e-mail I recieded--too funny

This is a discussion on e-mail I recieded--too funny within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Becoming Illegal.. You'll love this! FORMS ARE GOING FAST- SIGN UP TODAY! Becoming Illegal (Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator) ...

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Thread: e-mail I recieded--too funny

  1. #1
    Member Array denverbear's Avatar
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    e-mail I recieded--too funny

    Becoming Illegal.. You'll love this!
    FORMS ARE GOING FAST- SIGN UP TODAY!

    Becoming Illegal (Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent
    to his senator)

    The Honorable Tom Harkin
    731 Hart Senate Office Building
    Phone (202) 224 3254
    Washington DC , 20510

    Dear Senator Harkin,

    As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Inte rnal Revenue
    Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted
    the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the
    process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

    My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S.
    Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently
    passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of
    this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been
    in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a
    citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the
    last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious
    to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

    Simply put, those of us who have been he re legally have had to
    pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding
    two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any
    way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield
    an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes
    in 2004 and 2005.

    Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local
    emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have
    stopped paying premiums f! or medic al insurance, my accountant figures
    I could save almost $10,000 a year.

    Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my
    daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law
    school applications, as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many
    colleges throughout the United States for my son.

    Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of th e
    burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome
    car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I
    still have college age children driving my car.

    If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become
    illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary
    forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you f or you r assistance.

    Your Loyal Constituent,
    Donald Ruppert
    Burlington , IA

    Get your Forms (NOW)! Call your Internal Revenue Service
    1-800-289-1040.

    Please pass this on to your friends so they can save on this great offer
    Glock 23
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  3. #2
    Member Array Spenser's Avatar
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    I like it.
    Better to die quick, fighting on your feet;
    Than to live forever, begging on your knees.

  4. #3
    Senior Member Array Mtbiker's Avatar
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    copy and paste!
    -Biker

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