Wal-Mart greeter.

Wal-Mart greeter.

This is a discussion on Wal-Mart greeter. within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; "Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams" A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all ...

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Thread: Wal-Mart greeter.

  1. #1
    Distinguished Member Array Reborn's Avatar
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    Wal-Mart greeter.

    "Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams"
    A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into
    Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

    The Wal-Mart Greeter said pleasantly,
    'Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart .
    Nice children you have there.
    Are they twins?'

    The woman stopped yelling long enough to say,
    'Hell no they ain't!
    The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7.
    Why the hell would you think they're twins?
    Are you blind, or just stupid?'

    'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am,' replied the greeter.
    'I just couldn't believe someone would sleep with you twice.

    Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal- Mart.
    Psalms 144:1
    Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight.
    Senior Instructor for Tactical and Defensive of Texas
    http://www.tac-def-tx.com/
    CHL INSTRUCTOR
    Retired LEO
    NRA member
    TCHA member


  2. #2
    VIP Member Array goldshellback's Avatar
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    I'm at work........and just shot coffee outta my nose.

    Glad it wasn't MY computer I caffinated while reading your post Reborn.
    "Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008

    (Sometimes) "a fight avioded is a fight won." ... claude clay

  3. #3
    VIP Member Array Kerbouchard's Avatar
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    That is one I'll have to remember!
    There are two sides to every issue: one side is right and the other is wrong, but the middle is always evil.

    http://miscmusings.townhall.com/

    Who is John Galt?

  4. #4
    Senior Member Array Sky Pilot's Avatar
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    KOFF!
    (choke, gasp, wheeze!)
    (yanks open drawer)
    (pulls out paper towel)
    (blows nose)
    (gets another towel)
    (wipes screen)
    (pours coffee out of keyboard)
    (pulls out three towels)
    (lifts monitor and mops puddle off desk)
    A good one! Thank you for the laugh!
    "Deine Papieren bitte?" or "ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ !"
    (Choose only one)
    NRA Endowment Member
    "I bark at no man's bid. I will never come and go, and fetch and carry, at the whistle of the great man in the White House no matter who he is." -- David Crockett

  5. #5
    VIP Member Array rodc13's Avatar
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    Cheers,
    Rod
    "We're paratroopers. We're supposed to be surrounded!" Dick Winters

  6. #6
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    Wow that is good I gotta remember that one
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

  7. #7
    VIP Member Array TN_Mike's Avatar
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    That was funny! Good one I will remember!
    ,=====o00o _
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    (o)_)-o- (o)_)--o-)_)

  8. #8
    Member Array Fmr18z's Avatar
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    It took me 5 minutes to stop laughing, get up offa the floor, wipe the tears outta my eyes, blow my nose and use the bathroom, that was goood Reborn!
    The first time you aren't armed and prepared may be the last time you wished you were.

  9. #9
    VIP Member Array ExactlyMyPoint's Avatar
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    I never understood the spitting coffee all over your computer screen until now.
    Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Array flagflyfish's Avatar
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    I'm gonna have to remember that one!
    "These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier
    and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the
    service of his country; but he that stands it now, deserves the
    love and thanks of man and woman."

    -- Thomas Paine (The American Crisis, No. 1, 19 December 1776)

  11. #11
    Member Array jhfox462's Avatar
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    Heh...
    Nice. Very nice.
    Benjamin Franklin once said, "he that would supplant a little liberty for a little safety deserves neither".

  12. #12
    VIP Member Array JonInNY's Avatar
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    **** Very Funny ****

    Hey guys...

    You should anticipate that a punch line is coming and...

    1) Put Down All Liquids
    2) Back Away From Computer
    3) Have Tissues/Napkins in Hand
    4) Remember the Four Rules
    5) Then Scroll Down and Read the Punch Line
    "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch; Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."
    -- Benjamin Franklin

  13. #13
    VIP Member Array goldshellback's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JonInNY View Post
    **** Very Funny ****

    Hey guys...

    You should anticipate that a punch line is coming and...

    1) Put Down All Liquids
    2) Back Away From Computer
    3) Have Tissues/Napkins in Hand
    4) Remember the Four Rules
    5) Then Scroll Down and Read the Punch Line
    Roger, copy all



    "4) Remember the Four Rules" That's funny right there!
    "Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008

    (Sometimes) "a fight avioded is a fight won." ... claude clay

  14. #14
    Member Array oilman's Avatar
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    I think I saw that couple at IKEA!!

  15. #15
    VIP Member Array HKinNY's Avatar
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    Since I am in a family business and don't have to worry about being fired. I AM going to use that line someplace someday so Thank you in advance. GREAT POST!!

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