Stupid is - as stupid does, even manufacturers!

This is a discussion on Stupid is - as stupid does, even manufacturers! within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Probably many folks have seen these before but some crack me right up Some products/stores are UK origin it seems. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In Honor of Stupid ...

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Thread: Stupid is - as stupid does, even manufacturers!

  1. #1
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    Stupid is - as stupid does, even manufacturers!

    Probably many folks have seen these before but some crack me right up Some products/stores are UK origin it seems.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    In Honor of Stupid People

    In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

    On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
    (That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

    ================

    On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
    (the shoplifter special?)

    =========================

    On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
    (and that would be???....)

    ==========================

    On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
    (but, it's just a suggestion.)

    ==========================

    On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
    (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

    ==========================

    On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
    (...and you thought????...)

    ==========================

    On packaging for a Rowenta iron

    "Do not iron clothes on body."
    (but wouldn't this save me time?)

    ==========================

    On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
    (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

    =========================

    On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
    (...I'm taking this because???....)

    ==========================

    On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
    (as opposed to what?)

    ==========================

    On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
    (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

    ==========================


    On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
    (talk about a news flash)

    ==========================

    On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
    (Step 3: say what?)

    ===========================

    On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
    (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

    ========================

    On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
    (I'm thinking there is only one reason that this had to be posted as a warning.)



    Now I'm only fearful of Stupid People ! : )
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

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  3. #2
    VIP Member Array Bud White's Avatar
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    On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
    (I'm thinking there is only one reason that this had to be posted as a warning.)


    DAng that one is a good one..

    i got storys i could tell from work but not top that one

  4. #3
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    Here are a few others I've seen:

    On Preperation H:
    Do not take orally. (Gee, the hemroids are still there and my mouth is all puckered up!!)

    On a car jack:
    Warning: Be sure car is stopped before attempting to change tire. (it would be so much faster the other way tho).

    On a fan belt replacement:
    Be sure that the engine is stopped before attempting to replace belt. (Those pesky fan blades do get in the way, don't they?)
    Heroes are people who do what has to be done, when it has to be done, regardless of the consequences

    "I like when the enemy shoots at me; then I know where the ******** are and can kill them."
    ~George Patton

    DE OPPRESSO LIBER

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    I found others...

    Liquid Plummer
    Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

    Windex
    Do not spray in eyes.

    Bowl Fresh
    Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.

    Toilet Plunger
    Caution: Do not use near power lines.

    Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
    This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

    Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter
    Safe to use around pets.

    Endust Duster
    This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.

    Baby Oil
    Keep out of reach of children

    Little Ones Baby Lotion
    Keep away from children

    Hair Coloring
    Do not use as an ice cream topping.

    Wet-Nap
    Directions: Tear open packet and use.

    Stridex Foaming Face Wash
    May contain foam.

    Old Spice Red Zone Deoderant
    Use only on underarms.

    Zantac 75
    Do not take if allergic to zantac.

    Sleeping Pills
    Warning: May cause Drowsiness

    Bic Lighter
    Ignite lighter away from face.
    (How am I supposed to light my smokes?)

    Komatsu Floodlight
    This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark

    Earplugs
    These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe
    (If you see this guy at the range, remove all his guns!)

    Mattress
    Warning: Do not attempt to swallow

    Matches
    Caution: Contents may catch fire.

    Pepper Spray
    Caution: Never aim spray at your own eyes.

    Auto-Shade Widnshield Visor
    Warning: Do not drive with sunshade in place. Remove from windshield before starting ignition.

    Fix-a-Flat
    WARNING: Do not weld can to rim.

    Rain Gauge
    Suitable for outdoor use.

    RCA Television Remote Control
    Not Dishwasher Safe

    Pine Mountain Fire Logs
    Caution: Risk of fire

    Triops Fish Food
    Warning: Not for human consumption

    Home Depot Treated Lumber
    Do not consume

    Silk Soy Milk
    Shake well and buy often

    Air Conditioner
    Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.

    Rowenta Iron
    Warning: Never iron clothes on the body.

    Slush Puppy Cup
    This ice may be cold

    Nabisco Easy Cheese
    For best results, remove cap.

    Hotel provided shower cap in a box:
    Fits one head.

    A frisbee
    Warning: May contain small parts.

    A toilet bowl cleaning brush.
    Do not use orally.
    -------------------------------------------------

    What's really scary is that this warnings were placed AFTER some idiot actually did the deed.
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

  6. #5
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    Nothing can be totally idiot proofed....idiots are too resourceful
    "I surrounded 'em"- Alvin York

    "They're ain't many troubles that a man can't fix with seven hundred dollars and a thirty ought six"- Jeff Cooper

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    Quote Originally Posted by Miggy
    I found others...

    Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
    This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

    What's really scary is that this warnings were placed AFTER some idiot actually did the deed.
    I guess that rules out DIY dentistry?

    These are great! Thanks for posting!

  8. #7
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    Hahaha - oh my - some excellent additions - it'll help create the ''total stupid'' collection.

    I know there have been plenty of times over the years when I have been, well - sorta dumb - but heck - some of these defy belief! Even if some are spoof they are darned funny
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  9. #8
    Senior Member Array cmidkiff's Avatar
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    I've seen the automotive sun shade that says 'do not operate vehicle with shade in use'. You just have to picture some idiot driving down the road with his head out the window... Always brings a smile :)
    Liberty is an inherently offensive lifestyle. Living in a free society guarantees that each one of us will see our most cherished principles and beliefs questioned and in some cases mocked. It's worth it.

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