Do the math
This is a discussion on Do the math within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I hesitate to post funnies from emails as, more often than not everyone has seen them already.
I don't remember seeing this before but apologies ...
February 20th, 2008 03:25 PM
Do the math
I hesitate to post funnies from emails as, more often than not everyone has seen them already.
I don't remember seeing this before but apologies to those who have.
You Do The Math...
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all.
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot
more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing
the same thing to them at funerals.
Chris - P95
NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.
"To own a gun and assume that you are armed
is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."
- a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.
February 20th, 2008 03:25 PM
February 20th, 2008 03:33 PM
February 20th, 2008 03:56 PM
I especially liked the last one. Thanks!
"We're paratroopers. We're supposed to be surrounded!" Dick Winters
February 20th, 2008 04:00 PM
Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.
February 20th, 2008 04:09 PM
That was the laugh I needed THanks
SAPPERS BREACH BUTT NAKED
Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American GI. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.
Supporting hunting is not supporting the 2nd Amendment !
February 20th, 2008 04:13 PM
Haven't seen this one. Worse yet, it's as true as it is funny!
"Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008
(Sometimes) "a fight avioded is a fight won." ... claude clay
February 20th, 2008 04:16 PM
"It is better to live one day as a lion than a hundred years as a sheep."
- Italian proverb
February 20th, 2008 05:11 PM
I really like that one :) I'd use it myself, but I married long ago.
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Liberty is an inherently offensive lifestyle. Living in a free society guarantees that each one of us will see our most cherished principles and beliefs questioned and in some cases mocked. It's worth it.
February 20th, 2008 05:15 PM
"That I cannot do."
"Give this to, uh, Clemenza. I want reliable people, people who aren't going to be carried away. After all we're not murderers in spite of what this undertaker thinks."
Certified Glock Armorer
NRA Life Member
February 20th, 2008 05:17 PM
We will be much better off when we learn to deal with things as they really are, instead of how we wish them to be!
February 20th, 2008 05:41 PM
All very true - that's what makes them funny.
The most exhilarating thing in life is getting shot at with no results.
- Winston Churchill
Endowment Life Member - NRA
Life Member - GOA
Member - Oath Keepers, SAF, CCRKBA
U.S. Army (72G) 1975-1980
February 20th, 2008 09:53 PM
Thanks Chris, I am sending it to my wife. Wait, no I'm not!
Assault is a behavior, not a device.
"Don't never take no shortcuts." Patty Reed, Donner Party
Lifetime NRA member
February 21st, 2008 02:32 AM
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