NEAT! A New Element Is Discovered

NEAT! A New Element Is Discovered

This is a discussion on NEAT! A New Element Is Discovered within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; New Element Discovered A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical yet known to science. This new element has been ...

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Thread: NEAT! A New Element Is Discovered

  1. #1
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    NEAT! A New Element Is Discovered

    New Element Discovered


    A major research institution has recently announced
    the discovery of the heaviest chemical yet known to
    science. This new element has been tentatively named
    "Governmentium."

    Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons,
    75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons,
    giving it an atomic mass of 312.

    These 312 particles are held together by forces called
    morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of
    lepton-like particles called peons.

    Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.
    However, it can be detected as it impedes every
    reaction with which it comes into contact.

    A tiny amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to
    take over four days to complete when it would normally
    take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal
    half-life of four years; it does not decay but
    instead, it undergoes a reorganization in which a
    portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons
    exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will
    actually increase over time since each reorganization
    will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming
    isodopes.

    This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some
    scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed
    whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
    concentration. This hypocritical quantity is referred
    to as "Critical Morass."

    You will know it when you see it. When catalyzed with
    money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an
    element which radiates just as much energy since it
    has half as many peons but twice as many morons.


  2. #2
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    Hahaha - great!

    One sub-element I don't think mentioned is Beaurocratium - also very heavy but low on energy levels, due to no spare outer shell electrons.

    Unfortunately half-life is very long - and partly indeterminate!
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  3. #3
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    "Beaurocratium" - is that the one that seems to serve no useful purpose?

  4. #4
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    is that the one that seems to serve no useful purpose?
    Correctamundo!

    But sadly with that goes a huge syphoning of tax Dollars!
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  5. #5
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    I'm not a scientist, but I think that combining Governmentium with Beaurocratorium creates Nevergoesawaynium.
    "I surrounded 'em"- Alvin York

    "They're ain't many troubles that a man can't fix with seven hundred dollars and a thirty ought six"- Jeff Cooper

  6. #6
    VIP Member Array Bud White's Avatar
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    Lol thats pretty good

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