The Top 10 Reasons To Paddle Harder
10. The turkey vultures circling overhead look very hungry.
9. Two straight hours of girls scouts singing, "row, row, row your boat"
8. You suddenly realize the pretty fireworks off in the distance, is lightning.
7. That duct tape you just pulled off the raft was there for a reason.
6. The guide is screaming at us and has started to sob uncontrollably.
5. Too much coffee and no bathroom visit before launching.
4. I just saw the Taco Bell Lions on shore, talking about "El Rafto de Carne."
3. The eggs and chili that sounded like a good idea for breakfast, weren't.
2. The sound of banjo music coming from the woods is getting much louder.
1. The guy we just got soaking wet in the raft behind us is Chuck Norris.