This is a discussion on That's When the Fight Started within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink ...
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," I sighed. "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
"Goodness gracious!" said my wife, "who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
And that's when the fight started...
From Brownells July 2008 WorkBench email newsletter.
I rear-ended a car, this morning, on my way to work.
So there we were, standing alongside the road, steam rolling from my punctured radiator, and slowly the other driver got out of his car. And you know how sometimes you just get sooo-stressed-out that real-life stuff seems to get really funny?
Yeah, well, I could NOT believe it . . . The other driver was a DWARF, only about 3 feet tall! So, he storms over to my car, looks up at me, and loudly proclaims, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Okay, well, which one are you then?'
There are over 550 million firearms in worldwide circulation. That's one firearm for every twelve people on the planet. The only question is: How do we arm the other 11? (Yuri Orlov [Nicolas Cage] Lord of War)
"Give this to, uh, Clemenza. I want reliable people, people who aren't going to be carried away. After all we're not murderers in spite of what this undertaker thinks."
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Certified Glock Armorer
NRA Life Member
I rear-ended a car, this morning, on my way to work.
So there we were, standing alongside the road, steam rolling from my punctured radiator, and slowly the other driver got out of his car. And you know how sometimes you just get sooo-stressed-out that real-life stuff seems to get really funny?
Yeah, well, I could NOT believe it . . . The other driver was a DWARF, only about 3 feet tall! So, he storms over to my car, looks up at me, and loudly proclaims, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Okay, well, which one are you then?'
When you’re wounded and left on Afghanistan’s plains,
And the women come out to cut up what remains,
Just roll to your rifle and blow out your brains,
And go to your God like a soldier.
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my drivers license to verify my age. I searched my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but i would have to go back home and return later.
The woman said "Unbutton your shirt". So I opened my shirt, revealing my curly silver hair.
She said "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed my application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office and she said "You should have dropped your pants, you might have gotten disability too."
And that's when the fight started.
And another I found
Well Wednesday was my 10th year anniversary and i forgot. My wife took it okay and hasnt said a word to me about it or really anything else for 2 days now. So tonite when i got home she finally broke and spoke. Said i had to make up for it by taking her some place expensive so I took her to the gas station.
Well Wednesday was my 10th year anniversary and i forgot. My wife took it okay and hasnt said a word to me about it or really anything else for 2 days now. So tonite when i got home she finally broke and spoke. Said i had to make up for it by taking her some place expensive so I took her to the gas station.
And thats when the fight started.
Miggy;
Is this joke the one you meant to post at TSSA??
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Originally Posted by cpmiv
