Man of the House

This is a discussion on Man of the House within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled: 'YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE'. He stormed to his wife in the ...

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Thread: Man of the House

  1. April 22nd, 2008 03:16 AM #1
    morintp [OP]
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    Man of the House

    The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled:
    'YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE'.

    He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, 'From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.

    After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will make love the way that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?

    The wife replied, 'The funeral director would be my first guess.'..
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  2. April 22nd, 2008 03:16 AM Remove Ads
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  3. April 22nd, 2008 06:26 AM #2
    retsupt99
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    That would be MY wife's response...
    "That I cannot do."

    "Give this to, uh, Clemenza. I want reliable people, people who aren't going to be carried away. After all we're not murderers in spite of what this undertaker thinks."


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  4. April 22nd, 2008 06:35 AM #3
    goldshellback
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    I wear the pants in MY house...

    ..........when she lets me
    "Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008

    (Sometimes) "a fight avioded is a fight won." ... claude clay
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  5. April 22nd, 2008 07:51 AM #4
    miklcolt45
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    Repeat after me:

    The man is the head of the house.
    But, the woman is the neck that turns the head....

    Repeat daily until indoctrinated.
    You will be assimilated.
    He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliott

    The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.
    Albert Einstein
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  6. April 22nd, 2008 09:04 AM #5
    glock27mark
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    man of the house

    Quote Originally Posted by retsupt99 View Post
    That would be MY wife's response...
    i think a another response would be, i better wake up.
    (SHERIFF BUFORD T. JUSTICE) "what the hell is
    the world coming too"

    NRA LIFE MEMBER

    U.S. ARMY FT.SILL, OKLA.
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  7. April 22nd, 2008 08:02 PM #6
    Sky Pilot
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    This was addressed with a His 'n Hers T-shirt set.
    "His" had a proud, gaudy, brightly-colored Dominecker rooster in full strut, boldly captioned, "I Rule the Roost!"
    "Hers" was a Dominecker hen holding a frying pan, captioned, "I Rule the Rooster!"
    "Deine Papieren bitte?" or "ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ !"
    (Choose only one)
    NRA Endowment Member
    "I bark at no man's bid. I will never come and go, and fetch and carry, at the whistle of the great man in the White House no matter who he is." -- David Crockett
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  8. April 22nd, 2008 08:22 PM #7
    falcon1 Contrib Icon
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    Quote Originally Posted by miklcolt45 View Post
    You will be assimilated.
    "Resistance is futile."
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  9. April 22nd, 2008 08:29 PM #8
    Ridgeline
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    We all know the ole saying "if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
    Second part to this time honored truth is...
    "if daddy ain't happy, ain't nobody cares"
    "Eternity is Too Long to be Wrong"

    Texas CHL Instructor & Holder & Utah CFP Instructor
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    Member TSRA, USCCA, TCHA
    Christian, Heterosexual, Pro-2A, Pro-Life, Conservative, Common Sense American
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  10. April 22nd, 2008 11:00 PM #9
    artz
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    LOL....
    " Refuse to be a victim, make sure there is a round chambered ! "

    Just call me a pessimistic optimist !

    U.S. Navy vet 1981-1992
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  11. April 23rd, 2008 09:22 AM #10
    pgrass101
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ridgeline View Post
    We all know the ole saying "if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
    Second part to this time honored truth is...
    "if daddy ain't happy, ain't nobody cares"
    That is so true
    Noli nothis permittere te terere

    Lord, Grant me a good sword and no need to use it.
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  12. April 23rd, 2008 09:59 AM #11
    MR D
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    in Central America there was a saying that loosely translates "a man is the head of his house (or king of his castle) from the front door out"
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  13. April 23rd, 2008 01:08 PM #12
    wareagleky
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    My grandfather always said he wears the pants in the family but my grandmother picks them out!
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