I am coming here to complain, I am depressed…DIT

I am coming here to complain, I am depressed…DIT

This is a discussion on I am coming here to complain, I am depressed…DIT within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I appreciate this online communities view and opinions, you tell it like it is and I love that about all of you. Thanks!!! I have ...

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Thread: I am coming here to complain, I am depressed…DIT

  1. #1
    Member Array nkanofolives's Avatar
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    I am coming here to complain, I am depressed…DIT

    I appreciate this online communities view and opinions, you tell it like it is and I love that about all of you. Thanks!!!

    I have to vent my (very selfish) frustrations somewhere. Sorry if I come across as a whiney brat, that is not my intentions. Keep in mind, I come from a very privileged background, I have never known, hunger, poverty, hard times, ect.

    Also, sorry for the long story.

    I am 25, been married for 2 years. I basically met a girl in college when I lived in CA, moved to VA to be with her and am relatively happily married. My sister is 2 years younger than I am. My parents have always put A LOT of pressure on me and quite a bit less than my sister. I know that they “do this for my own good.” Hindsight now, I appreciate it.

    I got about 3/4 of they way through college and dropped out. School is not for me….just isn’t…no apologies, it’s just who I am. Now it is unfair to presume that my college experience was a waste. Without some of the classes I took, I certainly would not be able to have the IT Sales job I do today. My sister just graduated college two months ago.

    Back in High School, my parents purchased a brand new Honda Civic for me. I got into College and they told me that I now had to pay the $250 per month car payment and other car related expenses. Kind of difficult to do when I only made $400-$450 per month. My sister has never had a car payment, she was given my moms new (6 months old) Mustang when she was in High School.

    So my parents today just dropped $37K+ on a brand new car for my sister (Mercedes C350 Sport). I am kind of jealous and saddened. My parents know that the only reason the wife and I fight is because of money. I am not saying I am demanding they hand me $40K right now, but…it just sucks you know?

    My Civic now has 130K miles on it and needs about $1000 of work to it for it to pass the VA safety inspection next month. I want a newer car, but can not really afford it. The wife and I do not make a lot of money, but am I so happy with my life. I love my wife and the life I lead. I value the things that I am able to purchase and do with my own hard earned money. But it does suck when you have $50 in your account and you do not get paid for another week (story of my/our life)

    I wanted to purchase the mustang from my parents (about $5K), but they just upped and sold it this weekend. Bummer there.

    The best way I can describe things: Ever since I moved to VA, I have been “punished” for doing so. My sisters boyfriend has basically taken over my spot in the family. My father often takes him fishing, golfing, ect. (Things he rarely used to do with me). I know that if the wife and I were to move back to CA, we could enjoy all of the spoiling that my sister and her boyfriend are enjoying (which we are not about to do).

    I am just feeling realllly down on myself right now. What suggestions can you all offer (aside from telling me to shut up, quit complaining and work hard)?


  2. #2
    Member Array 2AMomma's Avatar
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    My family dropped me when I married my husband - but I won out as his family accepted me from the get go and they are much more of a family to me than mine ever was....

    That being said, what is her family like?
    "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed."


    "SA is a cognitive state or process associated with the assessment of multiple environmental cues in a dynamic situation" ~ Isaac

  3. #3
    Member Array nkanofolives's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2AMomma View Post
    My family dropped me when I married my husband - but I won out as his family accepted me from the get go and they are much more of a family to me than mine ever was....

    That being said, what is her family like?
    Her family is freaking awesome!!! Her brother (packinnova) gives me crap all the time, but thats to be expected I suppose

  4. #4
    Member Array uakaos's Avatar
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    cali sux. id rather be broke all the time (which i am) then deal will that horrible place. even if you moved back nothing would change. it didnt change when you were there and it wont if you go back.
    being the older and a male at that not only were you the test child but they expect more out of you.
    at least they gave you a car. i paid for mine from some crackhead a few block away from me when i was 18.
    and paid rent since i was 14.
    it dont matter how bad you think things get. just remember it could always be worse.
    all i got to say is you aint got it bad.
    "An unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it."

  5. #5
    VIP Member Array wmhawth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nkanofolives View Post
    I appreciate this online communities

    I am just feeling realllly down on myself right now. What suggestions can you all offer (aside from telling me to shut up, quit complaining and work hard)?

    Sorry..That about sums up my advice for you. Be a man son.

  6. #6
    Member Array 2AMomma's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nkanofolives View Post
    Her family is freaking awesome!!! Her brother (packinnova) gives me crap all the time, but thats to be expected I suppose
    So it seems you married up!! Take it for what it is and enjoy your new life!
    "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed."


    "SA is a cognitive state or process associated with the assessment of multiple environmental cues in a dynamic situation" ~ Isaac

  7. #7
    Senior Member Array Sergeant Mac's Avatar
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    When you strike out on your own, it's important to come to terms with the ON YOUR OWN part.

    It is both its own reward, and its own punishment.

    You'll find your way. It might not be easy, but you'll manage.

    One of the things you learn along the way is not to DEPEND on anyone else if you can at all avoid it, because so many people are just plain undependable.

    The most economical solution for your immediate predicament might just be to drop that $1000 on repairs for the Civic. I doubt you're going to find a $1000 car out there that'll pass inspection. Besides, though I don't personally care for them, I've heard that Honda Civics are good, dependable cars.

    You will never be able to control how other people act. You can only control how you RE-act. Your parents raised you to adulthood. They fulfilled their OBLIGATION. Everything from this point on is a matter of CHOICE.

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    I'm happy you are able to vent over this, often that and a good night's sleep can help. However, I think it's risky to give advice only hearing from one side of your story. I can give you a few ideas from a nearly 56 year old guy, married 33 years, with two grown kids:

    1. Life is unfair, you have to learn to deal with that. You don't always get a level playing field.

    2. Two wrongs don't make a right. If your parents or someone have short-changed you somehow, don't let it wreck your relationship with them or your wife. They may be wrong, but they are still your parents. You only have so many years on earth to enjoy that relationship, don't waste it on squabble. In other words "life is too short".

    3. Aging has a way of maturing and mellowing a person. I know, I'm not exactly the same person I was 20 years ago. Your parents are still aging also, and it is a "process of change". You mentioned your sisters boyfriend was sort of taking over your spot. You may be right, you aren't there, your father misses the relationship that he was accustomed to. I don't mean to sound crass, but you moved away from him, he didn't move away from you.

    4. Good luck, and phone your parents at least weekly, check on them and see how they are doing. Visit when you can, invite them to do the same.
    Turn the election's in 2014 to a "2A Revolution". It will serve as a 1994 refresher not to "infringe" on our Second Amendment. We know who they are now.........SEND 'EM HOME. Our success in this will be proportional to how hard we work to make it happen.

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    Member Array BUTCH69's Avatar
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    Just remember, life's not about how hard you can hit, but how hard you can get hit and keep going!
    It has come to pass

  10. #10
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    All of us here on DefensiveCarry could all chip in with cash contributions to raise that 37 Thou you need to buy yourself a nice Mercedes C350 if that would help any.

    That would really show your parents that you don't really need them after all and you could buy your new Mercedes in a snappier, brighter color than the one your Sister got.
    That would probably serve to make her deservedly jealous.

    And then once you get your new Mercedes the very first place you could drive it to (right after you drink in some of that New Car Smell of course) should be to a Military rehab facility where you could help spoon feed a Vet that is back in the U.S. after having had both his arms blown off BUT, is not complaining about it.


    That might help to put your personal problems into perspective.

    Sorry but, if your intention is to want truthfulness from forum members then my opinion is that you do come across as a whining brat.
    That does not mean that I harbor any ill will toward you but, you need to make your own life for yourself and free money will not make you any happier.

    It should be easy to make things right with your parents and become #1 Son again as soon as they realize that love them for more than their checkbook.
    Liberty Over Tyranny Μολὼν λαβέ

  11. #11
    Senior Member Array flagflyfish's Avatar
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    It sounds to me like a gratitude list may be in order. Take a pen and paper and write down everything you are grateful for (even the little things). I learned this trick a few years back for getting out of a funk and it works well for me. It sounds like you have a lot to be thankful for and opportunities abound.

    Someone once told me the secret to happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have. At the risk of sounding kinda greeting card flowery, I'll give you one important thing to remember.

    Yesterday is history, and tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift.
    That's why it's called the present.
    "These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier
    and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the
    service of his country; but he that stands it now, deserves the
    love and thanks of man and woman."

    -- Thomas Paine (The American Crisis, No. 1, 19 December 1776)

  12. #12
    AMH
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    Drink water. Take a knee. Drive on.
    Join the NRA!
    The Second Amendment has nothing to do with hunting. It is about keeping the government in check. This requires that the citizenry is well armed and at all times has immediate access to arms.

  13. #13
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    My daughter is 26 yrs old raising a child on her own occassionally i have to chip in for things that she can't budget for,never once has she complained about how unfair life is,want my .02 quit your whining,want more money find a better job or do what it takes to get a better paying job,I hear the militarys hiring kids and teaching them to be "MEN"
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

  14. #14
    VIP Member Array matiki's Avatar
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    Hang in there.

    I'm the oldest of three, so's my wife. By the time our younger siblings hit any given age we had been, they had far more freedom, privilege and material things. I was grounded for asking for an Atari too many times. My brother? He got a Nintendo the week it came out - without asking. And when he wanted a Genesis instead? Well you know how that worked out... at least I got the Nintendo.

    It goes with the territory - the territory of being the elder sibling.
    "Wise people learn when they can; fools learn when they must." - The Duke of Wellington

  15. #15
    B52
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    Don't sweat it my sister is the same way. My parents have never helped out with my three kids even when I have deployed multiple times. My sister is 35 and in Law school and daddy is still footing the bill. She is a spoiled brat that is already on her second marriage and has nothing in her life but her new cookie-cutter hubby, daddy bought Infinity, and school. I on the other hand am the rich one. I have a loving wife, three awesome kids, and great in-laws. We may drive older cars, but that has never bothered me. Money is something we could use a little more of, but I wouldn't trade my life to anyone. Blessings are all around you; look harder if you can't find them. I love my parents and hope one day they will see what they are doing to my sister by enabling her. Take care man, it sounds like you are a good dude!

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