Old age, step-parenthood and trust (rant)

[P95Carry]

Well there's a shooting aspect here but - thought best to post on this forum. It is a bit of a rant I suppose.

All this thought we (inevitably) have right now, re greater awareness of possible SD needs, got me to thinking of family members ''helping out'' in a crisis. Sad to say I probably have to make one exclusion. Remember, this is an ole phart wrting this!

My wife is well versed in shooting, at least very adequate to be proficient and effective with her familiar platforms (revo and AK!). My step-daughter (yep - CCM cover girl ) needs some more range time but has a great (as well as pretty) head on her shoulders - I can trust her (she is 20 plus).

Now the rub - my step-son, is approaching 18 but is sadly IMO in ''punk'' category. His mother is well younger than me and so this is why I still have step-kids at home.... and with all her past woes and hassles did a pretty darned good job on the kids.

The boy tho has so many traits that make trust all but impossible (for me). I took him and a buddy to range a year or so ago - gave them a lot of education and practical experience but - would not trust him with a gun. Not so much that he can't use one effectively - heck he was hunting with his own Dad probably before out of diapers!

No - it is the fact that I cannot feel enough trust regarding reliability - meaning I guess decision-making etc. Would he be responsible under pressure - or feel it was all a game! My mistrust is due actually to many things folks might regard as minor - but he runs around with a cousin who is doing drugs at times, tho he swears he does not. He is asked to do stuff at home but rarely remembers (you know the stuff - if it ain't for him it don't matter!).

He wears his pants almost round his knees, all but shaves head (a thing I have with some young guys - may just be me seeing the ''neo-nazi'' look!) - and seems to think money grows on trees - etc, etc .... bottom line, he has a car, pleases himself plenty and IMO should be taking responsibity for his life - we are not the perpetual nipple and will not be so.

I could ramble on at great length and bore you folks rigid but anways - it is sad that I feel this lack of trust. I need to see some sign of responsibility and respect for others - not this apparent life of playing. He has potential, even I admit that but of course step-parenting is something that is often tricky - it is for me.

Over next year or so in his 13th grade, he needs to remove his cranium from out his fundamental orifice - and get things together. Nothing would please me more than that he ''see the light'', and perhaps then I could train him up to shoot well, as well as trust his judgement - no harm in hoping.

Sorry about my ''tangle length'' post (Hehe - just kiddin tangle )

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[Bud White]

Only beef i have with this is the shave your head thing.. You mean if i do the summer Bald is beautyfull shave i do every year you might think im a nazi..

Course some of my customers do must be becuse i dont shave the beard all the way off.. Other than that i understand where your comming from i wouldnt trust my neice with a guns

She started her crap tonight about do you have to put your gun on kitchen table when we eat...

The chairs at mom and dads house are nice and i dont want to damage the wood since its like a captains chair i told her yeah its not going to magically turn and shoot you


She will be 18 this year i tell ya young kids are retarded

[P95Carry]

Don't take that too literally Bud - no - I should expand on that, sorry!

I ride out with some great friends, and one guy is shaved, and I know another. It is the combinative effect of that - WITH - other traits, not as a singularity.... it's the attitude it is mixed with. If that makes sense

Summer bald is no prob but this kid does it all year round - and he is way better looking with at least some hair!

[QKShooter]

Bud...Do you hafta put your gun on the table during dinner?
Be careful that you don't spill Ketchup on it.

P95Carry ~ Trust your gut feelings.
That's really the only advice I'm qualified to give you.
Pay attention to what that internal whispering little voice is telling you.
That "little guy" is usually always right.
You know:
"Walks Like A Duck ~ Quacks Like A Duck"............

[Euclidean]

I had a friend that was falling apart like that his last year of high school.

His parents marched his little butt down to the Marine recruiter. He did not want to go for the life of him but it's the best thing that ever happened to him.

He just got back from Iraq, he has a real job, and a real career. He's also walking tall, looking good, and clean cut. Hell he's even married.

[P95Carry]

Euc - I have (we have) thought the military would be good for him and turn him round - as I said I am convinced he has considerable potential.

Right now he seems to have little or no ambition. I guess this coming remainder of his schooling will be fairly decisive one way or another.

[rstickle]

Right now he seems to have little or no ambition.

Oh, a teenage boy!

Sorry, just couldn't resist that one.

I'm glad that my kids are "up and out", neither of them are going to set the world on fire. But they are both on their own and making it, so that will have to do.

Most of them DO make it, and someday if you are lucky they will come back and tell you that they have realized you were right anout many things you made them do that they didn't want to at the time!

[Tangle]

...Sorry about my ''tangle length'' post (Hehe - just kiddin tangle )

HEY - I heard that - I'm workin' on it - quit pushin' And besides, it's a gift!

Actually P95, I can relate very well. I think I've mentioned that the court awarded us a 14 year old boy and his 15 year old sis. I took them both shooting once and they had a ball! But, like you relate, I began to see very troubling behavior and wished I'd never taken them. But also like your experience, they had been shooting and hunting with relatives before so, I didn't introduce them to shooting.

But, while they were very safe on the range, I locked up even my carry gun at night. There was mention of suicide and not living past 16 years so I made sure there was nothing ever available. And, you bet I was uncomfortable not having a gun accessible over night.

They're no longer with us, and still alive, but for me the problem ended.

Let's see, I'd better count the words before P95 does. Oops too many. Well, hey, I had a lot to say - I'm tryin' to be encouraging here. There P95, don't you feel that male bonding I can't believe I said that in public.

[Free American]

Kids are kids, and yes when you look at them sometimes you want to ask, "What are their parents doing? But sometimes, they're just being kids. I don't know the whole sotry in your case but I got custody of my kids a year ago and my ex was a real piece of work. I thought that being in a stable environment would bring about quick change. I was wrong it takes time. There is no way of knowing what this kid has gone through and what he is thinking right now. Obviously your wife divorced his father for a reason. Maybe this kid needs more range time, just you and him. Let him know somebody does care what he's doing. Just a thought, I've gone about 5 different directions getting my 2 oldest to turn their outlook on life around and it's just now starting to work.

[P95Carry]

There P95, don't you feel that male bonding

- yep - sure do bro!

Thx for comments all - I do want to get him to the range again - but guess I am waiting for some sign that he has his cranium less approximated to the ''dark zone''.

I have made so many efforts over time to involve him, help out etc - but nothing comes back thus far - that has to change.

[Tangle]

Hey P95, you know what? I heard this and it was a serious interview about teens. They said their brains are under developed for their age! I can hardly say that without laughing, but it was said as true, factual, and serious. Of course, I thought hey, everybody can tell that by just watching them.

I believe you got it P95 - patience and be ready when he's ready. I ought to charge for this stuff!

And BTY, that little critter in your post above better be sneezing and not doing what it looks like!

[P95Carry]

that little critter in your post above

Haha - just funnin ya!

[Tangle]

I knew that; didn't you see my biggrin! I was just funnin ya back!

[P95Carry]

Yep - saw that - just making sure you knew I wasn't ''like that''

P95 - straight as a 14" Contender barrel

[Tangle]

I knew that too. Like I tell my students - I'm old, I know everything. They're so young they'll actually believe it! Well actually, I'm pretty close to your age as I recall. I mean we know what 45 rpm records are don't we?