Need A Morning Chuckle?

Need A Morning Chuckle?

This is a discussion on Need A Morning Chuckle? within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I received this in a recent e-mail and thought I would share the laugh... Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were ...

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Thread: Need A Morning Chuckle?

  1. #1
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    Array RETSUPT99's Avatar
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    Need A Morning Chuckle?

    I received this in a recent e-mail and thought I would share the laugh...

    Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their Colonoscopies:


    1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!


    2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"


    3. "Can you hear me NOW?"



    4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"


    5. "You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married."


    6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"


    7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."


    8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"


    9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!


    10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."


    11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"


    12. "God, now I know why I am not gay."


    And the best one of all..


    13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?"
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  2. #2
    VIP Member Array JonInNY's Avatar
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    Very funny. But I was (blissfully) knocked out during mine, so no wise cracks (pun intended)!
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    Thats what I needed this AM.


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    VIP Member Array deadeye72's Avatar
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    Very funny. Needed that this morning. Thanks.
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    Senior Member Array Jackle1886's Avatar
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    Good good

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    VIP Member Array Sheldon J's Avatar
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    very funny
    "The sword dose not cause the murder, and the maker of the sword dose not bear sin" Rabbi Solomon ben Isaac 11th century

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    Distinguished Member Array morintp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JonInNY View Post
    Very funny. But I was (blissfully) knocked out during mine, so no wise cracks (pun intended)!
    Me too. Why would anyone want to be awake for that?

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    VIP Member Array ExactlyMyPoint's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by retsupt99 View Post
    And the best one of all..


    "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?"


    I will use that in the future for sure.
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    Senior Member Array Slim_45's Avatar
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    That was pretty funny thanks
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    Up periscope!
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    There was this young ER doctor who got really nervous whenever he had to perform a pelvic exam, so a nurse suggested he whistle to make himself at ease.

    On his next pelvic exam, the patient asked him if he was nervous.

    "Why do you ask?"

    "Because you're whistling, 'Oh I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner!'"
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    From someone that has had five colonoscopies, those are pretty good
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  13. #13
    VIP Member Array slugger6's Avatar
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    Nonsense! Whether the patient is fully or partially sedated the medication causes amnesia. The only way anyone could have, and recall, a conversation with the physician is if they were improperly sedated.
    "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

  14. #14
    Senior Member Array rangerman2003's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by morintp View Post
    Me too. Why would anyone want to be awake for that?
    i didnt have the choice they told me I had to stay awake
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    Ex Member Array FN1910's Avatar
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    I have had two and both times I woke up toward the end of it or at least I think it was toward the end. I remember watching the TV screen and saying, "Is that what it looks like up there"? Demerol-Valium combination is fantastic.

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