The best answers.

The best answers.

This is a discussion on The best answers. within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Best Answer#6 -- It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. 'What ...

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Thread: The best answers.

  1. #1
    Member Array aepilotjim's Avatar
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    Nov 2006
    Tulsa OK

    The best answers.

    Best Answer#6 --
    It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. 'What are my choices?' John asked.
    'Yes or no,' she replied.

    Best Answer #5 --
    A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'

    Best Answer #4 --
    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?' The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'

    Best Answer #3 --
    The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been w aiting for you all day,' the cop said. The kid replied, 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.' When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

    Best Answer #2 --
    A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, 'Low Bridge overhead.' Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?' The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.'

    Best Answer #1
    A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, 'May I have 50 Christmas stamps?'
    The clerk says, 'What denomination?'
    The blonde says, 'God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists.'

    Best Answer of all!
    A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
    He never heard the shot....

  2. #2
    VIP Member Array ExactlyMyPoint's Avatar
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    Sep 2006
    Portland, OR
    Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.

  3. #3
    VIP Member Array deadeye72's Avatar
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    Feb 2008
    Central Mississippi
    I like that, especially the last one.
    Glock 27

  4. #4
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    Array goawayfarm's Avatar
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    Mar 2005
    Fork Union, Virginia
    He never heard the shot....

    To quote Bugs Bunny...."What a maroon!"
    A vote is like a rifle, its usefulness is based on the character of the user -T Roosevelt

    If you carry a gun, some will call you paranoid. If I carry, what do I have to be paranoid about? -C Smith

    An unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it. -J Cooper

  5. #5
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    Array RETSUPT99's Avatar
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    Central Florida
    Thanks for the laughs...
    Proverbs 27:12 says: “The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it.”

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