Never question a drunk

This is a discussion on Never question a drunk within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected: A half-gallon of 2% milk A carton of eggs A quart of orange juice A ...

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Thread: Never question a drunk

  1. #1
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    Never question a drunk

    I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
    A half-gallon of 2% milk
    A carton of eggs
    A quart of orange juice
    A head of lettuce
    A 2 lb. can of coffee
    A 1 lb. package of bacon
    As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, ''You must be single.'' I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition,
    since I was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status. Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: ''Well, you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?''










    The drunk replied, ''Cause you're ugly.''
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

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    JD
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    Senior Member Array stanislaskasava's Avatar
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    Touché!

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    "Just blame Sixto"

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    Miggy - haha .......
    Chris - P95
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    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


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    VIP Member Array ExactlyMyPoint's Avatar
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    I guess wisdom comes in all shapes and sizes.
    Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.

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    VIP Member Array Rob99VMI04's Avatar
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    I've come to this realization that that most Men are ugly and women are attractive to stable Ugly men.


    Just ask JD.......

    JK.......sorry JD don't BAN ME!!!!!!
    “Are you a thermometer or a thermostat, do you reflect or become what is happening in the room or do you change the atmosphere, reset the temperature when you come into the room”?--Chuck Swindoll

    Its not about guns...Its about Freedom!

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    VIP Member Array deadeye72's Avatar
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    That is hilarious.
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    BENELLI NOVA

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    VIP Member Array HKinNY's Avatar
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    Funny.

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    That theres funny I don't care who ya are
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    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

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    Distinguished Member Array Dakotaranger's Avatar
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    I thought alcohol made people look better....I guess I don't ever want to meet you Miggy
    "[T]he people are not to be disarmed of their weapons.
    They are left in full possession of them."

    Zacharia Johnson (speech in the Virginia Ratifying Convention,25 June 1778)"The best we can hope for concerning the people at large is that they be properly armed." ~Alexander Hamilton

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    Caught me off guard...
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    Distinguished Member Array Reborn's Avatar
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    I am using this today on someone, even if I have to stand in a Wal-Mart half the day.........thanks for posting it.
    Psalms 144:1
    Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight.
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