Never Bring Plants Into The House!

Never Bring Plants Into The House!

This is a discussion on Never Bring Plants Into The House! within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Garden Grass Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) > can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. > > Here's why. > > A ...

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Thread: Never Bring Plants Into The House!

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array deadeye72's Avatar
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    Feb 2008
    Central Mississippi

    Never Bring Plants Into The House!

    Garden Grass Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis)
    > can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes.
    > Here's why.
    > A couple in Sweetwater, Texas, had a lot of potted plants.
    > During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them
    > indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.
    > It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one
    > of the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife
    > saw it go under the sofa.
    > She let out a very loud scream.
    > The husband (who was taking a shower) ran naked into the living room
    > to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the
    > sofa.
    > He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About
    > that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind.
    > He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on
    > the floor.
    > His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told
    > him to lie still and called an ambulance.
    > The attendants rushed in, wouldn't listen to his protests a
    ND loaded
    > him on the stretcher and started carrying him out.
    > About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and the
    > Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the
    > stretcher.
    > That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.
    > The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she
    > called on a neighbor man.
    > He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up
    > newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was
    > gone and told the woman, who sat down on t
    He sofa in relief.
    > But while relaxing, she dangled her hand in between the cushions,
    > where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted
    > and the snake rushed back under the sofa.
    > The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR
    > to re
    Vive her.
    > The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the
    > grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and
    > slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned
    > goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp so that he needed
    > stitches.

    > The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor
    > lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that
    > he had been bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen and got a
    > small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.
    > By now the police had arrived.
    > They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a
    > drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when
    > the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little green
    > snake.
    > The police called an ambulance , which took away the neighbor and his
    > sobbing wife.
    > The little snake again crawled out from under the sofa.
    > One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it.
    > He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell
    > over and the lamp on I
    T shattered and as the bulb broke it started a
    > fire in the drapes.
    > The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the
    > window into the yard on top of the startled family dog who, jumped out
    > and raced into the street where an
    > oncoming car swerved to av
    Oid the dog and smashed into the parked
    > police car.
    > Meanwhile, the burning drapes were seen by the neighbors who called
    > the fire department.
    > The firemen had started raising the fire truck ladder when they were
    > halfway down the street.
    > The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the
    > electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block
    > area. (But they did get the house fire out).
    > Time passed and both men were discharged from the hospital, the house
    > was repaired, the dog came home, the police were issued a
    new car, and
    > all was right with their world.
    > Several days later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced
    > a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought
    > they should bring in their plants for the night.
    > That's when he shot her.<
    Glock 27

  2. #2
    VIP Member Array HKinNY's Avatar
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    Dec 2007
    Nassau, NY(Long Island)
    To to to funny

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