Product descriptions worthy of the "baffle em with bull do-do" award?

[markush]

First let me say I am not cutting on the products in anyway and I in fact have no experience with the following products. I do find the "sales pitch" to be somewhat comical in the case of SteelShield and am amazed at the amount of info written for the ETM Mags.

It could be that I am not very edumacated in "ADVANCED BOUNDARY FILM Technology" but I have to scratch my head and say "HUH??" when I read something like this...taken from Welcome to Weapon Shield - Cleaner, Lubricant, and Preservative for Weapons

Steel Shield Technologies’ mechanism of operation is based upon advanced methods of Tribology that improve lubricity and load carrying capacity. This, in turn, improves surface characteristics while simultaneously creating a stable chemical Advanced Boundary Film on the contacting metal surfaces of whatever equipment of which it is added. The process of Advanced Boundary Film formation is achieved through a unique combination of long-chain halogenated hydrocarbons and other proprietary additives that are highly stable and non-corrosive to the equipment's metal parts, and pose no threat to the environment or waste oil recovery systems....(the rest of this paragraph is equelly um...baffeling to me)

I was just looking for a good lube for my firearm I don't want to build a space shuttle in my basement!?


THE WILSON COMBAT® ELITE TACTICAL MAGAZINE

I wish every product description was this thorough!!! I wonder if the Technical Writer on this one got paid per word...of which there is 1274 including the title.

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[JD]

My favorite is "The smallest 1911" by my count there are now at leat 3 different 1911s currently being billed as
The smallest the planet".

[2AMomma]

What scares me is that you actually took the time to count the words!

[matiki]

That's funny. Tribology is a real word (I had to look it up). There's even a journal of tribology. Go figure.

It refers to the science of lubrication. Why couldn't they just say it's a great gun lube.

[Rmac58]

It refers to the science of lubrication. Why couldn't they just say it's a great gun lube.

They're too cool.