A guy walks into a bar...

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Thread: A guy walks into a bar...

  1. #1
    Member Array aepilotjim's Avatar
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    A guy walks into a bar...

    A 78 year old man is getting his annual physical when he turns to his doctor beaming, "My 18 year old wife is pregnant!"

    The doctor turns to the man and says, "Let me tell you a story. A guy gets up one day to go bear hunting and instead of grabbing his shot gun he grabs an umbrella. Later that day a bear bursts out of the woods in front of the man, he raises the umbrella and shoots the bear dead in its tracks."

    "That's... that's impossible! Someone else must have shot the bear!" gasps the old man.

    "My point exactly." replies the doctor.


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    Ex Member Array EB31's Avatar
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    VIP Member Array deadeye72's Avatar
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    Glock 27
    BENELLI NOVA

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    VIP Member Array ExactlyMyPoint's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aepilotjim View Post

    "My point exactly." replies the doctor.
    I resemble that remark.
    Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.

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    VIP Member Array HKinNY's Avatar
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    Hahahahaha. Will be using that one on day, to to funny.

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    got to remember that one.
    Rick

    EOD - Initial success or total failure

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    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    yep I agree it's hard to shoot a bear with an umbrella
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

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    VIP Member Array JonInNY's Avatar
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    Don't laugh too hard... we might all be there one day!
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    Quote Originally Posted by rstickle View Post
    got to remember that one.

    Ahhhhh, MEMORY, that's the second thing to go...

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  11. #10
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    OK Now.....here goes....

    A baby seal walks into a bar and sits down.


    "What can I get you?" asked the bartender.


    "Anything but a Canadian Club" replied the seal.
    Liberty Over Tyranny Μολὼν λαβέ

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    Member Array 2AMomma's Avatar
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    Oh I like that one QKShooter!!

    Here's mine:

    Two blondes walk into a bar, the brunette ducks...
    "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed."


    "SA is a cognitive state or process associated with the assessment of multiple environmental cues in a dynamic situation" ~ Isaac

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    There is this bear and he walks into a bar.


    He goes up to the bartender and says:

    "Can I have a large Gin.......and..................................... ...................
    .................................................. ........Tonic...Please."

    The Barman replies:

    "Yeah sure, but what's with the big pause?"

    The bear holds up his front legs and says: "I'm a bear!!"

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    Member Array 2AMomma's Avatar
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    That was great! Got any more - I need a few good laughs after the last few days I've had...

    Disclaimer: No offense intended!

    An Irishman walks out of a bar...

    Hey - it could happen!
    "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed."


    "SA is a cognitive state or process associated with the assessment of multiple environmental cues in a dynamic situation" ~ Isaac

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    Thumbs up OKOK My Last One

    The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down for a couple of beers.
    A few minutes later, a lanky, bow-legged cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big white horse outside?"

    "I do", the Lone Ranger replied. "Why?"

    The cowboy drawled, "You better take care of him.
    He's almost dead from the heat."

    The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and found Silver leaning against the hitching post, panting.

    They got him some water and soon Silver was looking better, but he was still panting.

    The Lone Ranger said, "Tonto, run around Silver as fast as you can and see if the breeze makes him feel any better.

    Tonto replied, "Sure, Kemosabe," and starts running around and around Silver just as fast as he can go.

    The Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his beer.

    A few minutes later, another cowboy came into the bar and drawled, "Who owns that big white horse outside?"

    "I do," the Lone Ranger said, "What's wrong with him this time!?!"

    "Nothin',"...the cowboy said, "But you left your Injun runnin'."

  16. #15
    Member Array aepilotjim's Avatar
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    A man comes home from work early one day to find his wife in bed with his best friend. Before he can even move his hand off the door knob, his friend jumps out of bed and says. "Wait a sec Fred, who're you going to believe? Your best friend or your lying eyes?"

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