DefensiveCarry I need your help!

[tamworth]

I first thought '= 0' was an attempt at a shocked smiley face!!! either way, it's fitting. Now you guys shakes hands and make good.

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[SelfDefense]

I am with the keep your name crowd. It is not only traditional in our culture but it is normal. I know of no one who has changed his name because of marriage.

As to whether a woman not changing her name shows a lack of commitment, I can only say that my ex-wife did not change her name and she provided irrefutable evidence of her lack of commitment.

[Rob99VMI04]

WOW never knew how serious this was. OKAY I'm keeping the name.

[OPFOR]

Actually it means he's ahead of you by 2.

Bur Rod is a paratrooper. Therefore, he gets infinity bonus points...

[stanislaskasava]

You stated that a refusal to change her name suggests the woman's lack of commitment. That's a very narrow view and shows a lack of respect for the woman's decision. Commitment is purely individual. Whether someone chooses to take on a particular tradition to change one's name says nothing at all about whether they're committed to the relationship or not.

Perhaps a man insisting on a woman changing her name, against her wish, shows a lack of commitment to the woman, and a desire for her to subrogate her identity, and to be less than a full partner in the relationship. You can interpret symbols in lots of different ways.

The point is to consider every person, and every relationship, as an individual entity. Following one tradition or another doesn't ensure happiness or commitment. One chooses to be committed or not, regardless of symbols, religions, oaths or the lack thereof.

I think that purposely rejecting a harmless tradition by keeping your maiden name or hyphenating does suggest that a woman is making a special point about her individuality in a relationship that I believe should be a union. The same thing would be suggested about a man if the tradition were for him to take his wife's name. Of course, it's only a suggestion and separate from the truth, but that is my first thought when I see the hyphen. Just as my first thought when I see someone wearing a wedding ring is that they must be married. It is only a symbol, though.

As far as your view on every person being an individual entity... I guess I'm old fashioned enough to still remember an old phrase:

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

[atctimmy]

Bur Rod is a paratrooper. Therefore, he gets infinity bonus points...

Fair enough. I surrender.

[rodc13]

Bur Rod is a paratrooper. Therefore, he gets infinity bonus points...

It at least means I always obey the law . . . of gravity . . .