Closed out match

This is a discussion on Closed out match within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I am on eHarmony. I got matched up with a young lady in Kalifornistan. She works for the Dept. of Justice. We get 1/2 through ...

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Thread: Closed out match

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array ExactlyMyPoint's Avatar
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    Closed out match

    I am on eHarmony. I got matched up with a young lady in Kalifornistan. She works for the Dept. of Justice.

    We get 1/2 through the communication stage which generally means she likes what is in my profile and doesn't run away screaming after looking at my picture. At this point, I get to ask her 3 questions. In one of those questions I asked, "Since you work for the Department of Justice, I was wondering what you thought of the Second Amendment." The next thing I know, she closes out the match.

    Hmmmmm.
    Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.

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  3. #2
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    You had three questions, and you chose that? I'm a blunt and direct type of person too, but jeese. Did you want to scare her off? Lesson learned I guess.
    "Just blame Sixto"

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    Senior Member Array Pete Zaria's Avatar
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    Maybe it just freaked her out that, out of all the possible things you could have asked her, you chose to use gun control as one of your questions. She was expecting personal things - how big is her family, what kind of music does she like, etc... ?

    Keep looking, there are still a few good ones out there I hear.

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    Pete Zaria.
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    VIP Member Array ExactlyMyPoint's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SIXTO View Post
    You had three questions, and you chose that? I'm a blunt and direct type of person too, but jeese. Did you want to scare her off? Lesson learned I guess.
    You never can tell. Everyone is looking for different things in a soul mate. In my profile I state: "I am a Christian, conservative, right wing, wacko, nut job. Just so you know."

    Amazingly, I get closed out a bunch. But these are woman I would not have anything in common with anyways. Why waste my time on them? I would rather they know up front. And the ones I do meet, they actually are glad I say that and like it. (I met one who was a range officer. Unfortunately, it didn't work out.)
    Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.

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    Senior Member Array Pete Zaria's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by exactlymypoint View Post
    You never can tell. Everyone is looking for different things in a soul mate. In my profile I state: "I am a Christian, conservative, right wing, wacko, nut job. Just so you know."

    Amazingly, I get closed out a bunch. But these are woman I would not have anything in common with anyways. Why waste my time on them? I would rather they know up front. And the ones I do meet, they actually are glad I say that and like it. (I met one who was a range officer. Unfortunately, it didn't work out.)
    You have a valid point here - but even if the women you're meeting are right-wing conservative gun nuts too, odds are they want a guy that shows some sensitivity and interest in her, and using gun control for one of your 3 questions probably comes off the wrong way. Next time try holding that off until the next round of questions maybe?

    I'm curious how the matchmaker thing works out, anyway. I've always joked about those sites but maybe I've been wrong.

    Peace,
    Pete Zaria.
    Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
    - Margaret Mead


    "Booger Hook Off the Bang Switch" - unknown

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    I see your point, but I agree with Pete. Its kinda funny though, the eHarmony commercial is on as I type this.

    I know a lot of happy couples who disagree in politics etc. I kinda wish I had someone to argue and debate with at home.
    "Just blame Sixto"

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    Sometimes I wish I didn't, life would be allot simpler.

    In truth though I have a great wife, who is a good mom, and trusted companion. She's not too bad a shot either. Good luck in your search!
    Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
    I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference.

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    Post Suggestion

    Do yourself a huge favor and remove wacko & nut job from your profile.

    Because while we joke around about those two terms (as shooters and gun owners) they are actually originally highly derogatory terms given to "gun rights" supporters/advocates and conservatives and Christians by the Activist Liberal Left.

    And while many conservatives and/or pro 2nd Amendment people "get it" - many females who might otherwise be suitable for you might not initially "get it" at all.

    You are presenting yourself in an extremely self limiting manner where half the females who might otherwise be interested in you are passing you right up without even considering you.

    That would be because the vast majority of females do not want to even chance having any sort of wacko or nut job involved in their lives.

    And my best guess is that you're really not insane so WHY on Earth would you put that in an introductory profile when you are trying to meet somebody that you are (or might be) compatible with?

    If you are serious about trying find somebody then you should try to present yourself in the best light possible.

    Of Course...be honest but, also you have an obligation to yourself to make yourself easily understood since you are trying to meet another person who really does not know you at all.

    Also...are you shopping for a potentially loving relationship or are you shopping for 2nd Amendment militia group to join?
    Sounds to me like the second rather than the other and you come across as your own worst enemy.
    Just my personal opinion.
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  10. #9
    VIP Member Array ExactlyMyPoint's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by QKShooter View Post
    Do yourself a huge favor and remove wacko & nut job from your profile.
    You guys give great advice and this is no different.

    So just to clarify a bit:

    I have been on eHarmony for about 18 months. I think it is the best around. My profile has evolved over that time and I am constantly updating/improving it. I have gotten many, many compliments from women on my profile. Or I also get closed out because some women just aren't looking for a non-liberal. No problem. I married a liberal woman and it was a struggle at times. Don't want to do it again. That wacko, nut job statement is toward the end of a very uplifting profile. I really don't want any surprises so I get it out of the way at the beginning.

    Although I never thought of it the way you present it QKShooter, you have a point. It is in there because I heard it somewhere and it was an all inclusive thing. Sort of rolls off the tongue. When you say it as a whole, people know who you are and they can make a decision if that is what they want or not. No games.

    So if there are any available woman on this forum.....ah, but I digress.
    Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.

  11. #10
    VIP Member Array aus71383's Avatar
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    Maybe next time you can bring your three questions over here to get proof read ahead of time...? I imagine there's enough in your profile you shouldn't have to mention politics or individual rights the first chance you get to start a conversation with her. Personality and feeling oriented questions may get you better results. Remember - you're trying to find somebody - but someone is also trying to find you. So, its not a trial, its a search. Plus there's emotions and sensitivity to keep in mind....

    Austin

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    VIP Member Array Supertac45's Avatar
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    Agree with some proof reading of your 3 questions. I suggest somthing like: What is the main differance between a Baer and a Sig?; Which has a wood stock, the AR-15 or M1A?; What type of weapon did James Bond use?
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  13. #12
    Distinguished Member Array kazzaerexys's Avatar
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    Just so happens I met my current g/f through eHarmony. I think if I had mentioned guns up front it probably would have scared her away. On the other hand, getting to know first that I am a reasonably responsible human being let me bring up shooting and guns in a positive way, and she now likes to go to the range with me.

    Don't get me wrong---I certainly understand the temptation to get all the things that might cause serious incompatibilities out in the open. On the other hand, some of those issues may have more to do with trusting the person involved than with the actual issue itself...

    (I did not, in fact, put "Gun-loving wacko who is into fantasy role-playing games" in my profile. )
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  14. #13
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    Don't ask those kinds of questions up front...you could change your middle name to Rkba (tell her it's from Polish roots)...if she gets it, you're all set...if not, no harm done!
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  15. #14
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    Ditto Ditto

    Great Advice. Pay attention to it.

    Quote Originally Posted by aus71383 View Post
    Remember - you're trying to find somebody - but someone is also trying to find you. So, its not a trial, its a search. Plus there's emotions and sensitivity to keep in mind....

    Austin
    Liberty Over Tyranny Μολὼν λαβέ

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    Senior Member Array CEW58's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by exactlymypoint View Post
    I am on eHarmony. I got matched up with a young lady in Kalifornistan. She works for the Dept. of Justice.

    We get 1/2 through the communication stage which generally means she likes what is in my profile and doesn't run away screaming after looking at my picture.
    It wasn't the same picture you use as your Avatar was it?
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