Cop Jokes

Cop Jokes

This is a discussion on Cop Jokes within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; GOOD: Madison, WI policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem- a 12-year-old boy was ...

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Thread: Cop Jokes

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array Sheldon J's Avatar
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    Talking Cop Jokes

    GOOD: Madison, WI policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem- a 12-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read 'RADAR TRAP AHEAD'. The officer also found the boy had an accomplice who was down the road with a sign reading 'TIPS' and a bucket full of money.

    (And we used to just sell lemonade!)



    BETTER: A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an

    automated radar post in La Crosse , WI . A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.


    BEST: A young woman was pulled over for speeding. A Wisconsin State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book. She said, 'I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Trooper's Ball. 'He replied, ' Wisconsin State Troopers don't have balls.' There was a moment of silence. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left.
    "The sword dose not cause the murder, and the maker of the sword dose not bear sin" Rabbi Solomon ben Isaac 11th century


  2. #2
    VIP Member Array BigEFan's Avatar
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    Why did God invent Cops????
    ?
    ?
    ?
    ?
    ?
    ?
    ?
    ?
    ?
    ?
    ?
    ?
    ?
    ?
    ?
    So Firefighters could have heroes too!
    Lex et Libertas — Semper Vigilo, Fortis, Paratus, et Fidelis!

    "Not only do the people who put their lives on the line to protect the rest of us deserve better, we all deserve better than to have our own security undermined by those who undermine law enforcement." -Thomas Sowell

  3. #3
    1943 - 2009
    Array Captain Crunch's Avatar
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    Substitute any of the State Police/Trooper/Highway Patrol agencies of the other 49 states for Wisconsin and you'll get the number of versions of that old, stale, tired joke.


    When you’re wounded and left on Afghanistan’s plains,
    And the women come out to cut up what remains,
    Just roll to your rifle and blow out your brains,
    And go to your God like a soldier.

    Rudyard Kipling


    Terry

  4. #4
    VIP Member Array glock27mark's Avatar
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    radar warning

    never heard that one before, classic.
    i like the photo leo sent w/ pic. of handcuffs.
    (SHERIFF BUFORD T. JUSTICE) "what the hell is
    the world coming too"

    NRA LIFE MEMBER

    U.S. ARMY FT.SILL, OKLA.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Array Cthulhu's Avatar
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    Heard them all before.

    Still funny.



    -JT

  6. #6
    Senior Member Array Sergeant Mac's Avatar
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  7. #7
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    Array QKShooter's Avatar
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    A litle old Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.
    "Ma'am, I'm not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy."
    "Oh, I'll let my husband Jacob know as soon as I get home," said the little old Amish lady.
    "That's fine," said the officer.
    "Another thing, ma'am. I don't like the way that one rein loops across the horse's back and around one of his testicles. I consider that animal abuse. That's cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!"
    Later that day, the little old Amish lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop.
    "Well, what exactly did he say?" said the husband.
    "He said the reflector is broken."
    "I can fix that in two minutes. What else?"
    "I'm not sure," said the little old Amish lady, "something about the emergency brake...."

  8. #8
    VIP Member Array Paco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sergeant Mac View Post
    Those are hilarious!
    "Don't hit a man if you can possibly avoid it; but if you do hit him, put him to sleep." - Theodore Roosevelt

    -Paco
    http://www.shieldsd.net

  9. #9
    Member Array artemis28's Avatar
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    Not exactly a cop but...

    One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing

    and decides to take a nap.

    Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take

    the boat out. She motors out a short distance, and reads her book.

    Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the

    woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

    "Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, Isn't that obvious?")

    "You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.

    "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

    "Y es, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could

    start at any moment. "I'll have to take you in and write you up."

    "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says

    the woman.

    "But I haven't even touched you, " says the game warden.

    "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you

    could start at any moment."

    "Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

  10. #10
    VIP Member Array Sheldon J's Avatar
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    Talking This one is suppose to be a true story...

    One day Trooper W. spotted a woman riding a motorcycle topless down the highway and he pulled her over. He called into Crawford Co. dispatch, and was overheard by all the LEO agencies in the county who were too small and poor to have their own dispatch system, to get the appropriate statute for this obvious transgression. However, there were no laws on the state books about women driving topless, nor were there any county ordinances against it.

    The county dispatcher, eager to help the befuddled trooper realized that Missouri DOES have a helmet law for motorcyclists and so asks Trooper W., "Is she wearing a helmet?"

    To which Trooper W. replied over the radio for all to hear, "I don't know, I'll check and see."
    "The sword dose not cause the murder, and the maker of the sword dose not bear sin" Rabbi Solomon ben Isaac 11th century

  11. #11
    Member Array Benthic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sergeant Mac View Post


    Brian

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