A Suggestion for Married Men

A Suggestion for Married Men

This is a discussion on A Suggestion for Married Men within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as ...

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  1. #1
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    A Suggestion for Married Men

    It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes
    harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they
    were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are
    oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

    My name is Jim. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife,
    Peggy. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Peggy to get
    a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for
    the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I
    noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf
    club about the same time she gets home from work.

    Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest
    for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her.
    Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner
    on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so
    eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit
    that door.

    She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not
    unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.

    I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening
    that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it
    does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

    Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will say
    that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during
    her lunch hour but, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile
    and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three
    days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that
    missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know
    what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

    When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She
    had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try
    not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big,
    cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as
    long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.

    I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Peggy. I'm not
    saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it
    difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how
    frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use
    a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this
    article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we
    are put on this earth to help each other.

    Signed,

    Jim

    EDITOR'S NOTE:

    Jim died suddenly on May 27 of a perforated rectum. The police report says
    he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf
    club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing and a
    sledge hammer laying nearby.

    His wife Peggy was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took
    only 15 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her de fense that Jim
    somehow, without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .


  2. #2
    VIP Member Array deadeye72's Avatar
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    Too funny.
    Glock 27
    BENELLI NOVA

  3. #3
    VIP Member Array cdwolf's Avatar
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    LOL...
    GUN CONTROL= I WANT TO BE THE ONE IN CONTROL OF THE GUN

    A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

  4. #4
    VIP Member Array Redneck Repairs's Avatar
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    Too bad for " jim " and i will say he was on " the right track " be it golf or weapons . Heck just last week the wife whispered in her loving way " I hope yu like that XXX because i am gonna , oh wait this shoots good .. ermm hey i love you baby and thanks for the new gun .
    Make sure you get full value out of today , Do something worthwhile, because what you do today will cost you one day off the rest of your life .
    We only begin to understand folks after we stop and think .

    Criminals are looking for victims, not opponents.

  5. #5
    VIP Member Array hogdaddy's Avatar
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    Tried That One Time Did Not Work I Had To

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    VIP Member Array JonInNY's Avatar
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    Since I'm the one at home that cooks, does laundry, and "maintains" the household, I will show this to my wife, and see if she thinks that way about me!

    "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch; Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."
    -- Benjamin Franklin

  7. #7
    VIP Member Array Kerbouchard's Avatar
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    I already told my wife that when she starts to slow down I'll have to trade her in on a newer model...had to sleep on the couch for a week.
    There are two sides to every issue: one side is right and the other is wrong, but the middle is always evil.

    http://miscmusings.townhall.com/

    Who is John Galt?

  8. #8
    VIP Member Array deadeye72's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kerbouchard View Post
    I already told my wife that when she starts to slow down I'll have to trade her in on a newer model...had to sleep on the couch for a week.
    With one eye open I bet.
    Glock 27
    BENELLI NOVA

  9. #9
    VIP Member Array goldshellback's Avatar
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    huh.....imagine that?

    Think I'll put my clubs in the safe with the firearms.
    "Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008

    (Sometimes) "a fight avioded is a fight won." ... claude clay

  10. #10
    Ex Member Array TacticalCompact's Avatar
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    Mine wouldn't need to use a golf club. She has a shiny new Mk9...

  11. #11
    VIP Member Array Paco's Avatar
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    I married a red head, I ain't even gonna joke about it.
    "Don't hit a man if you can possibly avoid it; but if you do hit him, put him to sleep." - Theodore Roosevelt

    -Paco
    http://www.shieldsd.net

  12. #12
    Member Array Army22rpr's Avatar
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    I'm going to miss Jim, Note to self, ask Peggy if she wants me to get rid of the rest of those clubs for her. hehe
    Associate with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company.- George Washington
    Serving Since 1985- "Airborne"

  13. #13
    Member Array madmunky40's Avatar
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    that was a good one.
    "It is better to live one day as a lion than a hundred years as a sheep."
    - Italian proverb

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