Friend threatened at work today

This is a discussion on Friend threatened at work today within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I'm just looking for a place to vent. I have a friend/coworker who was working with a hothead today. The hothead is another coworker who ...

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Thread: Friend threatened at work today

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array grady's Avatar
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    Friend threatened at work today

    I'm just looking for a place to vent.

    I have a friend/coworker who was working with a hothead today. The hothead is another coworker who has serious anger-management problems that remain unaddressed by management because... well, I guess management would rather not deal with the hothead. I myself have had issues with the hothead in the past. The best strategy is to avoid working with this person if possible, but it's not always possible.

    Today we had a group of people doing some heavy moving, and my friend saw a potentially dangerous situation where hothead might get his hand crushed. My friend shouted out a warning, a short conversation followed, and hothead ended up threatening my friend with physical violence in front of witnesses and our boss.

    After we got back to the shop, the boss talked to my friend and tried to say my friend started it because he yelled at hothead. Boss thinks the shouted warning was "Watch your xxxxxxxx hand", but it was actually "Watch your hand!"

    I spoke to my friend extensively about this today. I asked him if hothead's actions were acceptable to him. Although my friend is in no way feminine, this situation reminds me of domestic violence situations where one partner (usually male) threatens the other (usually female) with violence. So many times a female will repeatedly tolerate overt threats of violence, and sometimes the conduct eventually escalates until there is actual violence.

    Anyway, after my friend indicated he would go over the boss's head if the boss didn't deal with it, finally the boss agreed to take it up with the boss's supervisor tomorrow morning.

    There WILL be documentation over this event. There may be police charges filed.

    Kudos to my friend for taking this issue seriously and not sweeping it under the rug.

    The hothead has a long history of aggression toward others, but management has consistently tried to placate him because otherwise he makes the boss's life miserable.

    Hothead never threatened violence before. Today he crossed the line. This is unacceptable for our workplace.

    Things may get wild tomorrow. The hothead is an extremely fit and highly aggressive weightlifter who actively pursues others to harass. He and I have come to a relative truce over the years, but he is always one innocent comment from blowing a main gasket and looking to pick a fight.

    It's too bad people have to act like that. My friend/coworker has been actively trying to avoid confrontation with the hothead by avoiding situations where they are together, and when they are together, by being very careful with what he said. It's pathetic that he was threatened after trying to warn hothead of a possible impending injury.

    It's really sad that some people act like this. Careers may be impacted tomorrow, and if not tomorrow, then perhaps the next time hothead decides to go off on someone. I came home tonight and just wanted to sit with my family and appreciate the fact that they are here with me because today I was reminded of how quickly things can change.

    Although different in degree (at the moment), my friend's situation reminds me of the stories in Personal Defense in the News: through no fault of their own, terrible things happen to good people, people who didn't ask for the things to happen, people who even tried to avoid bad things happening to them. Due to the actions of others, their lives are impacted in bad ways. All they are left with are the decisions on how to react. Same with my friend. He didn't ask for this, he tried to avoid it, yet it still came because of someone else's selfish and aggressive tendencies.

    I am deeply saddened by this. This is the friend who introduced me to concealed carry, and who has been my mentor and study partner from day one of CCW.

    Tomorrow will likely be a day we will remember for the rest of our careers/lives. It is not out of the realm of possibilities for hothead and one of his extremely fit cohorts to make more threats and possibly attempt to back them up. And if not tomorrow, it could come at any time, any day, any place.

    OTOH, if we don't get proper action from the two bosses, we will go over their head in a moment. We can take this to national headquarters with one email... the email is already written.

    Okay, got to get some sleep. May have a big day tomorrow. And yeh, in the previous paragraph I said "we". This dog ain't runnin' from this fight. This friend has been my backup a thousand times, and I his. Other than family, he's the closest friend I have. I'll go to hell and back for him, and I may have the chance to prove that sometime soon.

    He'll never ask, but for those that pray, maybe you could say a prayer for him for wisdom and safety.

    One more thing: he's a member here at DC.

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  3. #2
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    Sounds like he's juiced on steroids.
    -Bark'n
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    "The gun is the great equalizer... For it is the gun, that allows the meek to repel the monsters; Whom are bigger, stronger and without conscience, prey on those who without one, would surely perish."

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    Senior Member Array MilitaryPower's Avatar
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    I hope it goes well. Remember, two cool heads are better than one hothead.

    People need to realize two things, getting people mad can cause them to shoot you, and don't intentionally make people mad if you can help it. Be polite, be courteous, and have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
    Gun control can be blamed in part for allowing 9/11 to happen.
    "Si Vis Pacem Para Bellum" (Latin)- "If you want peace, prepare for war".

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    VIP Member Array ExactlyMyPoint's Avatar
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    Wow. A few questions.

    What kind of work are you in?

    What is so special about this guy that he wasn't fired long ago due to his anger management issues?

    Do you carry at work?

    How many people saw this incident?

    If he gets fired, would he come back with weapons?

    Would he come after you? Does he know where you live?

    Lots of things to think about. I pray that you and everyone else stays safe and takes the necessary protective measures.
    Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.

  6. #5
    VIP Member Array grady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by exactlymypoint View Post
    Wow. A few questions.

    What kind of work are you in?
    I'm sorry to be so mysterious, but I can't answer that question.

    Quote Originally Posted by exactlymypoint View Post
    What is so special about this guy that he wasn't fired long ago due to his anger management issues?
    Management has no balls.

    Quote Originally Posted by exactlymypoint View Post
    How many people saw this incident?
    Three at the least, and maybe four.

    Quote Originally Posted by exactlymypoint View Post
    If he gets fired, would he come back with weapons?
    Doubtful. He trusts in his great strength and aggression. He wouldn't feel the need for a weapon.

    Quote Originally Posted by exactlymypoint View Post
    Would he come after you?
    Doubtful at this point. Once an investigation starts, then perhaps. The biggest danger to me at this point is collateral damage or if he and a buddy come for my friend. Then it'll be a self-defense issue.

    Quote Originally Posted by exactlymypoint View Post
    Does he know where you live?
    It wouldn't be hard to find out. I don't think it would come to that. If anything happens, hothead would confront at work.

    Quote Originally Posted by exactlymypoint View Post
    Lots of things to think about. I pray that you and everyone else stays safe and takes the necessary protective measures.
    Thanks. I appreciate that. My friend is a survivor. It may get ugly, but I believe he will come out on top.

    I got about 3 hours sleep last night because I was thinking about this.

    Time to saddle up.

  7. #6
    VIP Member Array grady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bark'n View Post
    Sounds like he's juiced on steroids.
    Yes, it does.

    Quote Originally Posted by MilitaryPower View Post
    I hope it goes well. Remember, two cool heads are better than one hothead.

    People need to realize two things, getting people mad can cause them to shoot you, and don't intentionally make people mad if you can help it. Be polite, be courteous, and have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
    Agreed. My friend did all he could to avoid even talking to hothead, until my friend saw hothead in danger. How ironic, sad, and twisted.

    Now I really got to go.

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    VIP Member Array goldshellback's Avatar
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    Report back how work today went down, very intrested in the dynamic of this whole event.

    I agree with the steroids post. He sound like a walking 'roid rage incident "wanting" to happen.
    "Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008

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    Does your company have a human resources department? If so, do make a beeline to it and lodge an official complaint. That way the upper management cannot ignore the issue and have to deal with the situation. That is not to say that it will be fixed immediately but at least the bully will notice that he is in somebody's crosshairs (sort of speak) and might change his behavior. Of course, that does not mean your buddy should go condition white, but creating a forceful distraction might help.
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
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    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
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  10. #9
    VIP Member Array Paco's Avatar
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    Please keep us posted.

    Do you or your friend plan on carrying today, if you don't everyday already (just in case)? If not will you at least have it in your vehicle?

    Kind of sucks that your friend's boss tried to tell him that he started it with the "watch your hand" comment. I guess next time he'll just let the hand get squished and when asked why he didn't warn them he can say, last time I did that you got on to me about it, remember 7/23/08?
    "Don't hit a man if you can possibly avoid it; but if you do hit him, put him to sleep." - Theodore Roosevelt

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  11. #10
    Distinguished Member Array Paymeister's Avatar
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    Praying for wisdom and protection, and that God would give your management cojones and deal with the Hothead's.

  12. #11
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    I also had to deal with one of these hotheads. He had all the threats as well. I spoke with him and found out he was going to Anger Managment. I worked with him on issues. He did not change. In the end I had to let him go, followed by more threats. Security at the building used to joke with me he was waiting by my truck when I was leaving and they saw a red lazer from across the river. I never heard from him after. Good luck and watch it.

  13. #12
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    I guess your friend knows what to say if this jerk is going to get his hand crushed, next time...nothing.

    It is best to ignore these types of individuals, if possible. Engaging them is a 'no-win' situation.

    I would, however, try to make a paper trail of this and other issues, even if it's just a log of what happened and when.
    Life is complicated and it's not easy dealing with oddballs.

    Good luck in future endeavors with this lunatic.
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    Ex Member Array echobaby's Avatar
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    Is this a racial thing?

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    Member Array badmojo's Avatar
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    Sounds like local management needs additional training on how to deal with a hothead like this. By not addressing the problem and documenting the prior incidents, they are leaving the company open to a potential lawsuit. Worse yet, if this guy does flip out and hurt someone, they have contributed to the unsafe working environment by their failure to resolve the problem.

    If local management does not rectify this situation, then by all means send the email to HR and follow up with a phone call. Keep us updated.
    ‘‘We, the People are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts — not to overthrow the Constitution, but to overthrow men who pervert the Constitution.’’

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    VIP Member Array miklcolt45's Avatar
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    Grady,

    Prayers for this whole situation.

    Aren't some people fun?
    He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliott

    The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.
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