Mothers to us all

Mothers to us all

This is a discussion on Mothers to us all within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I Owe My Mother ********************************** 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it ...

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Thread: Mothers to us all

  1. #1
    Member Array Golden Dragon's Avatar
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    Dec 2007

    Mothers to us all

    I Owe My Mother

    1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
    "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

    2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
    "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

    3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
    "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

    4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
    " Because I said so, that's why."

    5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
    "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

    6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
    "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you' re in an accident."

    7. My mother taught me IRONY.
    "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

    8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
    "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

    9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
    "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

    10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .
    "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

    11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
    "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

    12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
    "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

    13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
    "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

    14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
    "Stop acting like your father!"

    15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
    "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

    16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .

    "Just wait until we get home."

    17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
    "You are going to get it when you get home!"

    18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
    "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

    19. My mother taught me ESP.
    "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

    20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
    "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

    21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
    "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

    22. My mother taught me GENETICS .
    "You're just like your father."

    23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
    "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

    24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
    "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

    And my favorite:

    25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
    "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.

    RO I & II

  2. #2
    VIP Member Array ExactlyMyPoint's Avatar
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    I tell my kids about #25 ALL the time.
    Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.

  3. #3
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    Array RETSUPT99's Avatar
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    My mother (and dad)...RIP...used most of those... Come to think of it, we use most with our kids, too.
    Proverbs 27:12 says: “The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it.”

    Certified Glock Armorer
    NRA Life Member

  4. #4
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    Array rstickle's Avatar
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    #24 is also true..... It just takes a very long time! I still remember when one of my kids called and finally admitted I was right (most of the time).

    EOD - Initial success or total failure

  5. #5
    VIP Member Array glock27mark's Avatar
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    oh, how true it is. good post.
    (SHERIFF BUFORD T. JUSTICE) "what the hell is
    the world coming too"



  6. #6
    Member Array Rick H's Avatar
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    Western NY
    After I got out of my teens..........
    The older I got, the smarter my parents got.

  7. #7
    Member Array RebelKangaroo's Avatar
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    That brings back some memories. I still dread the day I have kids in case #25 really does turn out to be true!

  8. #8
    VIP Member Array HKinNY's Avatar
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    Nassau, NY(Long Island)
    I used to tell my father "When you pass away please leave me only one thing". That is your wisdom!

  9. #9
    Member Array Mercalf's Avatar
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    Central Florida
    My Mom used to tell me to shutup and stop the belly aching when I would get hurt when I was little :/

    It's a shame mothers don't exist anymore - just parents who pressure wash their kids...
    Some people don't deserve saving.

    ....the water is almost at a boil

  10. #10
    VIP Member Array raevan's Avatar
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    I am starting to believe #25 is why my son (he is 39) hasn't had any children yet. I think he really believed me. Especially after looking at all of his cousins children.

  11. #11
    Senior Moderator
    Array Rock and Glock's Avatar
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    My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
    "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
    ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ: Buy These Stickers Here

    "A man without ethics is a wild beast loosed upon the world" Albert Camus

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