The Laws Of Ultimate Reality

[Sheldon J]

THE LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY

& Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

& Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

& Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

& Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

& Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

& Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

& Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

& Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

&Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

& Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

& The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

& Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

& Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

& Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

& Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

& Oliver's Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

& Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

& Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
& Good Food Law
The better something tastes, the greater the probability that it is bad for you.

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[artemis28]

Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

That one drives me nuts!
Pretty funny and all true

[rodc13]

Cole's Law
Thinly sliced cabbage with mayo.

[atctimmy]

Cole's Law
Thinly sliced cabbage with mayo.

That was good.

[Bark'n]

[JonInNY]

1) The odds of a dropped part rolling into an inaccessable spot is directly proportional to its importance.

2) After you secure the cover with 35 screws, you'll realize you left out the gasket.

3) If "all rules are made to be broken" is a rule, where does that leave us?

4) What if the hokey-pokey really is what it's all about?

[sgtD]

The law of single women:

No matter how good looking she is, if she's single, then some man somewhere is tired of putting up with her.

(Disclaimer: yes ladies, this also applies to single men)

[Army22rpr]

"Cole's Law- Thinly sliced cabbage with mayo."

You're killing me!

[JonInNY]

The other lane (checkout, highway, bank, etc.) always moves faster.

[Sergeant Mac]

Incoming fire has the right of way.

Friendly fire.....isn't.

If the enemy is in range, SO ARE YOU.

[JonInNY]

Friendly fire.....isn't.

I agree with that one. The only friendly fire that I know of is the one you toast marshmallows and sing songs around.

[ouch]

Those are good to bad they all seem to be true