
    Posts
    25,482
    Lovely account Miggy - grin wrinkles accompanied the whole read

    When you see what they'll eat it's not surprising they are so stinky.
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  15. #14
    VIP Member
    Array Miggy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Miami-Dade, FL
    Posts
    6,258
    I am seriously considering a suppressed long gun, a full NBC kit and body armor including puncture & cut resistant gloves for the next time I have to face one of these suckers.
    And they are ugly to boot.
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

  16. #15
    Member Array rmarcustrucker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Twinsburg, Ohio
    Posts
    323
    oooooh....you all are gonna be getting a letter from the UFADP.
    United Frontier Against the Drowning of Possum....or PITA.... wonder, do possum make good jackets?
    If you throw a possum in the water and your not around, does it still make a splash? Cute storie, next time video tape the darn thing.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Similar Threads

  1. Critter pics / Pet Thread: Dial Up Beware
    By P95Carry in forum Off Topic & Humor Discussion
    Replies: 343
    Last Post: October 31st, 2011, 12:01 PM
  2. Two legged critter in the garage...
    By TheSaiga308 in forum Carry & Defensive Scenarios
    Replies: 58
    Last Post: November 24th, 2010, 08:47 PM
  3. Backyard Critter Disposal-Ideas?
    By miklcolt45 in forum General Firearm Discussion
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: February 3rd, 2009, 08:52 PM
  4. Range critter
    By Miggy in forum Off Topic & Humor Discussion
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: September 16th, 2008, 12:20 PM
  5. So what caliber would you use on this critter?
    By exposurecontrol in forum Off Topic & Humor Discussion
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: April 17th, 2006, 05:40 PM

Search tags for this page

walther pps army paratrooper.org

Click on a term to search for related topics.