A Suggestion for Married Men
This is a discussion on A Suggestion for Married Men within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes
harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as ...
May 23rd, 2008 12:53 PM
A Suggestion for Married Men
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes
harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they
were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are
oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.
My name is Jim. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife,
Peggy. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Peggy to get
a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for
the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I
noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf
club about the same time she gets home from work.
Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest
for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her.
Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner
on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so
eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit
She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not
unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.
I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening
that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it
does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will say
that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during
her lunch hour but, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile
and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three
days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that
missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know
what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She
had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try
not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big,
cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as
long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Peggy. I'm not
saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it
difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how
frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use
a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this
article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we
are put on this earth to help each other.
Jim died suddenly on May 27 of a perforated rectum. The police report says
he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf
club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing and a
sledge hammer laying nearby.
His wife Peggy was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took
only 15 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her de fense that Jim
somehow, without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .
May 23rd, 2008 12:58 PM
May 23rd, 2008 01:02 PM
GUN CONTROL= I WANT TO BE THE ONE IN CONTROL OF THE GUN
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed
May 23rd, 2008 01:13 PM
Too bad for " jim " and i will say he was on " the right track " be it golf or weapons . Heck just last week the wife whispered in her loving way " I hope yu like that XXX because i am gonna , oh wait this shoots good .. ermm hey i love you baby and thanks for the new gun .
Make sure you get full value out of today , Do something worthwhile, because what you do today will cost you one day off the rest of your life .
We only begin to understand folks after we stop and think .
Criminals are looking for victims, not opponents.
May 23rd, 2008 03:22 PM
Tried That One Time Did Not Work I Had To
May 23rd, 2008 03:37 PM
Since I'm the one at home that cooks, does laundry, and "maintains" the household, I will show this to my wife, and see if she thinks that way about me!
"Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch; Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."
-- Benjamin Franklin
May 23rd, 2008 04:06 PM
I already told my wife that when she starts to slow down I'll have to trade her in on a newer model...had to sleep on the couch for a week.
May 23rd, 2008 04:12 PM
With one eye open I bet.
Originally Posted by Kerbouchard
May 23rd, 2008 06:43 PM
Think I'll put my clubs in the safe with the firearms.
"Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008
(Sometimes) "a fight avioded is a fight won." ... claude clay
May 23rd, 2008 07:13 PM
Mine wouldn't need to use a golf club. She has a shiny new Mk9...
May 23rd, 2008 09:42 PM
I married a red head, I ain't even gonna joke about it.
"Don't hit a man if you can possibly avoid it; but if you do hit him, put him to sleep." - Theodore Roosevelt
June 4th, 2008 03:08 AM
I'm going to miss Jim, Note to self, ask Peggy if she wants me to get rid of the rest of those clubs for her. hehe
Associate with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company.- George Washington
Serving Since 1985- "Airborne"
June 4th, 2008 08:34 AM
"It is better to live one day as a lion than a hundred years as a sheep."
- Italian proverb
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