Church Donation

This is a discussion on Church Donation within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; One Sunday a pastor told the congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra ...

Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: Church Donation

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    texas
    Posts
    15,177

    Church Donation

    One Sunday a pastor told the congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.



    After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in offering. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he'd like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate.



    A very quiet, elderly and saintly lady all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and in thanksgiving asked her to pick out three hymns.



    Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three handsomest men in the building and said,
    'I'll take him



    and him



    and him.'
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

  2. Remove Ads

  3. #2
    VIP Member Array artz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    2,351
    cute...LOL...
    " Refuse to be a victim, make sure there is a round chambered ! "

    Just call me a pessimistic optimist !

    U.S. Navy vet 1981-1992

  4. #3
    VIP Member Array JonInNY's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Mid-Hudson Valley New York State
    Posts
    4,207
    Knew that was coming, but still funny to read it!
    "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch; Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."
    -- Benjamin Franklin

  5. #4
    Moderator
    Array buckeye .45's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    7,610
    Wait a minute, $1,000 bill? She must be makin it herself.
    Fortes Fortuna Juvat

    Former, USMC 0311, OIF/OEF vet
    NRA Pistol/Rifle/Shotgun/Reloading Instructor, RSO, Ohio CHL Instructor

  6. #5
    VIP Member Array JonInNY's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Mid-Hudson Valley New York State
    Posts
    4,207
    It's rare but the $1,000 bill does exist:
    Attached Images
    "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch; Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."
    -- Benjamin Franklin

  7. #6
    Moderator
    Array buckeye .45's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    7,610
    Quote Originally Posted by JonInNY View Post
    It's rare but the $1,000 bill does exist:
    I've heard of em, but never seen an image before, thanks Jon.

    Why does Cleveland get that bill, anyone know?
    Fortes Fortuna Juvat

    Former, USMC 0311, OIF/OEF vet
    NRA Pistol/Rifle/Shotgun/Reloading Instructor, RSO, Ohio CHL Instructor

  8. #7
    VIP Member
    Array atctimmy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    NSA Headquarters
    Posts
    6,370
    Quote Originally Posted by buckeyeLCPL View Post
    I've heard of em, but never seen an image before, thanks Jon.

    Why does Cleveland get that bill, anyone know?
    Because Taft wouldn't fit?
    Mark Twain:
    The government is merely a servant -- merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a
    patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.

  9. #8
    Member Array freethead's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Minnesota
    Posts
    44
    Quote Originally Posted by atctimmy View Post
    Because Taft wouldn't fit?


Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Similar Threads

  1. Carry in Church-again? - Missouri Church Shooting
    By miklcolt45 in forum Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions
    Replies: 54
    Last Post: August 21st, 2007, 05:37 PM

Search tags for this page

church donations humor

Click on a term to search for related topics.