Man Found Guilty of Using Garden Gnome as a Deadly Weapon

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Thread: Man Found Guilty of Using Garden Gnome as a Deadly Weapon

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    Senior Member Array 762's Avatar
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    Man Found Guilty of Using Garden Gnome as a Deadly Weapon

    FOXNews.com - Man Found Guilty of Using Garden Gnome as a Deadly Weapon - Local News | News Articles | National News | US News

    GREENSBURG, Pa. — A Pennsylvania man has been convicted of using a 2-pound concrete garden gnome as a deadly weapon in during a drunken rage aimed at his teenage stepdaughter.

    Charles S. Morrison, 31, of Greensburg, Pa., was convicted Tuesday of five charges, including felonious aggravated assault with a deadly weapon in connection with the Valentine's Day incident, according to a report in the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review.

    Morrison's 16-year-old stepdaughter was scratched above her right eye after he threw the 1-foot-tall smiling gnome through a glass door, the paper said.

    "He threw the gnome at the glass," she told the jury. "It shattered everywhere, and the glass hit me in the face."

    The defendant's attorney said he threw the gnome in frustration when he tripped on his way out of the house, but wasn't aiming for his stepdaughter.

    It took 90 minutes for the jury to find Morrison guilty. The other charges included two counts of simple assault, reckless endangerment and child endangerment. He was acquitted of a second charge of aggravated assault, the paper said.

    He could face up to 10 years in prison, the Tribune-Review said. He'll be sentenced in three months.

    Morrison is already serving a 15-month to five-year prison sentence for pleading guilty to his sixth drunken driving offense since 1997.
    Problem: Garden Gnomes
    Solution: registration and licensing of all garden Gnomes

    UK's response: Ban all garden Gnomes.
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    VIP Member Array rodc13's Avatar
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    Watch out! When gnomes are outlawed, only outlaws will give us those clever travel tips . . .
    Cheers,
    Rod
    "We're paratroopers. We're supposed to be surrounded!" Dick Winters

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    Actually the problem was being a drunk

    Solution: After your second DUI admit you have a problem and get help.
    “You can sway a thousand men by appealing to their prejudices quicker than you can convince one man by logic.”

    ― Robert A. Heinlein,

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    Senior Member Array 762's Avatar
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    my garden gnomes are full auto and have flash suppressors and bayonets.
    Let's Roll - Todd Beamer

    MOΛΩN ΛABÉ

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    My garden gnome is fully suppressed.

    Nobody's ever heard it make a sound.

    Matt
    Battle Plan (n) - a list of things that aren't going to happen if you are attacked.
    Blame it on Sixto - now that is a viable plan.

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    a Comprehensive Gnome bill

    It's simple:
    1. There should be a ten day wait to buy a garden gnome.
    2. Back ground checks should be run before all purchases.
    3. All gnomes should weigh over 100# to preclude people from going "garden"(postal)
    4. They should be banned from all inner cities as this would lead to a rise in crime.
    Associate with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company.- George Washington
    Serving Since 1985- "Airborne"

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    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    That travelocity guy really gets around
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

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    VIP Member Array rodc13's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Army22rpr View Post
    It's simple:
    1. There should be a ten day wait to buy a garden gnome.
    2. Back ground checks should be run before all purchases.
    3. All gnomes should weigh over 100# to preclude people from going "garden"(postal)
    4. They should be banned from all inner cities as this would lead to a rise in crime.
    So, you're saying there should be gnome-free zones . . .
    Cheers,
    Rod
    "We're paratroopers. We're supposed to be surrounded!" Dick Winters

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    Well...
    if you think about it, we've got to do something about this.

    I mean, garden gnomes are all over the U.S. I think that we should have some sort of permit system to own them, that way we know that only the good guys will have gnomes.

    Maybe we should put some sort of limit on the amount that you can own.

    Perhaps a height or weight requirement.

    We need to abolish the black ones because they are hard to see at night and only allow brightly colored ones to exist.

    We must do something! If only ONE child is saved froma scratch above their eye,it will be worth it !
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    Quote Originally Posted by rodc13 View Post
    So, you're saying there should be gnome-free zones . . .


    That's funny right there...

    Quote Originally Posted by HotGuns View Post
    We need to abolish the black ones because they are hard to see at night and only allow brightly colored ones to exist.
    Oh No you didn't...

    Mike A!

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    VIP Member Array rodc13's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HotGuns View Post
    Well...
    We need to abolish the black ones because they are hard to see at night and only allow brightly colored ones to exist.
    No way! Ban the colored ones because kids think they're toys! And cops won't be able to tell if it's a real gnome or a toy gnome.
    Cheers,
    Rod
    "We're paratroopers. We're supposed to be surrounded!" Dick Winters

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    Will anyone admit to carrying their Garden Gnome in a SmartCarry?
    He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliott

    The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.
    Albert Einstein

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    VIP Member Array miklcolt45's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rodc13 View Post
    So, you're saying there should be gnome-free zones . . .
    Would the opposite of that be a Gnome Man's Land?
    He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliott

    The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.
    Albert Einstein

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    i from time to time carry the CG 1000 (compact gnome 1000) with a hollow point hat.
    Let's Roll - Todd Beamer

    MOΛΩN ΛABÉ

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    You ought to see my truck gnome.

    Now THAT is impressive!
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