Things a Man Should Never Do in the Company of a Woman

Things a Man Should Never Do in the Company of a Woman

This is a discussion on Things a Man Should Never Do in the Company of a Woman within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Things a Man Should Never Do in the Company of a Woman The editors of Marie Claire advise against bad tips, blow-drying, and cleaning your ...

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Thread: Things a Man Should Never Do in the Company of a Woman

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array ExactlyMyPoint's Avatar
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    Things a Man Should Never Do in the Company of a Woman

    Things a Man Should Never Do in the Company of a Woman

    The editors of Marie Claire advise against bad tips, blow-drying, and cleaning your gun. We'll take their word for it.
    By The Editors of Marie Claire



    Reveal how much your car cost.

    Clean your gun.

    Polish high school trophies (which you still have displayed).

    Refer to your mother as your best friend.

    Rap.

    Check out our assistant/roommate/the baby-sitter.

    Question our footwear.

    Blow-dry your hair.

    Tip less than 20 percent.

    Celebrity impressions.

    Impressions of us.

    Forget to carry cash.

    Flip it, flop it, swing it around, tug on it, adjust it, scratch it, or do anything that will remind us that it's just a goofy appendage and not a mystical source of pleasure and satisfaction.

    Wii.

    Boot and rally.

    Scream—at the dog, at the guy who just stole your parking spot, at Bill Belichick. Because, no matter how much Belichick deserves it (cheater!), when we hear you raise your voice, we have an idea of what we're in for.

    Talk about former exploits. Ever.

    Use the words *****, slut, tramp, or whore, unless referring to another man.

    Tell us you're going to kiss us. (Just get on with it!)
    Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.


  2. #2
    VIP Member Array goldshellback's Avatar
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    That's funny.....and true.....but I gotta ask, whatcha doing reading Marie Claire magizine?
    "Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008

    (Sometimes) "a fight avioded is a fight won." ... claude clay

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    VIP Member Array JonInNY's Avatar
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    That is very funny, and so true, although my wife has gotten used to the gun cleaning. And, as mentioned above, what are you doing reading Marie Claire?
    "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch; Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."
    -- Benjamin Franklin

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    VIP Member Array David in FL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JonInNY View Post
    That is very funny, and so true, although my wife has gotten used to the gun cleaning. And, as mentioned above, what are you doing reading Marie Claire?
    Ah, sorry.......what is Marie Claire?

  5. #5
    VIP Member Array JonInNY's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by David in FL View Post
    Ah, sorry.......what is Marie Claire?
    Check it out here: Marie Claire
    "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch; Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."
    -- Benjamin Franklin

  6. #6
    VIP Member Array JonInNY's Avatar
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    With apologies to our women carrying forum members, maybe we should take out an ad in Marie Claire magazine, for a new perfume: "Eau du Hoppes". It might get the ladies interested in our passion (for guns, that is).
    "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch; Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."
    -- Benjamin Franklin

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    VIP Member Array Sheldon J's Avatar
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    Now wait a New York minute a man blow dry his hair??? NO way I ain't no girlie man and neither is any self respecting guy that I have ever heard of, No wait just what the H E double hockey sticks are you doing at his place just after he took a shower, now that is the dad in me kicking in.
    "The sword dose not cause the murder, and the maker of the sword dose not bear sin" Rabbi Solomon ben Isaac 11th century

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    Member Array snakatack's Avatar
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    My wife has no problems with guns or even the smell of Hoppe's # 9.

    And she probably wouldn't give a hoot if I chose to blow my hair. (crew cut)

    But what puts her running is the after effects of chili and beer.

  9. #9
    VIP Member Array David in FL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JonInNY View Post
    Check it out here: Marie Claire
    Well, there's 15 seconds of my life that I'll never get back.......

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    VIP Member Array goldshellback's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sheldon J View Post
    Now wait a New York minute a man blow dry his hair??? NO way I ain't no girlie man and neither is any self respecting guy that I have ever heard of, No wait just what the H E double hockey sticks are you doing at his place just after he took a shower, now that is the dad in me kicking in.
    I perfer "retrosexual"
    "Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008

    (Sometimes) "a fight avioded is a fight won." ... claude clay

  11. #11
    Member Array gunnerdd2's Avatar
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    the main thing my wife gets a kick out of is when the new issue of guns and ammo comes in and watches me droll

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    VIP Member Array raevan's Avatar
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    Since Marie Claire is anti gun I understand why the gun reference was there.
    So whose magazine were you reading.

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    exactlymypoint: I guess you get a "free pass" today and can post this since it is your BIRTHDAY. Happy Birthday! Enjoy it while you can.
    It is not the Bill of Privileges. It is not the Bill of Permits. It is the Bill of Rights.

    People should not be afraid of the government; the government should be afraid of the people.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Array Cap'n's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by exactlymypoint View Post
    By The Editors of Marie Claire
    Beware! Any more threads like this could put your MAN card in jeopardy.

    BTW....Happy Birthday!
    Welcome to Tennessee, the patron state of shootin' stuff.--SHOOTER

  15. #15
    VIP Member Array ExactlyMyPoint's Avatar
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    Allow me to answer that burning question.

    I was surfing the internet. I brought up my home page. On the page was this link about what guys should not do. Heck. I have been married for 15 years. I pretty much know all of them, but I figured, what the heck. So I clicked it and up came this list. I DID NOT GO SURFING TO MARIE CLAIRE'S HOME PAGE.

    Yes today is my birthday. I forget which one it is. Happens with old age. Thank you all for the birthday wishes.
    Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.

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