Do you ever relax out in public?

Do you ever relax out in public?

This is a discussion on Do you ever relax out in public? within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I noticed last night when I took the wife out for dinner that I don't relax in public any longer. I used to be able ...

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Thread: Do you ever relax out in public?

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array dunndw's Avatar
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    Jul 2006

    Do you ever relax out in public?

    I noticed last night when I took the wife out for dinner that I don't relax in public any longer. I used to be able to sit back and Now...not so much. I seem to be always looking around constantly. It might have been worse last night as the state of TN is afraid of my 1911 jumping off my hip, running into the kitchen, hopping in the beer cooler and getting drunk and crazy so my 1911 was in the car.

    Honestly I kind of miss being "sheepie" every now and then. Like my wife said...ignorance is bliss. I was watching another couple and their 3 kids...they had no idea the waitress was even at their table until she cleared her throat.

    Now...time to go shooting with my brother...who is SLOWLY becoming a sheepdog which is a BIG deal. I don't remember if I posted about him before or not; he was standing right next to a cousin of mine a long long time ago when the cousin was playing around with my fathers service revolver and shot himself in the head, killing him instantly. My brother wanted nothing to do with guns after that. I FINALLY talked him into shooting with me before Christmas; now he called ME this week and wanted to go again. He's also talking about picking up a SR9
    I told him that I honestly didn't think he was ready to have a gun right now...but I'd help him GET ready. he's one of the main reasons I'm thinking about talking one of the instructors I know up on the offer of taking instructor classes and becoming certified to train others.
    Not to mention when a ex Green Beret who went on to become a LEO asks you if you ever thought about's a boost to your ego
    "If I was an extremist, our founding fathers would all be extremists," he said. "Without them, we wouldn't have our independence. We'd be a disarmed British system of feudal subjectivity."

  2. #2
    Array SIXTO's Avatar
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    Oct 2006
    Sure I do, being aware and all that should be playing in the backround, always on but never taking over your life. Live and enjoy your life, if not, the bg aready won without even trying.
    "Just blame Sixto"

    I reserve the right to make fun, point and laugh etc.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Array jframe38's Avatar
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    Sep 2007
    You can still have fun and just keep your awareness level up.
    Sorry to see that you cousin's accident cost him his life. However it really would be a shame if your brother never bothered to get involved with firearms because of that incident.
    It would be a bigger shame if he would be in a situation where he would regret not being able to protect himself or the people he loved.
    Take him shooting and maybe down the road get him to take a class and who knows, you may have a lifetime shooting partner.
    Last edited by jframe38; February 2nd, 2008 at 09:49 PM. Reason: add info

  4. #4
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Jul 2006
    I've rarely been "uptight" in public, so am relaxed almost all the time. But I don't ever go blindly or unaware. What minor changes I made to my routine have long since become a part of me, such that there's no stress about maintaining a constant, low-grade vigil at all times. With long-ingrained steps like planning ahead, seating arrangements, driving technique, some randomization of routes taken and the like, it all ends up being the way to do things, with no greater stress than anything else.

    Keeping focused on the goal is important, as Sixto suggested: live your life and enjoy your life, else the gremlins have won.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: Why the Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).

  5. #5
    Senior Member Array Shadowsbane's Avatar
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    Mar 2007
    North Carolina
    For a good part of my life I grew up in a "town" of 150 people. Now I live in downtown Raleigh. So for that reason alone I never really relax. Probably should at least somewhat.
    Now, we must all fear evil men. But there is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Array purple88yj's Avatar
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    Jun 2006
    Piedmont Triad, NC
    About the only place I relax at all is at home. I do go a bit pale yellow at work sometimes, but not to the point of complete "sheepishness".

    When I am out solo or with the family, I am in a state of preditory observation, especially considering that NC doesn't allow (like TN) me to carry in an alcohol serving establishment.
    "A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... And how many want out." British Prime Minister Tony Blair

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Array sojourner's Avatar
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    Nov 2005
    The best time for me to TOTALLY relax in public is when I am with a bunch of other like minded people usually right after an action shoot or training or range session. I especially like it when we go out to eat afterwards. Everyone is packing, everyone is keyed up on SA, no-one wants the seat that is not facing the door. Real or imagined threats are abounding everywhere. I just take the seat where my back is to the door, let my guard down and relax and enjoy. All I do is notice the facial expressions of the people across the table from me.

  8. #8
    Distinguished Member Array Ghettokracker71's Avatar
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    Jun 2007
    Under a rock.
    Agreed ^ tonight I was out downtown areas until not even an hour ago (its 3 am) and another guy I was with was CCW'ing a .45ACP Taurus, fiancee,and other two folks both had rather serious folders and flashlights on them,so I did feel somewhat more 'relaxed'.

    "To blame a gun for a mans decision is to foolishly attribute free will to an inanimate object"- Colion Noir.

  9. #9
    Member Array target1911's Avatar
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    Apr 2007
    Ft Worth TX
    Quote Originally Posted by ccw9mm View Post
    I've rarely been "uptight" in public, so am relaxed almost all the time. But I don't ever go blindly or unaware. What minor changes I made to my routine have long since become a part of me, such that there's no stress about maintaining a constant, low-grade vigil at all times.

    Keeping focused on the goal is important, as Sixto suggested: live your life and enjoy your life, else the gremlins have won.


    Ride hard and Shoot safe

    The first rule of gunfighting should be to know when the gunfight starts - being the last one to get the news certainly won't put the odds in your favor.

  10. #10
    Lead Moderator
    Array rocky's Avatar
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    Jan 2005
    As said, SA doesn't rule my thoughts, it's just a almost unconcious state of mind while awake.
    "In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock." Thomas Jefferson

    Nemo Me Impune Lacesset

  11. #11
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    Array Miggy's Avatar
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    Miami-Dade, FL
    dunn, what you are missing is not relaxation but living without the responsibility of caring for your own defense. With that said, you should give yourself a chance to trust your brain. You cannot be 100% consciously aware of everything around you all the time and you should let your "subconscious" (or Gut Feelings or whatever you want to call it) take over. You learn to manage your mind.

    Take for example your driving. You focus your concentration on what is in front of you but you subconsciously check your mirrors and look sideways at other traffic. If something stands out, your conscious mind takes over and you make necessary corrections or take evasive actions. When the event or threat passes, you resume your normal driving (In south florida you must engage in at least one minute of cussing the other driving before returning to normal driving patterns) and you focus again on what's ahead.

    The same applies when you go out. If you are lucky you chosen a spot where you can have a visual command of the area, have analyzed entrances & exits, possible routes of escape, hard covers, etc. After that you can engage in "normal" behavior and just give quick glances to your surrounding every so often to check for anomalies. If something looks fishy, your brain-gut feeling will tell you and your level of awareness will kick in.

    Of course this will not happen immediately just as checking mirrors and your sides while driving did not happen overnight, it takes a bit of practice but it will come soon enough. Of course if you are a crappy driver, I am falling on deaf eyes!

    And what sojourner says is also true. I do relax more in the company of fellow shooters who are CCW but my "scanning" is so imprinted that I still will do my sweeps no matter what. I am more relaxed in the sense that I have other people with guns around me that are as aware as me and may catch something I might missed and have the tools to fix it.
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

  12. #12
    Ex Member Array F350's Avatar
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    Jan 2005
    Rocky Mountain High in Colorado
    SA should be like a virus scan program running on your computer, always there, but not noticed till something happens. I relax in restaurants, read the paper (always folded in half so I can see over it) over breakfast etc, BUT I face the door from a table as far away from the door as possible and frequently scan the room and out a window if there is one. That way I can rely on the panicked reaction of the sheep as a warning if I am not scanning when something happens.

  13. #13
    Distinguished Member Array aznav's Avatar
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    Harrisonburg, VA
    Not since joining Defensive Carry!

  14. #14
    Senior Member Array bobcat35's Avatar
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    Aug 2007
    im most relaxed on the rifle range when im up to shoot. thats the most relaxed i get. everything is in its place except for a few rounds wich are about to begin a 300M journey to where i want them. its relaxing, its cheaper than therapy, and if some decent sized critter wanders onto the range... well im leaving with a full belly.
    "Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result."
    -Winston Churchill
    Every well-bred petty crook knows: the small concealable weapons always go to the far left of the place setting.
    -Inara, firefly

  15. #15
    VIP Member Array David in FL's Avatar
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    Nov 2007
    Central Florida

    You can be relaxed and vigilant at the same time.

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