You might be a gun nut if.......

You might be a gun nut if.......

This is a discussion on You might be a gun nut if....... within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I know that half this applies to me. These are but a few. Please add more You might be a gun nut if..... -you see ...

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Thread: You might be a gun nut if.......

  1. #1
    Member Array Magilla82ABN's Avatar
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    Bragg, NC----Knoxville, TN

    You might be a gun nut if.......

    I know that half this applies to me.

    These are but a few. Please add more

    You might be a gun nut if.....

    -you see pictures of war on T.V. and all you can think about is that you want to be there so you can pick up the BRASS.
    -your only criteria for renting a video is what guns it might have in it.
    -you have spent more on guns in the last 6 months than you did on your wifes engagement ring.
    -have traded the wife's wedding ring for a shotgun, and she let you.
    -you let your wife go out and blow all kinds of money on junk she'll never use just so she won't gripe when you buy that latest piece you really need for your collection.
    -you build a gun rack in your bedroom and it's closer to you than your wife.
    -your gun safe cost more then your dining room set.
    -you or your wife do the wash, several spent casings fall out of your rolled-up sleves. me
    -your wife/girlfrind thinks that aura of Hoppies #9 is your favorite after shave.
    -your wife threatened to leave you after finding 400 muddy shotshells soaking in the bathtub for the tenth time.
    -you buy a gun at a shop only to find out you used to own it a couple of years ago.
    -he largest gun store in your area *calls* you if they need something they can't get elsewhere.
    ~when buying a new gun, you plead with your gun shop to keep it until you have space for it.
    ~you've ever sent a scope (that was never dropped) back to Leupold for repair.
    ~factories ask *you* how well their guns hold up.
    ~Hornady's largest midwestern distributor informs you that you've bought over half of all the Vector ammo they've ever had in stock.
    ~your standard Sunday-afternoon question to guys selling surplus ammo at gun shows is "How much for all of it, so you don't have to lug it home?"
    ~you shoot enough Berdan-primed ammo that you are on a first-name basis with your local scrap metal dealer.
    ~you have a magazine loader on your key ring.
    ~you use a .32-20 casing for a pen cap.
    ~your key-ring fob is a converted .50BMG cartridge. me
    ~your collection of AR back issues, Gun digests and reloading manuals cost you a premium the last time you moved. (or maybe that is a sign that you are an OLD gun nut!)
    ~every time one of your friends goes to buy a new gun they check with you first, since you've probably had one already, and because they know you have ammo and gun parts sitting around for guns you no longer own.
    ~spend 3 days going through the SGN looking through ALL the ads to get the COMPLETE kit for a weapon and then order through the 30 or so mail order companies that are needed for this and then build it. Just because you can.
    ~you slip and almost fall out the second story bathroom window because of the Guns & Ammo you left in front of the throne.
    ~if you get a flat and realize that you've got 400 pounds of shot, a Hefty bag each of wads and empty hulls, and enough primers to re-open the main shaft of the Lost Dutchman on top of your spare tire.
    ~you take your guns out of the safe each night and handle them, just so you can wipe them off before putting them away.
    ~you keep a loaded gun hidden in every room in the house, including the bathroom and kitchen, "just in case", and then keep one on you at all times just in case someone breaks in while you're in the hallway.
    ~you named your pocket pistol "Little Guy" and your 12 guage "Big Jake."
    ~you wash your hands BEFORE taking a dump so you can take a piece of your collection in with you and not get salty sweat on the blue.
    ~you make $15 per hour at work, but spend 30 minutes on your knees at the range looking for that last piece of 40 S&W brass.
    ~you have to decide the difference between a gun nut and a firearms enthusiast? Is it 1,000 rounds per day or week?
    ~you read that "Brady II" would outlaw possession of more than 1,000 rounds of ammunition and think "I have more than that rolling around loose in the trunk of my car!", you just might be a gun nut.
    ~you could identify on sight all rifle bolt-faces as in - "that's a Ruger, that's a Savage, that's a WInchester .."
    ~you can identify gunshots from faraway as to caliber, whether from a rifle or pistol, brand of gun, grains of powder used, *what* powder and at what speed! Then you realize you can tell if it is blued or stainless.
    ~you work for the military and have more shooting experience then the guys in uniform you work with.
    ~when you go to the magazine rack, you check the Guns and Ammo cover to see if there are new guns as compared to checking the Playboy cover to see what it is offering.
    ~you have a callus on your shoulder.
    ~you're in the army reserves, and they can't figure out why every time they send you out to shoot the M60 with 100 rounds, you return with a shot-out barrel. It never dawns on them you're bringing your own ammo.
    ~you spend more time choosing which guns to bring with you on a trip, as well as holsters, and belts, than it does to pick out the clothes you will wear.
    ~you approach total strangers and ask if they're going to keep their brass, you just might be a gun nut.
    ~friends and family ask what you want for Christmas "Other than gun stuff."
    ~you've ever run out of film photographing your guns for insurance purposes.
    ~you've ever photographed your entire gun collection, but "insurance purposes" never entered your mind.
    ~you try taking one big 'family photo' of your gun collection, but just can't fit them all in one frame.
    ~you have Brownells on speed dial.
    ~if you install a speed dialing device on your gun safe~.
    ~you own a BAYONET for a gun you haven't bought yet.
    ~you buy some checkering tools, checker all your gunstocks, and then start in on the bedposts~
    ~you practiced on the bedposts first before you did the guns.
    ~the custom door lock pulls on your Jeep are .223 Rem cases and the gear shift knob is a .50 BMG.
    ~you have guns in your safe that you can't for the life of you remember how you came by.
    ~you consider it a point of honor to only buy factory ammo if you need the brass.
    ~when you hear or see the numbers 221 you automatically think "fireball", 257 you think "Roberts", 218 "Bee", 4570 "government" etc., etc. and can't stop.
    ~your pickup is subject to search at any given time because, in your state, empty cartridge cases rolling around the floor are considered probable cause
    ~your telephone number is: 223-2250 or 308-3006 or 303-3040 or some other combination of three + four digit calibers.
    ~you think there is some special significance when you glance at a clock and it shows 3:08, 3:57, 2:23, etc., no matter how many times you see it.
    ~you use a spot on the windshield as a targeting sight on that idiotic driver in front of you.
    ~you start wondering if you should spread out your ammo boxes to more evenly distribute the weight on the floor.
    ~you start eyeing the floor space around your gun vault wondering if you could fit another one there along side it.
    ~you even had the thought " I wonder what scale that little kids Animal Crackers are, compared to Regulation shilouttes?"
    ~you buy a Remington 700 BDL Varmint in .308 just to get a supply of 308 cases to make brass for your .44 Auto Mag.
    ~you carry pictures of all your guns with you at all times in order to show off your "babies".
    ~you spend more on ammo each month than on food.
    ~your guns are worth twice as much as your car.
    ~even one of your guns is worth more than your car.
    ~you list your local FFL dealer as a dependent on your tax return.
    ~a topless joint with free admission is half a mile away, and instead you drive 40 miles to the shooting range on a Saturday night.
    ~you alternate silvertips and hydra-shocks in your magazines because they look prettier that way.
    ~you guess range and windage whenever you look at road signs.
    ~the highlight of your week is discovering that 6 .40SW hollowpoints fit perfectly in a plastic 35mm film canister. (5 up/1 down in the middle).
    ~your mailbox has a Weaver Rail on top.
    ~you can't figure out why your non-shooting friends laugh when you say "Bushmaster".
    ~you drive 300 miles just to ogle (and fire) HK-MP5s (and Stens, Uzis, BMGs and whatever else shows up at Knob Creek)
    ~you go to three different gun shows within a month and your excited every single time.
    ~you're guns are cleaner than your house/apartment.
    ~you have 5 different guns being DROS'd at 3 different FFL dealers.
    ~4 local gun shops know you by name.
    ~you're friends with 90%-100% of the employee's at every one of those shops.
    ~when you stop in, the ask you questions like "how was work?", "how's the wife and kids", "we're gonna order some food, ya want in?", etc.
    ~you can wallpaper your house with old issues of Shotgun News, Gun List, Guns & Ammo, etc...
    ~you're a computer specialist and you have more issues of Shotgun News and Gun List than MacWeek and PCWeek.
    ~you bought 7 or more AK-47's just so you could have different ones from different countries (Bulgarian, Romanian, Russian, Yugoslavian, Egyptian, Chinese, etc.)
    ~you're phone number, license plate, extension at work, etc. relates to some kind of bullet caliber...ON PURPOSE.
    ~you have framed targets hanging in your bathroom, hallway, etc. with tight groups that you have shot.
    ~you can read the same issue of SGN/GL/etc. everyday until a new issues comes out.
    ~you own enough guns to arm everyone on your block.
    ~you own 4 AR-15's configured EXACTLY the same but by different manufactures (Colt, Bushmaster, Olympic Arms, Armalite, etc.) just because you can.
    ~the last 5 guns you bought are never to be fired.
    ~you'd rather have a $10,000 PSG-1 and drive a $600 car rather than drive a $10,000 car and have a $600 gun.
    ~you preach how stupid gun laws/bans are at work when you work in a predominatly ANTI-gun company.
    ~you rather ban alcohol than hi-cap clips/mags.
    ~you actually consider buying the camo sexy underwear advertised for your sweetie in some gun catalogs.
    ~you learn that in the house your buying someone committed suicide using a firearm and all your interested in is the make, model, caliber and condition of the firearm that was used.
    ~your kids, once in said house, determine that the broken window was a result of that firearms slug after it left the skull cavity of the victim, and they understand why you bought the house.
    ~your brothers-in-law only come to visit so they can shoot your guns.
    ~your gun dealer owes you $500 bucks rather than the other way around.
    ~you consider concealed carry every time you shop for clothes.
    ~you take a dolly or hand truck with you to gun shows.
    ~you buy a gun safe much larger than you think you'll ever need and still fill it up.
    ~you need yet another safe for all of the ammunition.
    ~you have to structurally reinforce your house due to this hobby.
    ~your drive to work is filled with reverie about why Ed's Red actually works.
    ~when you talk about the best piece you ever had, if you mean a pistol.
    ~you spend more on the gun accessories than the gun.
    ~you spent hours trying to design a device that hands you bullets the right side up.
    ~you identify the gun on the cover of Dillon's "Blue Press" before you ever notice the girl.
    ~the first thing you notice is that she is actually holding the gun correctly.
    ~your license plate reads: "DBL TAP"
    ~your license plate reads: "GUN NUT" and the wife's car had "GUN NUT2".
    ~you have these plates and the Sheriff stops you to ask about finding a part or to sell you a used gun.
    ~you are Canadian and have the audacity to own a gun.
    ~you spend more than the cost of a new Glock to travel to the GSSF/Glock matches on the chance that you might win one as well as to shoot at someplace new and different.
    ~you find a set of 8x57 dies and 3 boxes of brass for a good price and then spend $200 on a Persian Mauser and $99 on a Hakim to shoot the 8x57 reloads with.
    ~you have a Ruger M-77 in 7mm-08 because you had an excess 3X9 by 40 scope.
    ~you buy a used holster at a show for $5.00, and then spend a few hundred on a gun that fits it.
    ~you look in your dealer's used gun case and most of them once belonged to you.
    ~and you start buying them back.
    ~take your gun parts to work to do your customizing even though it may get you in trouble.
    ~you've ever conducted dry-fire practice while riding the porcelain ponny.
    ~if your local dealer comes to your house to shoot rather than the local range.
    ~if you collect empty cartridges that you can't use on the off hand chance that you might some day be able to trade them for something that you can use.
    ~you buy a set of grips for a pistol that you hope to get in the future.
    ~the dealer knows what you collect and calls you whenever he gets something new in (a Mk IV .455 Webley or anything Brittish).
    ~you call a friend long-distance just to discuss if a 3 gr. varience in cast bullets will effect accuracy.
    ~you were the only kid in the 8th grade who know how to field strip an MP40.
    ~you spend more time at the range on your knees in the bushes looking for corroded .25 ACP cases than shooting?
    ~you pick up even such useless items as .22 rimfire and steel Berdan primed military cases.
    ~you know they used those spent .22 cases for guilding material in swaged bullets during WWII.
    ~you stand next to shooters with semi-automatic firearms with a cardboard box, hoping to catch a few ejected empties.
    ~you concentrate more on where your .45 ACP cases are landing than on the target.
    ~you can concentrate on the target because your wife and/or kids chase the brass for you.
    ~you wander about in front of the firing line in search of that elusive 30/06 case even when others are firing.
    ~you make trips to the local range on cold, wet days just to search for a few old semi-crushed .38 Specials.
    ~you worry if you lose just ONE empty when shooting?
    ~you have cases in your pockets, car, bedroom, kitchen, office and garage at all times.
    ~your basement looks like an ammo dump.
    ~you scrounged brass before you ever owned a gun.
    ~your favorite euphemism for sex is "concealing the weapon," you just might be a gun nut.

    Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American GI. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

    Supporting hunting is not supporting the 2nd Amendment !

  2. #2
    Distinguished Member Array Gunnutty's Avatar
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    Yup, many fit!! Check my signature!!!!!
    We will be much better off when we learn to deal with things as they really are, instead of how we wish them to be!

  3. #3
    VIP Member Array havegunjoe's Avatar
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    Does watching 3 hours in a row on military snipers on the History Channel yesterday qualify me?

    Certified Instructor for Minnesota Carry Permit
    NRA Pistol and Personal Protection Insrtuctor
    Utah Permit Certified Instructor

  4. #4
    VIP Member Array friesepferd's Avatar
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    - if you read every single one of the gun nut lines and laughing knowing just about all of them are true
    - if you read some of the gun nut lines and realize that what you do is waaay worse than what is discribed

    ... guilty as charged
    Wo die Notwehr aufhört, fängt der Mord an
    (Murder begins where self-defense ends)
    Georg Büchner

  5. #5
    Member Array S3ymour's Avatar
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    Oct 2007
    Columbus, OH
    I never really thought of myself as a gun nut, just an enthusiast...but after reading this I guess I am a nut....and I don't own anywhere near the amount of guns that I would like to.
    "All war is deception" --Sun Tzu

  6. #6
    Member Array Harold Fastwaker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by havegunjoe View Post
    Does watching 3 hours in a row on military snipers on the History Channel yesterday qualify me?
    Atleast I was not the only one watching it.

  7. #7
    VIP Member Array Supertac45's Avatar
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    Michigan's U.P.
    What if, nevermind. I already know the answer. I'm beyond help.
    Les Baer 45
    Sig Man
    N.R.A. Patron Life Member

  8. #8
    Member Array Mercalf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Harold Fastwaker View Post
    Atleast I was not the only one watching it.

    How about watching the Military Channel no matter what they're showing, how bad the acting is - just to catch a glimpse of special forces weapons and explosives...
    Some people don't deserve saving.

    ....the water is almost at a boil

  9. #9
    Senior Member Array ridurall's Avatar
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    Nov 2007
    SW Oklahoma
    Future Weapons is my favorite. Just wish I could get my hands on some of that stuff. It's official though I'm a gun nut and so is my wife. She lets me get away with it and in fact the last gun we got was for her. A 1874 Shiloh Sharps 45/70 with exibition walnut stock and a $485 Baldwin Soule long range rear peep sight.
    Life member NRA since 1983
    I carry a Colt Delta Elite 10mm in Milt Sparks VM2 with 2 extra magazines on my belt. This is normally worn on a belt under my bib overalls and works great for me. My wife carries a Walther PPS .40 w/Crossbreed holster.

  10. #10
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    Array Miggy's Avatar
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    ~you own a BAYONET for a gun you haven't bought yet.
    I selected only one many that applies to me so...
    I might be a gun nut!
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

  11. #11
    Member Array mtnfreak's Avatar
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    In a place you've only dreamed of where your soul is always free...
    If the police come by on a 'welfare check' because it's been 4 days since you were last seen at...
    Law without force is impotent.
    Blaise Pascal

  12. #12
    Distinguished Member Array C9H13NO3's Avatar
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    You might be a gun nut if you have an FFL programmed in your cellphone.

    All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Array Rossman's Avatar
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    That was awesome

  14. #14
    Distinguished Member Array Dakotaranger's Avatar
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    My name is Dakotaranger and I'm a...

    One time I was looking at a gun mag. There was an ad with a .50 and a girl. As I started to drool, I showed it to my buddy. He asked if it was the gun or the girl. I never noticed the woman.

    Another you may be a gun nut if... Midway USA hires you to be their archivest because you have ALL their catoluges and can tell the price of a 1911 sear in 1985
    "[T]he people are not to be disarmed of their weapons.
    They are left in full possession of them."

    Zacharia Johnson (speech in the Virginia Ratifying Convention,25 June 1778)"The best we can hope for concerning the people at large is that they be properly armed." ~Alexander Hamilton

  15. #15
    Member Array Mercalf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ridurall View Post
    Future Weapons is my favorite. Just wish I could get my hands on some of that stuff. It's official though I'm a gun nut and so is my wife. She lets me get away with it and in fact the last gun we got was for her. A 1874 Shiloh Sharps 45/70 with exibition walnut stock and a $485 Baldwin Soule long range rear peep sight.
    How much cooler would that show be if that bald guy wasn't the host - and Hulk Hogan was? "Yea Brother!"

    Little bit OT but that guy gets on my nerves. He talks like he's on a golf course all the time, and when he's about to shoot an automatic .50 - Tiger's about to sink his last birdie... It's like a mix of a golf commentator, and that movie guy who does the coming attractions...
    Some people don't deserve saving.

    ....the water is almost at a boil

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