Questioning this generations parenting skills....

This is a discussion on Questioning this generations parenting skills.... within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Let me first start this dinatribe by noting that there are good, decent parents out there. This rant applies to those who are out to ...

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Thread: Questioning this generations parenting skills....

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    Senior Member Array Barbary's Avatar
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    Questioning this generations parenting skills....

    Let me first start this dinatribe by noting that there are good, decent parents out there. This rant applies to those who are out to lunch when it comes to discipling and raising their children. I was on my way to work and stopped a local eating establishment to pick something up for dinner later that evening. I pick up my meal and pay for it. I start to go out the door and there is a little girl leaning up against the door. I say excuse me young lady I need to go out the door. She gets this evil little grin on her face. I ask her again Please excuse me young lady I need to leave. She doesn't move. Her sister then joins her , they lock arms and they grab the door frame to bar my exit. Now I love kids and don't plan to plow through them. At this point I am getting upset. The parent finally snaps out of it and says Girls move out of the way. I am sorry she says. I looked at her and said Miss some of us have to go to work and don't have time for these games. If they had been mine they would have won an all expenses paid trip to the wood shed. If people are not going to take the time to discipline and raise their children then they don't need to reproduce. Parenting is a 24/7 responsibility. I have a feeling unless things change I will either/or see these two on the local news a few years from now or see them on a post office wall. My tax dollars will pay for their court costs and incarceration. Not discipling children is in effect, not loving them. Take care of children they are our future. I apologize if I have offended anyone, this was not my intent.

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    VIP Member Array David in FL's Avatar
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    Wow........ My 8 year-old would have lost breathing privileges for something like that!

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    ree
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    Kids, you gotta love em.

    I don't suppose you've ever been a parent? ;) Tired all of the time, attention wandering from time to time. Perhaps the mom just lapsed for a moment. Perhaps she was going to woodshed them when they got home....okay wishful thinking. My point is, how can you condemn her and a whole generation for a single moment of bad behavior by little kids? C'mon.

    I used to be this way, but then I both matured some as well as had some of my own. Boy, if that doesn't wake you up a tiny bit and teach you to be a little more tolerant of kids' unpredictable behavior.

    Now maybe you were a parent. But if they never misbehaved in your presence, then either they were terrorized into not acting out, you didn't spend enough time around them, or you were in the 1% of lucky parents who have angels for kids.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ree View Post
    Kids, you gotta love em.

    I don't suppose you've ever been a parent? ;) Tired all of the time, attention wandering from time to time. Perhaps the mom just lapsed for a moment. Perhaps she was going to woodshed them when they got home....okay wishful thinking. My point is, how can you condemn her and a whole generation for a single moment of bad behavior by little kids? C'mon.

    I used to be this way, but then I both matured some as well as had some of my own. Boy, if that doesn't wake you up a tiny bit and teach you to be a little more tolerant of kids' unpredictable behavior.

    Now maybe you were a parent. But if they never misbehaved in your presence, then either they were terrorized into not acting out, you didn't spend enough time around them, or you were in the 1% of lucky parents who have angels for kids.
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    VIP Member Array Kerbouchard's Avatar
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    My wife is a H.S. Chemistry/Biology teacher and from all of her stories, I will definitely agree with the OP. It seems like more of today's parents are using the TV and the XBOX to babysit their children and depending on the teachers to teach them discipline. I don't know how many times my wife has had a parent teacher conference where the parent looked at her and asked her what she wanted her to do it about it.

    We live in a sad and declining society. Remember 15 years ago when the 'Children are the Future' campaign was so big...well, welcome to the future.
    There are two sides to every issue: one side is right and the other is wrong, but the middle is always evil.

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    Senior Member Array Barbary's Avatar
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    To understand my viewpoint allow me to expand upon this. I don't mean to appear intolerant or attacking moms. I grew up in a Christian home and got discipline when I behaved badly. This didn't always mean spanking, often it was loss of privileges. I grew up around children who the parents didn't care if they were disciplined. They were my friends, who are now in jail or dead. The last one was beaten to death with a hammer. I am one of the fortunate ones. Terrorizing my children? That's not going to happen, you must think me an incredible brute? I denoted that there are decent loving parents that care about their children in my prior post. Operative word parents. Fathers have just as much responsibility in the raising of the children as mothers do. I do not envy the life of a single parent. I know this can be very difficult because some of my friends are single parents. I say kudos to them. I came here to post a concern not to be combative towards the people of this forum. If you found my post offensive my sincerest apologies are extended.

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    No Offense taken
    “You can sway a thousand men by appealing to their prejudices quicker than you can convince one man by logic.”

    ― Robert A. Heinlein,

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    VIP Member Array Kerbouchard's Avatar
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    Barbary, I don't think any offense was taken. I think most people will agree with you. Perhaps Ree just hasn't had his morning cup of coffee, yet.
    There are two sides to every issue: one side is right and the other is wrong, but the middle is always evil.

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    ree
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    I didn't find the post combative. But, the context for the gripe in the original post was so narrow that, if it was your sole basis for complaining about today's parents, then, yes, your tolerance would be questionable. The incident you describe could have occurred with the kids of very good parents. Kids, even good ones, do questionable things from time to time. And for all you know the mom was going to give the kids a good talking to later.

    I guess this was just one of those times, where you already have your concerns about parenting, and an isolated incident pushed you into posting your frustration. I didn't get that from the original post.

    Note, I'm not excusing poor parenting at all. I'm sure that all of us can, as BerneyG has done, tell heaps of stories about absent parents and the problems it causes.

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    VIP Member Array deadeye72's Avatar
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    I agree 100%. It bothers me every time I have to go to the store for something and constantly being run over by children that think they are on a playground, while the parents are talking on a cell phone. I have two children. 9 year old son and 6 year old daughter. There is no way my children would be doing something like that because they are right beside me the entire time. Parents need to watch the news more often to realize what kind of crazy people are out there then maybe they would pay more attention to their children.
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    VIP Member Array Rob72's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ree View Post
    Now maybe you were a parent. But if they never misbehaved in your presence, then either they were terrorized into not acting out,
    Towards another (non-familial)adult? That isn't "acting out," that's manipulation/domination. Basically, the nice man was polite and so they could take advantage. Learning that one does not concede to good manners teaches one that one must concede to force(because sooner rather than later someone will knock them on their butts)...which begets more of the same.

    I used to be far more personable and genteel in interpersonal interaction, but significant experience with low-average SES groups and inmates caused me to realize that courtesy is unfortunately being taught as a sign of weakness in our society, from Family Guy to your choice of reality show. Middle-upper class is no different, but their coersion/manipulation is generally financial/reputative.

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    ree
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerneyG View Post
    Barbary, I don't think any offense was taken. I think most people will agree with you. Perhaps Ree just hasn't had his morning cup of coffee, yet.
    Something like that. However, I do know a number of people who seethe a the slightest misstep of others' children. In fact, I used to be one of them.

    While I have grown much more tolerant of kids, I haven't grown tolerant to those that hold up isolated facts to justify broad claims. Perhaps my reading comprehension is just as bad as it was when I was in school, but that's how I read the initial post.

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    VIP Member Array Kerbouchard's Avatar
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    ree, I have seen it in a lot of cases, and as I mentioned, my wife teaches at a High School and I get a lot of input from her. I overheard somebody yesterday who was upset that they were getting fined because they couldn't make their 14 year old son go to school. Perhaps it's not the parents, I don't know. I do know that when I was in school I obeyed the teachers and I know that when I did get in trouble, I got it twice; once in school and again when I got home. There does seem to be an alarming lack of respect coming from the younger generation. I personally believe absentee parenting has something to do with that.

    And Barbary, I'm 25, so technically I'm in 'this generation'...perhaps ree's comments came from the very broad title of this thread.
    There are two sides to every issue: one side is right and the other is wrong, but the middle is always evil.

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    It's all about personal responibilty


    If you look at studies of schools in poor areas (urban or rural) you find that the ones with the greatest parental involvement in that school do remarkably better as far as test scores, academic achievement, and behavior/discipline problems. The rural schools generally have better parental involvement.

    I don't know when but at some time in the last 40 years people in our western culture have started to think that it is societies responsibility to raise their children for them. We have generally lost the concept of personal responsibility/accountability (this is most evident in the politicians who reside in Washington DC). I become despondent when I think about what we are doing to ourselves
    “You can sway a thousand men by appealing to their prejudices quicker than you can convince one man by logic.”

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    ree
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    Quote Originally Posted by deadeye72 View Post
    I agree 100%. It bothers me every time I have to go to the store for something and constantly being run over by children that think they are on a playground, while the parents are talking on a cell phone....
    And lest anyone think I'm being a poor parenting apologist, I'm not. I'm equally upset when parents choose to ignore the kids.


    Quote Originally Posted by Rob72 View Post
    Towards another (non-familial)adult? That isn't "acting out," that's manipulation/domination.
    Sure. But just because a kid tries to manipulate another adult isn't indication they've been poorly parented. I'm no behavioral expert, but some kids, by nature, are just more aggressive about "exploring boundaries." My son(almost 4) behaves very well most of the time and generally knows what's right and wrong and acts accordingly, but he's always testing the waters. IMO, that the waters are being tested, that the boundaries are being pushed is not the problem. If a child didn't attempt it, I'd be concerned about their development. What is important is how I, as a parent, deal with it when he pushes too far. Of course, the right thing to do if my kid blocks the door to another adult is to discipline him in some manner.

    If the mom in the original post didn't care and didn't do anything, then yes that's a problem. All I saw (remember I've got poor reading comprehension) was [summarizing]:
    mom snaps out of it, tells kids to move, and apologizes
    I wasn't there, and her sincerity and demeanor may have all indicated she was an absent parent. But then again, perhaps there were extenuating circumstances and she should be given the benefit of the doubt.


    Quote Originally Posted by BerneyG View Post
    ree, I have seen it in a lot of cases, and as I mentioned, my wife teaches at a High School and I get a lot of input from her. ... There does seem to be an alarming lack of respect coming from the younger generation. I personally believe absentee parenting has something to do with that.

    And Barbary, I'm 25, so technically I'm in 'this generation'...perhaps ree's comments came from the very broad title of this thread.
    I'm completely behind you when you state the problem that way. And that's exactly the reason behind my original comments.

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