Lost my temper.

[Phil Elmore]

Those who bother to read my signature know that I promote "martialism" -- a philosophy of dynamic, assertive living that is the antithesis of pacifism and the "Glorious Path of Least Resistance." Promoting something does not necessarily mean mastering it, however. Martialism is an ideal -- a philosophy to which I strive. I do not always meet that ideal, however. What I mean is, there is dynamic, assertive living, and there is simply getting so furious that you let rage dictate your actions without considering what you might be doing.

The ideal "martialist" response to a car outside your home honking and honking, for example, would be to go outside and calmly ask the driver if he or she could please stop doing that -- polite, but firm, prepared to become more aggressive if the driver's response warrants it.

By contrast, here's what I did:

It was nearly 22:00 and I was relaxing at home. There was very loud rap music playing outside the building, which I figured was a "boom car" that would eventually go away. Then the honking started. I let it go at first, but then the driver started really leaning on the horn. It was obvious he or she was trying to get the attention of someone in a neighboring structure.

I got mad. I grapped my MaxFire Xenon light, stepped into my shoes, and went out into the hallway.



That's when the honking started repeatedly, a staccato, obnoxious drumbeat of car horn noise.

My blood pressure suddenly shot to its limit and I flew into a rage. I kicked the door open, I was so mad. Marching outside, I found a reasonably nice automobile full of what was apparently an entire urban family -- thirty-something male driver, matching female passenger, ugly urban children in the back seat... The type of people I guess would be listening to rap and honking for someone to come outside and get in the car, more or less.

Without preamble I lighted up the driver's side window and started barking in my loudest, most obnoxiously authoritative voice -- the voice I use for shouting epithets at drivers who do dangerous things at me on the road:

"THE HONKING WILL IMMEDIATELY CEASE! YOU WILL TURN YOUR MUSIC DOWN OR YOU WILL MOVE THIS VEHICLE OUT OF THE PARKING LOT!"

"What the fu-- Get that thing outta my face, who the hell are you to--" Sputtered the driver, squinting against the beam.

"YOU ARE HONKING YOUR HORN LIKE CRAZY AND THIS BEHAVIOR WILL IMMEDIATELY CEASE!" I ordered.

"Excuse me, sir," the woman in the passenger seat intervened -- probably doing her man AND me a favor. "You don't have to talk to us like children. You could just ask us and we would stop."

"THANK YOU." I said. I marched away.

"We're equal to you, you know," the woman called after me. "We probably make more money than you do, too."

Huh? some part of my brain registered that last part with confusion. What did that mean?

I went back inside, put the flashlight away, and tried to calm myself. I'd gotten so angry I was feeling adrenaline dump, which seemed an awfully foolish thing to be having over some moron honking a car horn. I definitely have some work to do to keep my temper down. I'm fairly grateful to Urban Girlfriend or Wife, as she managed to diffuse the situation for both me and her boyfriend or husband.

As for our relative incomes, I'm still wondering what any of that has to do with honking a horn outside somebody's home late at night. I imagine I will never know.

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[Fjolnirsson]

I'm not one to state the obvious, but man, you blew it. Too much caffeine that night, Phil?
As for the comment about the money, I've gotten that one a few times, working security, or as a bouncer in a bar, and I never understood it, either.

[QKShooter]

Phil ~ Chill ~ Pill

[P95Carry]

"We probably make more money than you do, too."

Yeah - that one is a classic - and actually if it were not for the possible inflammatory effect - deserves the ''bird'' LOL!

Seriously - well Phil yeah - you did blow your stack, tho - I have to admit that that sort of crazy noise pollution behavior would yank my chain - severely.

Anger management (that's what they call it these days I think ) - is important and somehow or other we have to go in light footed, well at first anyways. Chances are tho these folks were already proving their extreme lack of consideration to others, and I do wonder what the ''softly- softly" approach would have achieved - possibly not much.

Bottom line tho I guess is - go in at first gentle anyways - before the real sparks fly!! I do acknowledge tho your being able to admit to this episode - that in itself is worthy of respect, however much you feel you screwed up.

Lesson learned probably yeah!

[maclean3]

Yeah Phil, you lost it ... 'course, I did the EXACT same thing a few months back. The guy said something like "Don't talk to me like that, it's disrespectful." To which I said "What the **** do you call blasting your stereo outside people's apartments at this time of night?!" It was the third night in a row he'd done that but I haven't seen him since.
Jack

[HotGuns]

You guys are too much...

I would have simply popped the top on a a tear gas canister, tossed it underneath the car and walked off...

[Bumper]

That sounds like something I would have done before I got old and more laid back. I once stopped at a redlight only to have a couple of punks come up and start gunning their engine wanting to race. They were looking me over, laughing and yukking it up pretty good. They were in something like a Camaro and I was in a Jeep CJ5. When the light turned they took off tires squealing with the passenger hanging out the window flipping me off. We both got caught at the next light. They were still laughing until I got out of my Jeep, kicked their sideview mirror off the side of their car (against my ex-wife's objections) and got back in the Jeep about the time the light turned green. Funny, they just set there a couple of seconds, picked up the mirror and then drove off slowly, presumably hoping they didn't get caught beside me at the next light. Weak moment, flash in the pan PO'd over something silly but I must admit it felt so good at the time....

[Phil Elmore]

I genuinely felt bad about it, afterwards. It's after three in the morning and I'm still awake because I was so torqued up I couldn't relax. I ended up spending hours and hours just rearranging weaponry and supplies. I finally feel like I can sleep now.

On the plus side, this really demonstrated the psychological and physical advantage of having a bright handheld light in low-light conditions. ;)

Off to cope with my anger...

[oregonshooter]

"You don't have to talk to us like children. You could just ask us and we would stop."

If you were not acting like children I would not have to ask period! duh!

I would have knocked on the window, asked once nicely, then hit the vents with pepper spray.

[rocky]

While tactically I think escalating the situation was bad, some folks just need the wake up call to understand how foolish, inconsiderate or annoying they are. Would they have ceased loud noises if ya asked politely? Maybe, or maybe not. Everyone feels angry at times. You now regret your actions, so don't beat yourself up too bad. I think society allows people feel they can act like jerks and get away with it.

[rstickle]

Was a bit over the top Phil. On the other hand, trying to use their kids? What the heck do they think that sitting in a car going deaf will teach their kids.

[gregarat]

Phil,
Sorry, but Im picturing Robocop.

"THE HONKING WILL IMMEDIATELY CEASE! YOU WILL TURN YOUR MUSIC DOWN OR YOU WILL MOVE THIS VEHICLE OUT OF THE PARKING LOT!"

"YOU ARE HONKING YOUR HORN LIKE CRAZY AND THIS BEHAVIOR WILL IMMEDIATELY CEASE!" I ordered.

. If that sets off your temper, you DEFINETLY don't want my job. And no, I probably don't make more money than you.


I Hope ya have a better Thanksgiving!

[ExSoldier]

LOL Bumper, when I was in college at the University of Alabama, one of the seniors who just graduated from Army Ranger school was taking his customary ten miler one day and a carload of Hillbilly FRATS came by and stuck a baseball bat out the window and just grazed him in the ribs. Knocked him over, too. We think it was meant to bust those ribs. Stan just sat up and waved as they vanished around the curve laughing. He caught up to them at a light and a traffic jam and chunked one of those concrete buttons meant to keep folks from parking in an area right thru their windshield. They piled out of the car and chased him. He kept them just close enough to think they MIGHT catch him if they ran hard or long enough. When they were a few miles from their own car and in a very UNfriendly area of town he just put the burn on and left them in the dust, near the HQ of the local VFW (Very Few Whites).

[QKShooter]

Yep, that really was Amazingly "Robo Cop Like" Dialect.

"THE HONKING WILL IMMEDIATELY CEASE! YOU WILL TURN YOUR MUSIC DOWN OR YOU WILL MOVE THIS VEHICLE OUT OF THE PARKING LOT!"

"YOU ARE HONKING YOUR HORN LIKE CRAZY AND THIS BEHAVIOR WILL IMMEDIATELY CEASE!"

[GoodSamaritan]

4 words...

ten million candlepower spotlight.