Twenty Nine Lines To Make You Smile

This is a discussion on Twenty Nine Lines To Make You Smile within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; 1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't. 2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy ...

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Thread: Twenty Nine Lines To Make You Smile

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    VIP Member Array deadeye72's Avatar
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    Twenty Nine Lines To Make You Smile

    1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he
    was God and I didn't.
    2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
    3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
    4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
    5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
    6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
    7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
    8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
    9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
    10... Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
    11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning
    medicine.
    12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
    13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
    14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
    15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
    16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
    17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
    18 . Procrastinate Now!
    19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
    20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
    21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
    22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
    23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
    24.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
    25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand
    times the memory.
    26.. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment
    for a pig.
    27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
    28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
    29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
    Glock 27
    BENELLI NOVA

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    VIP Member Array JonInNY's Avatar
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    30. The Department of Interior makes a lot of sense: they are in charge of everything outdoors!
    "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch; Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."
    -- Benjamin Franklin

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