Tech Support

Tech Support

This is a discussion on Tech Support within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly ...

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Thread: Tech Support

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array Sheldon J's Avatar
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    Talking Tech Support

    Dear Tech Support,

    Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.

    Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

    Signed,

    Desperate

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Dear Desperate:

    First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

    Please enter the command: 'I Thought You Loved Me. exe', try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, Over-use of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or worse Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

    Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0...it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your System Resources. Also, do not attempt to reinstall The Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new Applications quickly.

    You might consider buying additional software to improve Memory and Performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

    Good Luck,

    Tech Support
    "The sword dose not cause the murder, and the maker of the sword dose not bear sin" Rabbi Solomon ben Isaac 11th century


  2. #2
    VIP Member Array deadeye72's Avatar
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    Wait, that's not funny.
    Glock 27
    BENELLI NOVA

  3. #3
    Moderator
    Array Rock and Glock's Avatar
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    Critical Upgrade

    They missed a critical warning:

    "Boyfriend 6.0 is incompatible with Husband 1.0"

    "Husband 1.0 must first be uninstalled, retaining all of the Husband 1.0 system resources by utilizing Attorney 1.0"

  4. #4
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    Array RETSUPT99's Avatar
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    Clever ...and funny ...
    The last Blood Moon Tetrad for this millennium starts in April 2014 and ends in September 2015...according to NASA.

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