A friend sent me this which he probably got off of Letterman but.....
You may be a Taliban if...
1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer, wine and whiskey.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun, a $5,000 rocket launcher and $3,000 worth of Ammunition but you can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon unclean.
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared a Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your pockets.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.
10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.