Missing Husband

Missing Husband

This is a discussion on Missing Husband within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; MISSING HUSBAND Rick was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him, “tomorrow morning, I expect to find ...

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Thread: Missing Husband

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array Sheldon J's Avatar
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    Talking Missing Husband

    MISSING HUSBAND

    Rick was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him, “tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!”

    The next morning Rick got up early and left for work. When his wife awoke, she looked out the window, and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway and brought the box back in the house.

    She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

    Rick has been missing since Friday. Please pray for him.
    "The sword dose not cause the murder, and the maker of the sword dose not bear sin" Rabbi Solomon ben Isaac 11th century


  2. #2
    VIP Member Array deadeye72's Avatar
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    Rick better not show up.
    Glock 27
    BENELLI NOVA

  3. #3
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    Funny!
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  4. #4
    Member Array uakaos's Avatar
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    lol hahaha thats great stuff
    "An unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it."

  5. #5
    VIP Member Array ExactlyMyPoint's Avatar
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    I hope he enlisted in the witness protection program.
    Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.

  6. #6
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    What's really scary is TODAY is my anniversary!! (And, no, I didn't buy a scale!)
    Rick

    EOD - Initial success or total failure

  7. #7
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    I think he joined the foreign legion. I know i wouldn't go home.
    It is surely true that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. Nor can you make them grateful for your efforts.

  8. #8
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    I think Rick is fertilizing a patch of ground somewhere
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

  9. #9
    VIP Member Array Sheldon J's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by exactlymypoint View Post
    I hope he enlisted in the witness protection program.
    Don't you mean anniversary protection program?
    "The sword dose not cause the murder, and the maker of the sword dose not bear sin" Rabbi Solomon ben Isaac 11th century

  10. #10
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    I thought it was really funny, but I wouldn't tell my wife that joke...

    My wife got on the scale just a morning or two ago...I was watching from the bed...when she got on the scale, I said in my squeal voice..."Ouch, ouch, that hurts, hurry, please get off!"
    I thought it was funny...

    Nope, I'm not telling her that joke!

    Stay armed...know when to keep your mouth shut...stay safe!(really!)
    The last Blood Moon Tetrad for this millennium starts in April 2014 and ends in September 2015...according to NASA.

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  11. #11
    VIP Member Array ExactlyMyPoint's Avatar
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    On my flight to Chicago (Yes, I am there right now. Pray for me and my safety as I am completely unarmed) I told it to two flight attendants. One was a man, the other a woman. Both were normal body size. They both laughed. But I wouldn't tell my wife either, not if I wasn't planning on enlisting in the witness protection program.
    Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.

  12. #12
    VIP Member Array Spirit51's Avatar
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    I will say a prayer for Rick.

    Dear Lord,

    Please help this FOOLISH man.

    Sincerely,

    Some Smarter Guy's Wife


    A woman must not depend on protection by men. A woman must learn to protect herself.
    Susan B. Anthony
    A armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one has to back it up with his life.
    Robert Heinlein

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