Draft Guys Over

This is a discussion on Draft Guys Over within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Got this in an email..... Draft Guys Over 60 New Direction for the war on terrorists. Send Service Vets over 60 years old. I am ...

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Thread: Draft Guys Over

  1. #1
    Distinguished Member Array sniper58's Avatar
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    Draft Guys Over

    Got this in an email.....

    Draft Guys Over 60

    New Direction for the war on terrorists. Send Service Vets over 60 years old.

    I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down
    terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

    For starters:

    Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

    Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts ! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some idiot that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

    An 18 -year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-b____.

    If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

    Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at, and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screamin g and yelling.

    They could lighten up on the obstacle course, however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push ups after completing basic training. I can hear the Drill Sgt. in the 'New army' now, 'Get down and give me ... ER ... one.'

    Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

    An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the
    back of his head.

    These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

    Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million pi$$ed-off old farts with 'attitude' and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

    If nothing else, put us on border patrol ... we will have it secured the first night !
    Tim
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  3. #2
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    nor did I ever do any push ups after completing basic training.
    What the heck kind of unit was he in?
    A man fires a rifle for many years, and he goes to war. And afterward he turns the rifle in at the armory, and he believes he's finished with the rifle. But no matter what else he might do with his hands - love a woman, build a house, change his son's diaper - his hands remember the rifle.

  4. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by OPFOR View Post
    What the heck kind of unit was he in?
    The Air Force.
    "Just blame Sixto"

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    Quote Originally Posted by SIXTO View Post
    The Air Force.
    Now I resemble that remark. As for running I once told a supervisor that running is reserved for three things, burning airplanes, free beer at the club and irate husbands.

  6. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by sniper58 View Post
    Got this in an email.....

    Draft Guys Over 60

    New Direction for the war on terrorists. Send Service Vets over 60 years old.

    I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down
    terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

    For starters:

    Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

    Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts ! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some idiot that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

    An 18 -year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-b____.

    If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

    Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at, and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screamin g and yelling.

    They could lighten up on the obstacle course, however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push ups after completing basic training. I can hear the Drill Sgt. in the 'New army' now, 'Get down and give me ... ER ... one.'

    Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

    An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the
    back of his head.

    These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

    Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million pi$$ed-off old farts with 'attitude' and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

    If nothing else, put us on border patrol ... we will have it secured the first night !
    Could you please clarify which days those were? I can't remember...
    The last Blood Moon Tetrad for this millennium starts in April 2014 and ends in September 2015...according to NASA.

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  7. #6
    Member Array Forscythe87's Avatar
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    I hear them hip replacements are great for stopping bullets.

    Wouldn't have to worry about using the bathroom either, depends already has ya covered.


  8. #7
    VIP Member Array hogdaddy's Avatar
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    I'm 45yrs young & have 14,000 secs a day free for thought uuuhhhhh ohYEA..

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