Stupid is - as stupid does, even manufacturers!

[P95Carry]

Probably many folks have seen these before but some crack me right up Some products/stores are UK origin it seems.

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In Honor of Stupid People

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

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On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)

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On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)

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On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion.)

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On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

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On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

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On packaging for a Rowenta iron

"Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)

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On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

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On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(...I'm taking this because???....)

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On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to what?)

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On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

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On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

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On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: say what?)

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On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

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On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(I'm thinking there is only one reason that this had to be posted as a warning.)



Now I'm only fearful of Stupid People ! : )

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[Bud White]

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(I'm thinking there is only one reason that this had to be posted as a warning.)


DAng that one is a good one..

i got storys i could tell from work but not top that one

[acparmed]

Here are a few others I've seen:

On Preperation H:
Do not take orally. (Gee, the hemroids are still there and my mouth is all puckered up!!)

On a car jack:
Warning: Be sure car is stopped before attempting to change tire. (it would be so much faster the other way tho).

On a fan belt replacement:
Be sure that the engine is stopped before attempting to replace belt. (Those pesky fan blades do get in the way, don't they?)

[Miggy]

I found others...

Liquid Plummer
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

Windex
Do not spray in eyes.

Bowl Fresh
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.

Toilet Plunger
Caution: Do not use near power lines.

Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter
Safe to use around pets.

Endust Duster
This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.

Baby Oil
Keep out of reach of children

Little Ones Baby Lotion
Keep away from children

Hair Coloring
Do not use as an ice cream topping.

Wet-Nap
Directions: Tear open packet and use.

Stridex Foaming Face Wash
May contain foam.

Old Spice Red Zone Deoderant
Use only on underarms.

Zantac 75
Do not take if allergic to zantac.

Sleeping Pills
Warning: May cause Drowsiness

Bic Lighter
Ignite lighter away from face.
(How am I supposed to light my smokes?)

Komatsu Floodlight
This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark

Earplugs
These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe
(If you see this guy at the range, remove all his guns!)

Mattress
Warning: Do not attempt to swallow

Matches
Caution: Contents may catch fire.

Pepper Spray
Caution: Never aim spray at your own eyes.

Auto-Shade Widnshield Visor
Warning: Do not drive with sunshade in place. Remove from windshield before starting ignition.

Fix-a-Flat
WARNING: Do not weld can to rim.

Rain Gauge
Suitable for outdoor use.

RCA Television Remote Control
Not Dishwasher Safe

Pine Mountain Fire Logs
Caution: Risk of fire

Triops Fish Food
Warning: Not for human consumption

Home Depot Treated Lumber
Do not consume

Silk Soy Milk
Shake well and buy often

Air Conditioner
Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.

Rowenta Iron
Warning: Never iron clothes on the body.

Slush Puppy Cup
This ice may be cold

Nabisco Easy Cheese
For best results, remove cap.

Hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.

A frisbee
Warning: May contain small parts.

A toilet bowl cleaning brush.
Do not use orally.
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What's really scary is that this warnings were placed AFTER some idiot actually did the deed.

[Team American]

Nothing can be totally idiot proofed....idiots are too resourceful

[DirksterG30]

I found others...

Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

What's really scary is that this warnings were placed AFTER some idiot actually did the deed.

I guess that rules out DIY dentistry?

These are great! Thanks for posting!

[P95Carry]

Hahaha - oh my - some excellent additions - it'll help create the ''total stupid'' collection.

I know there have been plenty of times over the years when I have been, well - sorta dumb - but heck - some of these defy belief! Even if some are spoof they are darned funny

[cmidkiff]

I've seen the automotive sun shade that says 'do not operate vehicle with shade in use'. You just have to picture some idiot driving down the road with his head out the window... Always brings a smile :)