Red Skelton has it nailed :)

This is a discussion on Red Skelton has it nailed :) within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I daresay this is not new to many but - tickled me like heck RED SKELTON'S -TIPS FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE 1. Two times a ...

Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Red Skelton has it nailed :)

  1. #1
    Assistant Administrator
    Array P95Carry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    South West PA
    Posts
    25,482

    Red Skelton has it nailed :)

    I daresay this is not new to many but - tickled me like heck
    RED SKELTON'S -TIPS FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE

    1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

    2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.

    3. I take my wife everywhere.....but she keeps finding her way back.

    4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in
    a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

    5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

    6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!"
    So I bought her an electric chair.

    7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me, "In the lake."

    8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

    9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"

    10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

    11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was "Always."

    12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

    13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"

    .......the good old days when humor didn't have to employ four-letter words........just clean and simple fun..
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  2. Remove Ads

  3. #2
    Member Array mtnbkr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Manassas, Va
    Posts
    102
    I sent that to my wife. She'll probably hurt me when I get home. :)

    Chris

  4. #3
    Assistant Administrator
    Array P95Carry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    South West PA
    Posts
    25,482
    She'll probably hurt me when I get home.
    You hope!!!!!!! LOL
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  5. #4
    Member Array mtnbkr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Manassas, Va
    Posts
    102
    lol. Kind of dovetails into her habit of replying to my threat "Don't make me smack you" with "ooh, affection!".

    We're not quite right ya know...

    Chris

  6. #5
    XD9
    XD9 is offline
    Member Array XD9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Somewhere in Utah
    Posts
    134
    My ex just asked for more Alimony after I sent her that. Hmm...

    j/k
    There are 2 sounds in the world that strike more fear than any others. A click when you should hear a bang and a bang when you should hear a click.

Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Similar Threads

  1. Seattle assassin nailed
    By puffer in forum Law Enforcement, Military & Homeland Security Discussion
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: November 8th, 2009, 10:31 AM
  2. Gun maker get nailed-Sort of.
    By HKinNY in forum Off Topic & Humor Discussion
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: September 20th, 2008, 01:29 PM
  3. Red Skelton's Pledge of Allegiance
    By msgt/ret in forum Off Topic & Humor Discussion
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: July 4th, 2008, 08:28 PM
  4. Red Skelton- Pledge of Allegiance
    By goawayfarm in forum Off Topic & Humor Discussion
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: July 4th, 2007, 01:35 PM