The burglar and the little old lady

The burglar and the little old lady

This is a discussion on The burglar and the little old lady within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; A burglar breaks into the house of a little old lady at 2 am. Awaken by the noise, the little old lady comes down the ...

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  1. #1
    VIP Member Array ExactlyMyPoint's Avatar
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    The burglar and the little old lady

    A burglar breaks into the house of a little old lady at 2 am. Awaken by the noise, the little old lady comes down the stairs to see what all the ruckus is all about. As she enters the living room, she sees the burglar. Not armed, but with an unwavering faith in God, she screams out Acts 2:38. (Then Peter said to them,"Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. )

    Immediately the burglar drops to the ground and doesn't move. The little old lady calls 911 and the police come and arrest the burglar.

    In the patrol car, the policeman asks why the burglar didn't run when he was confronted by the little old lady. He replied, "Are you kidding? She screamed out she had an ax and two .38s".
    Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.


  2. #2
    Member Array NKMG19's Avatar
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    Now that there is funny.
    NRA Member

  3. #3
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Acts 2:38 ... repent and get your rewards.

    Acts not (fail to repent) ... and you'll get 2 38's as reward.

    Either way, getting on his knees was the right response. Ha.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
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    Member Array madmunky40's Avatar
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    "It is better to live one day as a lion than a hundred years as a sheep."
    - Italian proverb

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by madmunky40 View Post
    Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt
    Good one.

    But OTOH two .38s are easier to carry, concealed.
    Μολὼν λαβέ

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    Veni, Vidi, Velcro

  6. #6
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    I've heard it before but that there is still funny
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

  7. #7
    VIP Member Array obxned's Avatar
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    I rather quote Colt 19:11.
    "If we loose Freedom here, there's no place to escape to. This is the Last Place on Earth!" Ronald Reagan

  8. #8
    Member Array RebelKangaroo's Avatar
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    Now that's funny.

  9. #9
    Member Array RebelKangaroo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by madmunky40 View Post
    Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt
    And what does that mean?

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by RebelKangaroo View Post
    And what does that mean?
    When catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults

    OK, so I googled it...sue me!
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
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    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

  11. #11
    Member Array RebelKangaroo's Avatar
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    My google skills must suck then, I couldn't find it.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Miggy View Post
    When catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults

    OK, so I googled it...sue me!
    I had already copied it and planned to Google it after reading the thread.

    You saved me the time.

    Where would we be without Google?

  13. #13
    Senior Member Array Rob P.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RebelKangaroo View Post
    My google skills must suck then, I couldn't find it.

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