This is a discussion on Thankful within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Thankful During a church service, a pastor asked the congregation if they had anything they wanted to share that made them thankful. A woman stood ...

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Thread: Thankful

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array Sheldon J's Avatar
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    Dec 2004
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    Talking Thankful


    During a church service, a pastor asked the congregation if they had anything they wanted to share that made them thankful.
    A woman stood up and said, "I'm thankful because two months ago, my husband had a terrible bicycle wreck. Jim's scrotum was smashed, he was in excruciating pain, and doctors didn't know if they could help him."
    A gasp rose from the men in the congregation as they imagined poor Jim's pain.
    "Jim was unable to hold me or the children," the woman continued. "Every move caused him terrible pain. Doctors performed a delicate operation to piece together the crushed remnants of Jim's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."
    The men squirmed, imagining such surgery.
    "But now," she said, "Jim is out of the hospital and the doctors say his scrotum should recover completely." With that, she sat down as the men exhaled in unison.
    The pastor tentatively asked, "Does anyone else have anything to say?"
    A man rose and said, "Good morning. I'm Jim, and I just want to tell my wife, once again, that the word is 'sternum' not "scrotum'!"
    "The sword dose not cause the murder, and the maker of the sword dose not bear sin" Rabbi Solomon ben Isaac 11th century

  2. #2
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    Array pgrass101's Avatar
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    Sep 2006

    Thanks I needed that this morning.
    A real man loves his wife, and places his family as the most important thing in life. Nothing has brought me more peace and content in life than simply being a good husband and father.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Array ronwill's Avatar
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    Jun 2006
    Made my day!
    Member NRA, SAF and
    “America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.” Abraham Lincoln

  4. #4
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    Array archer51's Avatar
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    Nov 2007
    I wonder if she was blonde?

  5. #5
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    Feb 2008
    that there was funny
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

  6. #6
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    Array Miggy's Avatar
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    Jul 2005
    Miami-Dade, FL
    Thanks I do needed the laugh today!
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

  7. #7
    Member Array diablo111's Avatar
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    Apr 2008
    Spanish Fork, UT.
    LOL...must be blonde! Thanks for the laugh :D
    If you own a handgun and your state law allows it, please carry.

  8. #8
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    Array RETSUPT99's Avatar
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    Central Florida
    Caught me off guard...Thanks for the laugh...
    Proverbs 27:12 says: “The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it.”

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