What is your favorite blond joke? (Merged) - Page 2

What is your favorite blond joke? (Merged)

This is a discussion on What is your favorite blond joke? (Merged) within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; What did the blond say when she found out that she was going to have a baby? "I hope it's mine!"...

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  1. #16
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    Array RETSUPT99's Avatar
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    What did the blond say when she found out that she was going to have a baby?

    "I hope it's mine!"
    The last Blood Moon Tetrad for this millennium starts in April 2014 and ends in September 2015...according to NASA.

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  2. #17
    Member Array kracker's Avatar
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    How can you tell when a blonde has been using the computer??




    Theres white-out all over the monitor screen.

  3. #18
    VIP Member Array HKinNY's Avatar
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    A blond head woman calls a locksmith and explains that she locked her keys in the vehicle. No problem we will be there in 10 minutes. She replys "Please hurry it looks like rain and the top is down on my convertable.

  4. #19
    Senior Member Array Duisburg's Avatar
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    I rear-ended a car this morning.

    So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

    You know how sometimes you just get so stressed and little things just seem funny?

    Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!

    He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, “I AM NOT HAPPY!”

    So, I looked down at him and said, “Well, then which one are you?”
    I am sworn to protect the Constitution of the U.S.A. from all threats both foreign and domestic.

  5. #20
    Member Array LastManOut's Avatar
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    An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”

    The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

    1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

    2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a Colt .45.

    3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

    4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

    5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

    Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?’”

    The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, “No, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

  6. #21
    VIP Member Array Eagleks's Avatar
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    Roflmao....

  7. #22
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    Old but good.

    Blondestar

    Matt
    Battle Plan (n) - a list of things that aren't going to happen if you are attacked.
    Blame it on Sixto - now that is a viable plan.

  8. #23
    VIP Member Array JonInNY's Avatar
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    I like this one:

    YouTube - Blonde Secretary

    (It's only 5 Seconds.... short and sweet)
    "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch; Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."
    -- Benjamin Franklin

  9. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by MattLarson View Post
    Old but good.

    Blondestar

    Matt
    That WAS funny...
    The last Blood Moon Tetrad for this millennium starts in April 2014 and ends in September 2015...according to NASA.

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  10. #25
    VIP Member Array Sheldon J's Avatar
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    Talking three women

    Three women were about to be executed- a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde.

    The executioners were all lined up and the head executioner summoned the brunette, "ready, Aim," - She cried out "Earthquake!" and they all ran off and she escaped.

    The redhead was summoned. "Ready, Aim," - She cried out "Tornado!" and they all ran off and she escaped.

    It was the blonde's turn and she felt she was really prepared. "Ready, Aim," - She cried out "Fire!"
    "The sword dose not cause the murder, and the maker of the sword dose not bear sin" Rabbi Solomon ben Isaac 11th century

  11. #26
    Ex Member Array F350's Avatar
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    Why are all blonde jokes one liners...
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >....so men can remember them



    Sorry guys, a blonde, 6', 132# 38DD-26-36 girl friend told me that one one night in bed.....you asked for my favorite and considering the situation; I've always been fond of that one

  12. #27
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    Ambulance is dispatched to an overturned vehicle, upon arrival finds a blonde sitting on the side of the road.

    Blonde says, "I was just driving along when all of a sudden this tree jumps right out in front of me!"

    Medic says, "Ma'am, that was your air freshener."
    "Each worker carried his sword strapped to his side." Nehemiah 4:18

    Guns Save Lives. Paramedics Save Lives. But...
    Paramedics With Guns Scare People!

  13. #28
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    The US DOT announced today that beginning with model year 2009 cars, all headlight dimmer switched will be placed on the floor by the left foot. An exhaustive 20 year study has concluded that too many blondes are getting their feet stuck in the steering wheel.
    "Each worker carried his sword strapped to his side." Nehemiah 4:18

    Guns Save Lives. Paramedics Save Lives. But...
    Paramedics With Guns Scare People!

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