Cows with guns?

This is a discussion on Cows with guns? within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Just a little bit of humor for you all to start off the week. Beware--this one's rather long. 5 minutes+. Enjoy YouTube - Cows With ...

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Thread: Cows with guns?

  1. #1
    Ex Member Array Ram Rod's Avatar
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    Cows with guns?

    Just a little bit of humor for you all to start off the week. Beware--this one's rather long. 5 minutes+. Enjoy
    YouTube - Cows With Guns • cowswithguns.com • Dana Lyons

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    VIP Member Array ExactlyMyPoint's Avatar
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    Who thinks this stuff up??
    Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.

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    VIP Member Array Sheldon J's Avatar
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    Ah yes a oldie but a true clasic...
    "The sword dose not cause the murder, and the maker of the sword dose not bear sin" Rabbi Solomon ben Isaac 11th century

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    VIP Member Array JonInNY's Avatar
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    Very cute!

    Here's another to the same song:

    YouTube - Cows With Guns (music by Dana Lyons, www.cowswithguns.com)
    "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch; Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."
    -- Benjamin Franklin

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    The last Blood Moon Tetrad for this millennium starts in April 2014 and ends in September 2015...according to NASA.

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    Distinguished Member Array Dakotaranger's Avatar
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    Kinda funny, but the guy seams a little to marxist for my taste
    "[T]he people are not to be disarmed of their weapons.
    They are left in full possession of them."

    Zacharia Johnson (speech in the Virginia Ratifying Convention,25 June 1778)"The best we can hope for concerning the people at large is that they be properly armed." ~Alexander Hamilton

  8. #7
    VIP Member Array JonInNY's Avatar
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    Three Little Pigs

    Quote Originally Posted by Dakotaranger View Post
    Kinda funny, but the guy seams a little to marxist for my taste
    Try this one then:

    Once there were three little pigs who lived together in mutual respect and in harmony with their environment. Using materials that were indigenous to the area, they each built a beautiful house. One pig built a house of straw, one a house of sticks, and one a house on dung, clay and creeper vines, shaped into bricks and baked in a small kiln. When they were finished, the pigs were satisfied with their work and settled back to live in peace and self determination, but their idyll was soon shattered.

    One day, along came a big, bad wolf with expansionist ideas. He saw the pigs and grew very hungry, in both the physical and ideological sense. When the pigs saw the wolf, they ran into the house of straw. The wolf ran up to the house and banged on the door shouting, little pigs, little pigs, let me in! The pigs shouted back, your gun-boat tactics hold no fear for pigs defending their homes and culture. But the wolf wasnt to be denied what he thought was his manifest destiny. So he huffed and puffed and blew down the house of straw. The frightened pigs ran to the house of sticks, with the wolf in hot pursuit. Where the house of straw had stood, other wolves bought off the land and started a banana plantation.

    At the house of sticks, the wolf again banged on the door and shouted, little pigs, little pigs, let me in! The pigs shouted back, go to hell, you carnivorous, imperialistical oppressor. At this, the wolf chuckled condescendingly. He thought to himself, they are so childlike in their ways, itll be a shame to see them go, but, progress cannot be stopped. So the wolf huffed and puffed and blew down the house of sticks. The pigs ran to the house of bricks, with the wolf close at their heels. Where the house of straw had stood, other wolves built a time-share condo resort complex for vacationing wolves with each unit of fiberglass reconstruction of the house of sticks, as well as native curio shops, snorkeling and dolphin shows.

    At the house of bricks, the wolf again banged on the door and shouted, little pigs, little pigs, let me in! This time, in response, the pigs sang songs of solidarity and wrote letters of protest to the United Nations. By now, the wolf was getting angry at the pigs refusal to see the situation from the carnivores point of view. So he huffed and puffed, and huffed and puffed then grabbed his chest and fell over dead from a massive heart attack, brought on from eating too many fatty foods.

    The three little pigs rejoiced that justice had triumphed and did a little dance around the corpse of the wolf. Their next step was to liberate their homeland. They gathered together another group of pigs that had been forced off their land. This new brigade of porcinistas attacked the resort complex with machine guns and rocket launchers and slaughtered the cruel wolf oppressors, sending a clear message to the rest of the hemisphere not to meddle in their affairs.

    Then the pigs set up a modern, socialistic democracy, with free education, universal health care, and affordable housing for everyone.

    Please note: The wolf in this story was a metaphorical construct. No actual wolves were harmed in the writing of this story.
    "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch; Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."
    -- Benjamin Franklin

  9. #8
    New Member Array luther's Avatar
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    Great Story

    The story is thoroughly enjoyable. Thanks very much for passing it along. I'll pass it along, myself, and I'll be sure you give you credit.

  10. #9
    Distinguished Member Array Dakotaranger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by luther View Post
    The story is thoroughly enjoyable. Thanks very much for passing it along. I'll pass it along, myself, and I'll be sure you give you credit.
    You crazy pacifist Don't you know that ranchers in Wyoming and Montana are suffering at the hands of an overpopulation of wolves. What do you mean no actual wolves were harmed. It's this kind of thinking that has New Jersey contemplating a 'sin tax' on fast food.

    Forgive the sarcastic poke When I read this I literally I really needed this story thanks
    "[T]he people are not to be disarmed of their weapons.
    They are left in full possession of them."

    Zacharia Johnson (speech in the Virginia Ratifying Convention,25 June 1778)"The best we can hope for concerning the people at large is that they be properly armed." ~Alexander Hamilton

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