How smart are U

This is a discussion on How smart are U within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; 1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum. 2. Which of these cars will rust out the ...

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 18

Thread: How smart are U

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    texas
    Posts
    15,177

    How smart are U

    1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum.

    2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? A ' 65 Ford Fairlane, a ' 69 Chevrolet Chevelle or a ' 64 Pontiac GTO.

    3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the finished product?

    4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

    5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented it's charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone layer?

    6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be injured?

    7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out on the front porch?

    8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that the truck will strike a vehicle with a muffler?

    9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of th 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during that shift?

    10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

  2. Remove Ads

  3. #2
    Senior Member Array HowardCohodas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Canton, OH
    Posts
    899
    Apparently, not very smart. How humbling.
    Howard
    I carry a gun because I can't carry a cop!!
    Politically Incorrect Self Defense

  4. #3
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    texas
    Posts
    15,177
    Quote Originally Posted by HowardCohodas View Post
    Apparently, not very smart. How humbling.
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

  5. #4
    VIP Member
    Array ccman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    CT, USA
    Posts
    2,021
    Dukalmighty.
    How long is a piece of string ?

    How tall is a little boy ?.

  6. #5
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    texas
    Posts
    15,177
    Quote Originally Posted by ccman View Post
    Dukalmighty.
    How long is a piece of string ?

    How tall is a little boy ?.
    I have a 12th grade education and If we covered that in class it has slipped my mind Besides I'm trying to figure out #3
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

  7. #6
    DC Founder
    Array Bumper's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    20,045
    Quote Originally Posted by dukalmighty View Post
    I have a 12th grade education and If we covered that in class it has slipped my mind Besides I'm trying to figure out #3
    Number 3? I haven't even solved #1 yet....
    Bumper
    Coimhéad fearg fhear na foighde; Beware the anger of a patient man.

  8. #7
    VIP Member Array JonInNY's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Mid-Hudson Valley New York State
    Posts
    4,207
    Here are my answers that I worked all night on:

    1. 3" limb
    2. 64 Pontiac GTO.
    3. 8
    4. 5 Cases
    5. 3.216%
    6. 2
    7. No
    8. 0.0001 %
    9. 4 Cartons
    10. Once every 4.8 Years

    Go ahead... anyone... PROVE ME WRONG!
    "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch; Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."
    -- Benjamin Franklin

  9. #8
    VIP Member Array Yoda's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    East Texas
    Posts
    2,782
    An Opossum doesn't weight more than 40 pounds, a 1 inch persimmon branch would surely support it.
    Yoda, I am, yes.

  10. #9
    Senior Member
    Array gimpy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    1,023
    Quote Originally Posted by ccman View Post
    Dukalmighty.
    How long is a piece of string ?
    That's easy. It is twice the distance from the center to one end.

    "Society never advances. It recedes as fast on one side as it gains on the other. It undergoes continual change; but this change is not [an improvement]. For everything that is given, something is taken."
    Ralph Waldo Emerson

  11. #10
    Senior Member Array Rob P.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    In the sticks
    Posts
    631
    Quote Originally Posted by JonInNY View Post
    Here are my answers that I worked all night on:

    1. 3" limb
    2. 64 Pontiac GTO.
    3. 8
    4. 5 Cases
    5. 3.216%
    6. 2
    7. No
    8. 0.0001 %
    9. 4 Cartons
    10. Once every 4.8 Years

    Go ahead... anyone... PROVE ME WRONG!
    ABSOLUTELY WRONG!!!!

    1) 1/4" You ever see a possum in a tree? They can remain in the tree by hanging onto twigs.
    2) The fairlane. FORD = Found Off Road Dead. You think Ford's earned that moniker because they rusted slower than GM cars?
    3) That's pa's problem. I'm just the delivery driver.
    4) Assuming that the woodcutter drinks a 12 pack per day, starts drinking at the moment of anticipating cutting the trees down, and lives to approximately 62 years old; then 396 beers will be drunk before he dies whilst still thinking about which tree he should start on first. (Da math: 62-29 (age of 'adulthood') = 33 [times] 12 = 396.)
    5) 0%. There are no "old" refrigerators.
    6) 47. Each hound takes up 3 sq feet. The porch is 128 square feet. 5 good ol' boys take up 4 square feet each. That leaves only 108 square feet of porch for the dogs (which is barely enuf). When the porch collapsed 47 coon dogs were hurt, Billy Joe-Ray was smacked around sum for having a unsafe porch (which he apologized for with free beer), and then we-all went huntin'.
    7) Yes, but one of the youngest kids has to share a porch.
    8) Depends on who was driving the vehicle in the front of the truck. If Billy Joe-Ray was driving up front then the coon truck might miss him, might not. Depends on how mad the driver was, if any of HIS dogs got hurt when the porch collapsed, and if he had any of the free beer.
    9) None. Dontcha know that you caint smoke while in the mine?
    10) Alabama = 3 yrs (if ya keep the breedin' stock locked up together for a couple years and have a vet handy for treating the scratches and bites). Tenn = 7 yrs 4 mos. (had ta wait on the 2d sister to reach puberty and then get her drunk(er)). Kentucky = never. (They can't seem to get 2 country western singers to mate and produce viable offspring even with incentives like big houses and fancy food let alone out in the wild).

  12. #11
    Distinguished Member Array Reborn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Rowlett, Texas
    Posts
    1,739
    Quote Originally Posted by Yoda View Post
    An Opossum doesn't weight more than 40 pounds, a 1 inch persimmon branch would surely support it.
    I belief there are several things to consider here.

    If the Opossum hanging from his tail, holding on with his teeth or standing on it.
    Which way is the wind blowing?
    Is it night or day?
    What season is it?
    What state is the tree in and which state is the possum from?


    Working # 2 now....
    Last edited by Reborn; June 30th, 2008 at 04:23 PM. Reason: added text
    Psalms 144:1
    Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight.
    Senior Instructor for Tactical and Defensive of Texas
    http://www.tac-def-tx.com/
    CHL INSTRUCTOR
    Retired LEO
    NRA member
    TCHA member

  13. #12
    VIP Member Array JonInNY's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Mid-Hudson Valley New York State
    Posts
    4,207
    Quote Originally Posted by Rob P. View Post
    ABSOLUTELY WRONG!!!!


    I cannot believe you actually did that! That's amazing! I'm duly impressed!
    "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch; Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."
    -- Benjamin Franklin

  14. #13
    VIP Member
    Array nn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    7,120
    Well I did not take the test

  15. #14
    Senior Member Array Rob P.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    In the sticks
    Posts
    631
    Quote Originally Posted by JonInNY View Post


    I cannot believe you actually did that! That's amazing! I'm duly impressed!
    Why? Is jes common redneck knowlige is all.

    Sumbuddy needs ta check ma math tho. I think I lef out a couple dogs offin the porch.

    BTW, Pa tol' me he needs only 3 radiators for his still and it duz neerly 20 galluns a hour if'n he keeps the mash bublin hot.

  16. #15
    VIP Member Array JonInNY's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Mid-Hudson Valley New York State
    Posts
    4,207
    Quote Originally Posted by Rob P. View Post
    Why? Is jes common redneck knowlige is all.

    Sumbuddy needs ta check ma math tho. I think I lef out a couple dogs offin the porch.

    BTW, Pa tol' me he needs only 3 radiators for his still and it duz neerly 20 galluns a hour if'n he keeps the mash bublin hot.
    Well, now I'm forced to post this as well (with advance apologies to any true rednecks out there). after all, I'm just a New Yorkah, so what do I know?:

    You might be a redneck if. . .

    You think the stock market has a fence around it.
    Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.
    Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
    You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
    Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
    There are more than five McDonald's bags currently on the floorboard of your car.
    The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
    Fewer than half of your cars run.
    You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
    The taillight covers of your car are made of tape.
    You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.
    Your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
    The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.
    Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath!"
    Your family tree does not fork.
    The flood history of the area can be seen on your living room walls.
    There is a gun rack on your bicycle.
    Your wedding was held in the delivery room.
    The antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
    Your hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
    Your brother-in-law is your uncle.
    Your entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
    You go to the family reunion to pick up women.
    You think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.
    You've ever shot a deer from inside your house.
    You think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.
    Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.
    You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.
    "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch; Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."
    -- Benjamin Franklin

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Similar Threads

  1. Very smart dog!!!
    By Pure Kustom in forum Off Topic & Humor Discussion
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: November 13th, 2010, 08:13 PM
  2. Now, this is smart
    By eCustomknife in forum Off Topic & Humor Discussion
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: January 24th, 2010, 09:26 AM
  3. Smart Dog
    By dukalmighty in forum Off Topic & Humor Discussion
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: September 3rd, 2009, 08:57 PM
  4. wow im smart
    By friesepferd in forum Defensive Carry Holsters & Carry Options
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: August 8th, 2007, 02:54 PM
  5. Not Smart
    By WJP9 in forum Off Topic & Humor Discussion
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: April 18th, 2006, 01:09 AM