Anatomy of an IDPA match.
Dawn is cracking. Ok, we need to set up the Cofs, what props do we need to get? Who has a copy of the CoFs anyway? Where is he? Call him on the cell! Where are you? Well drop the McMuffin and hurry the heck up, would ya? No, I am tired of shooting El Presidente. He is finally here. OK, we need 12 barrels, 18 stands, 7 barricades, 2 chairs, 36 2x1ís, the desk and the fake computer. Where is the prop door? What in hell is doing way down there? Got it? Watch my fingers! It is OK, the pain is subsiding. Where the hell is everybody? Ok, letís set up now, we are wasting daylight. Ahh damn it! We are out of staples! Somebody run to Home Depot and get a couple of boxes and bring some 9 volt batteries while you are at it. I need to paint the hands on the Non-Threats, whereís the spray paint? Hello? You still at Home Depot? Bring a can of black spray paint. Yeah. No, nothing else. Hurry back. Ok, letís get the target stapled. Hey Joe, paint the hands. On the targets not on yourself. We are almost ready people! Where did everybody come from all of the sudden? I am sweating like crazy, need to change my shirt already. Where are my Safety Officers? Do we have Safety Officers? Score sheets Ready? New Shooters go see the Safety Director! ScoreMaster, everything ready? Everybody paid up? No, we donít take IOUís and you just have to reboot the laptop and start all over. WALK-THRU! Nononono that is Tactical Priority. At least two shots per target, shoot till you are happy. The pasters and the timers are in my truck, spare batteries are in Joeís car, the one that we used as prop and got shot up last match. Safety Officers, call your squads! No Jose, you canít use your wifeís offset holster. I can park a 4x4 in that gap. It is not legal. WE ARE GOING HOT! EYES AND EARS!
We need more pasters. I know, the Cofís are supposed to be revolver-friendly, I guess we screwed up, it wonít happen again, I promise. Ahhh crap, is it gonna rain again? Are we out of plastic? More pasters? Are they using them as confetti? Sheesh! We done shooting? Good! Letís tear down people? Where the hell is everybody? Are they gone already? Just take the crap down and throw it in the corner, I am too tired to screw with it now. Are all the scoresheets in? Why did he take Squad Twosís scoresheet home with him? Yeah, he is a tad brain damaged I supposed. Oh hell, letís get out of here, I need a beer.